Crimp, I Mean Limp, In My Style

My heels were unfortunately run into with a cart yesterday and although one can never claim it feels good it certainly brought around a load of laughter later in the day.

I was sitting around with the family and I brought up the little incident that had happened to me earlier in the day and I mentioned how we'd accidentally do that to one another when we were kids. It was always on accident, at least in our case it was, as I would hope no one would purposefully drive a cart into someones heels. Anyhow, I was nearly in a fit of laughter and I could hardly see straight with my eyes squinted up so bad with the smile plastered on my face over the memories of our reactions when we'd get hit with the cart.

The cart would make a clatter as it was jolted to a stop and you could almost see the victim's back get smaller in size as they'd cringe with the initial pain. The culprit would look with a wide eyed face trying to read how the victim was going to react. The culprit would try their best not to laugh at the whole situation but watching the unfortunate victim tighten up so fast like that makes you bite your lip to keep the smile off your face that says "I sympathize with you, I'm so sorry." The victim that was clearly walking in front of the cart would immediately freeze upon impact and then slowly turn around with that all too familiar glare in their eyes that makes you want to shrink and make their world a better place for them..........but it's too late and the damage has been done, the heels have been crimped with a limp. Can you picture it?

Oh memory lane...........

Tut Tut It Looks Like Rain

I woke up to a cloudy day that had rain in the forecast. I was outside working in the yard during the morning hours and began the job of searching for rogue weeds sprouting through the grass. As I made my way down the yard I heard a pitter patter that resembled the beginning sound of a rainstorm. I immediately looked up thinking I would see what was the start of the rainstorm all over the sidewalk and all I saw were about 6 wet drops in a select area.

I was so consumed with weed picking that I didn't even realize how close I was to the sidewalk and the streetlight at the corner of our yard. I looked up at the towering streetlight and saw a bird sitting at the very top of the light.

I'm so glad it didn't "rain" on me. LOL!

Find the Pickle!

There is a German tradition that takes place involving a Christmas tree and a pickle. Parents would hide a pickle ornament on the Christmas tree and then the children would try to find it. Whoever the lucky finder of the pickle was would get a special Christmas treat.

This year my sister decided to start that tradition. On Christmas Eve when we were all gathered from the nights festivities my sister sent us from the living room so she could hide the pickle ornament. When the deed was done she called us out to begin the great pickle search. We decided it would only be fair if our mom got to the tree first since us "children" were all feeling a little antsy about finding it first.

We excitedly rushed to the tree, calmly behind Mother (LOL), and began the search for the treasured green pickle looking high and low, inside and out. We had hardly begun the search through the Christmas tree when I moved my foot back to take a step and clunked my ankle bone against a wooden table leg. I immediately collapsed to the floor in a fit of pain and giggles, grasping my ankle bone with both hands. Rather than stop the process of the search due to my own faulty move I decided to get out of the way so my mom, brother and husband could continue the search without stumbling over me. On hands and knees I practically crawled between my husbands legs to a safer location, laughing all the way.

The intense search continued and after I massaged away the pain I was ready to get back into the game. I walked over to the tree and began looking through the branches for the pickle. After listening to my brothers comments about how he couldn't find it anywhere on his side of the tree where he was looking I felt rather guilty when I spotted it near the trunk of the tree in the middle where he had already looked. As much as I love my brother I didn't let those feelings stop me from snatching it up myself and yelling, "I found the pickle!"

How exciting that was! Next time I am in Arizona for Christmas it will be my job to hide the pickle and oh how I can't wait........

Merry Christmas!

Hit to the Head

I wish I could say I'm fully prepared for trailer life and anything it throws at me but yet again I was caught by surprise.

My husband was working on a few small "home" repair projects outside when I decided to start working on one of my own repairs. I was determined to get the new door holder in place so I could once again leave the trailer door open without it banging shut against the screen. I stepped outside and proceeded down the trailer steps leaving the door open so the dogs could see what was going on. As I was opening the package of materials a piece dropped to the ground and I bent down to retrieve it. At the same exact moment a gust of wind blew our way attempting to send the trailer door slamming shut. . . . . against my poor head.

I immediately stood up grasping my head with one hand and my husband who was standing a few feet away mildly said, "That sounded like that hurt." No kidding! I think it was more embarrassing than anything else and with a few tears sprouting from my eyes I couldn't help but start laughing at the situation and what I must have looked like as the image replayed itself in my head.

Nothing like a mild concussion to get your day going!

The Night Watchman

Where to begin. . . . . .

The other night I was on the phone with a dear friend when I started hearing some strange sounds. It was a cool evening so we had our ceiling vents open and I heard a sound that made my senses go on alert. It sounded as though someone was tapping their fingers on the roof of our trailer. I cautiously got up off the bed from where I'd been laying down and peered up into the open vent half expecting to see someone staring back at me. I flipped the lights off in the bedroom so I could see into the darkness above me a little better and found nothing. I reassured myself it was just the wind that was to blame as it was causing things to blow around.

I continued my conversation with my friend and then my dog, Chloe, came up to me. I was picking up on the vibe that she needed to go outside. Secretly. . . I was not looking forward to going out into the night. I threw on a jacket, grabbed a flashlight and stepped out into the evening air with Chloe. I sent her off to do her business but all she'd do was stand there and stare at me.

It's very dark out here at night and we don't have a lot of room between our trailer and our parked vehicles and I continued hearing noises (most likely caused from the wind) but I let my imagination get the best of me. I would picture somebody peering at me from around the trailer or sneaking up from behind me and the noises began to freak me out. I had the flashlight on the whole time but it seemed right when I would shine it in the direction I wanted to "check" the light would go out! There I was standing beside our trailer, a wide eyed look on my face, a dog staring up at me, and I'm banging the flashlight against the palm of my hand willing it to turn on again all the while thinking this would be an opportune time for somebody to jump me. (I told you. . . . . wild imagination.)

So there I stood, darting the flashlight all around trying to check my surroundings with a dog that wouldn't go to the bathroom. I said forget it and we began our march to the trailer steps when I saw something sitting in the middle of the road, and it seemed to be looking in my direction. I had no idea what it was and when I tried to shine the flashlight on whatever it was the light wouldn't come on. Of course. After furiously clicking the button on the light and holding my breath it finally turned on and I shined it in the direction of the thing I saw. There sitting in the middle of the road was an owl staring straight at me.

That was the icing on the cake for me. I wondered how long he'd been watching me. My eyes were probably mirror images of his big eyes and I hustled Chloe and myself inside.

Whatever Chloe had to do would wait til daylight.

Cowpatria

My husband and I have moved to our newest location. A small town in the middle of the desert called Calpatria. However, with my own personal reasons I feel they should name this place Cowpatria.

We're living on a dirt lot with a few shade trees around us but that sizzling sun makes it feel more like summer than winter. We made camp on a space big enough to fit our trailer and both vehicles. Our "yard" size for our 3 dogs has definitely been cut down with both our vehicles being parked alongside the trailer. We have a small dirt patch with a few blades of grass shooting up from the ground, but perhaps I should say "had". I had to take our Benny boy outside on an emergency run and he went straight to the grass and chewed it down to nubbins.......much like a cow. He is our own personal black and white cow that has left us with little to no grass now. It's like a true Charlie Brown backyard.

So, with all the black and white cows around this farming community, including the one living inside my trailer, I feel the name of this town should be changed to Cowpatria.

Seems fitting.

Regulated

I went to Jason's Deli for lunch with my family today and after we finished our meals I asked if anyone wanted one of their complimentary soft serve ice-cream cones. While I got my sisters cone with chocolate frozen yogurt I noticed the chocolate was thick. It was coming out very slow and I wondered if the machine would have enough gusto to squeeze a little out into my own cone.

I grabbed a cone and pulled the lever for the chocolate. Nothing was coming out so I released the lever, waited a few seconds and then pulled it again. Ever so slowly some chocolate yogurt started to squeeze out, first a half inch, then an inch, then 2 inches.......and then all movement ceased. Now use your own imagination. I'm staring at a brown tube like structure of ice-cream that is just dangling above my cone waiting below. I could tell you what I thought it looked like but that wouldn't be appropriate. However, that didn't stop the man beside me from shouting it out.

"Whooooooa, that thing's constipated!" was all I heard. The man practically yelled it out as he looked over my shoulder. It's like he wanted people to come up and see this ridiculous stunt the machine was pulling. Rather than have an audience while I waited for the obstinate "constipated" chocolate yogurt to come out I moved over to the more "regulated" vanilla. LOL!

O-M-G

As my body is still getting used to Daylight Savings I find myself up early in the mornings. With so much time on my hands I figured a visit to the Eisenhower Museum was in order. So off I drove to Abilene, KS.

As I meandered through the museum I was all alone. I don't know whether I was the first one to show up today or I was just on the opposite side of the museum from other guests, but it was very quiet in there and I felt like I had the place to myself.

I went about reading the plaques that were loaded with information about Dwight D. Eisenhower and I soon found myself in a secluded back corner of the museum. I continued reading and looking at the black and white pictures placed on the wall when I heard a strange noise behind me. It sounded as though it was coming from the ceiling and I immediately looked up but didn't see anything out of the ordinary. I turned around and continued reading where I'd left off. After a few seconds had passed I heard another sound, as if something was being ripped or moved nearby and my senses were on alert. I swung around to take in my surroundings but still found nothing out of place. The noise grew louder and closer and it was definitely creeping me out. As my eyes darted back and forth around the exhibit I couldn't see anything strange. Then all at once I gasped with fright and jumped backwards as a plaque display peeled itself off the wall and slid to the floor. The sound I'd heard was nothing more than sticky tape being pulled apart. Talk about startled!

I immediately did a 360 to see if anyone had seen what just went down but I knew if the security cameras were rolling somebody had to have seen my display of wide eyed glances and my jerky dance to the side when it all came down.

As I was leaving that part of the museum I noticed an employee walking around pushing the plaques firmly against the wall where I had just been and I wondered, "Hmmm, did they just learn from my previous mishap?" LOL!

Disappearing Act

I once heard that if you have dogs that like to dig you should refill the holes and put dog poop on top of them in order to deter the dogs from digging. Well, I have put this suggestion to the test and found it to work..........until now.

Out of the three dogs I now own I have discovered that one of my dogs occasionally goes through a poop eating phase. Much to my dismay, of course.

The dogs got into some mischief over the last week and I found myself with rake in hand as I tried to fill the holes that had appeared on either end of the house. It was an ongoing battle trying to keep the holes filled and preventing the dogs from re-digging the holes until I remembered the "poop deterrence". I immediately went outside and placed a handful of ripe poopies on each of the holes. This process has worked fabulously in the past and present but I'm noticing something missing as of late...............poop.

Every time I go outside I notice that there are less and less poops covering the holes that the dogs have dug. I thought it odd that dog poop was seeming to simply disappear until I saw it with my own eyes. Out in the middle of the yard I noticed our boy pup chomping down on something abnormal looking. After rushing outside for a closer look I soon realized who our poop culprit was. Not only does he move the poop from its strategically placed location on the holes but he also makes it disappear.

Talk about cleaning up after yourself. LOL!

Hell's Kitchen

Today I survived working in the restaurant business for the first time ever.

As much as I love watching restaurant shows and reality cooking shows on TV I have never had a desire to work in the restaurant scene. Today however gave me a glimpse into the restaurant business I won't soon forget.

I was asked by family friends to help work in their catering/drive-up lunch window restaurant. I have never worked in the food industry and have even had nightmares over working a cash register machine but low and behold I agreed to do it. I showed up bright and early this morning at the back door to the restaurant and was welcomed in by the training committee.

Before I knew it I had donned an apron and was thrown into Training 101 on how to use a cash register. My biggest foe. I believe my tummy was in a ball of knots due to the anticipation but I soon figured out how to operate the machine. While processing a few to-go orders the machine blatantly beeped at me showing displeasure at my commands but I shook it off and continued onward. I wasn't about to let the machine frazzle me and it seemed my mouth made more blunders than anything.

While I was giving a customer a description of the main entree I caught myself saying, "We have a chickadee pattie that is fried...." It was supposed to be chickpea and as soon as I said chickadee I felt like slapping my hand to my forehead in embarrassment. Not only did the customer hear my mixed words but the construction worker across the lane was staring right at me as I rambled on about chickadee and chickpea. I laughed it off and quickly corrected my blunder. (Much to the customer's amusement I'm sure.) LOL!

I sent a lady out with a pita sandwich instead of a salad today but hopefully she'll forgive me because...............

I'll be back tomorrow and will face another fast paced lunch hour of filling customers orders and taking money.

Here's to another day in my own personal Hell's Kitchen episode. (It's pure bliss!)

Swat the Season

How is it that fly swatters can be a seasonal item in stores?

I have had so much trouble with flies in our trailer. They fly in and I can't seem to get rid of them. I have looked everywhere for a fly swatter and nobody has them. I have tried using my flip flops but the flies are just too fast for the shoe slamming towards them. I find myself thinking, "Wait 2 or 3 days, then they'll slow down a bit and be easier to kill......." I'm trying to be patient but I need a fly swatter now!

Out of desperation I finally stopped at a Walgreen's pharmacy today and asked the cashier if they carried any. I informed her I looked on the mop aisle where they are typically kept and found nothing. Much to my dismay she replied that IF they had any they would be by the mops. She then went on to tell me that fly swatters are a seasonal item and they only order them once a year. Once they are out, they are out. Sold, zilch, gone.

Nearly every household in America has a fly swatter..........so why can't mine?

Why must finding a fly swatter be so difficult?!

Spirits of 66

These days I find myself in the town of Claremore, OK. While my husband and I travel around throughout the year to new destinations I enjoy picking up postcards here and there and sending them to loved ones.

As I made my way through Claremore last week I continued to pass a store called "Spirits of 66". Claremore sits on the famous Route 66 and I figured they would have nostalgia for everything Route 66, including postcards.

I finally decided to stop in today and browse around the store to see what nostalgic items they had. I was certain I would find exactly what I needed at that store, whether it be postcards or at least a souvenir. I pulled into the parking lot and just so happened to glance in the windows of the "Spirits of 66" store and made the instant connection. All I saw was bottle after bottle of liquor lined up on the shelves. I seem to frequently forget that "spirits" around these parts refers to "liquor". How wrong I was thinking that "Spirits of 66" might possibly be referring to the history and memorabilia of Route 66.

What was I thinking...........LOL!

Stuck in a Hard Spot

My husband and I relocated to a new town yesterday and we are in Northeast Oklahoma. As it is with any new place we travel to I like to take in my surroundings. This was my first morning in Oklahoma and after rising from a fitful night of sleep I set about opening the trailer blinds to let in the sunshine.

I came to the large living room window at the back of the trailer and raised the first accordion style blind and then went to move the second. I was viewing the scene before me when I noticed some strings hanging towards the bottom of the raised blinds. I couldn't imagine what might have torn the fabric on the blinds to create frayed strings so I leaned closer to examine them. I automatically raised my hand and gave one of the strings a slight tug and immediately drew my hand back. What I thought was a string was in fact not a string at all. I cautiously pulled the blinds down a tad and took notice of the spider body stuck between the accordion blinds. I had just tugged on a 3 inch spider leg. The only thought running through my head was, "WHAT? How did that get in the house?" My eyes were wide and my heart had definitely picked up its pace as I realized I had a freakishly large spider in the house. My imagination was running wild.

When I pulled the blinds up this morning that spider must have gotten stuck between the accordion style flaps and was being held prisoner. I watched in horror as the spider began moving and twitching his legs around. I was running through all possible scenarios of how to get rid of this spider and it was nearly making me sick.

Worst case scenario was that the spider would drop from the blinds and fall behind the couch and I did NOT want a loose spider on the run. I knew I had to get a grip.

I pulled the blinds down just a tad and could make out the spiders body. I fought back my feelings of heebie-jeebies and grabbed a tissue. Before pulling the blinds down all the way I used the tissue to grab the spiders legs that were sticking out from the blinds. Once the legs were secured in my firm grip I opened the blinds and pulled the spider out. The body of this long legged spider looked like a brown, fat tick. You almost would have thought it was some kind of mutant tick thing if it didn't have legs and 2 noticeably large fangs.

I stared at the spider being held captive in my hand and knew I needed to discard of it. I was nearly making myself queasy thinking of that spider running around in our home. I took it outside, wrapped a paper towel around it and used every ounce of strength to roll that paper towel into a ball feeling confidant the spider had been squished. I left the rolled up paper towel of a spider on the front bumper of my husbands truck.

Oh, heaven help me.......

Donut Demolition

I have been in Rusk, TX for a little over 4 weeks now and have marvelously resisted the urge to snatch a donut at the local shop. I pass by the donut shop nearly every day while I am out and about and have managed to curb my desire for donuts.

However, this morning found me desperately craving the sweetness of maple frosting smothered over a delicious donut. I jumped in the car and was practically on autopilot as I headed towards the donut shop. I made my way around the last bend of pine trees and prepared to make my turn into the drive for the shop. I came to an abrupt halt when I was met by dumpster trucks and bulldozers surrounding what used to be the donut shop. The word "CLOSED" was written in paint all over the windows. My little donut spirit began to crumple as my hopes were crushed. I needed a donut and the shop I went to was being demolished. What are the odds?!

So I put the car in reverse and drove to the second donut shop in town. Good thing I had a backup. LOL!

You Looking at Me

I am so embarrassed.

It is bad manners to stare and yet I feel like I have two unruly children who would rather do nothing than stare at our neighbors.

If our neighbors happen to be outside when I take the dogs out for a bathroom break their bad manners come to light. Two of our dogs will forget what they need to be focusing on and will stand at the edge of our grass and just stare at the neighbors. There are no wagging tails, no smiles on their faces, just two dogs that stand there on all fours and show a blank look while they stare at people.

I put myself in the neighbors shoes and wonder how I would feel knowing someone (or something) was staring at me. I think I'd feel rather awkward.

These two dogs in particular keep me on my toes and I am constantly trying to mend their bad habits.

I know I definitely didn't teach them this. I at least remain unseen when I am peeking through the blinds at the neighbors. LOL!

Where Everybody Knows Your Name

Small towns. That is what this story is about.

I'm currently staying in a small town way out in East Texas and although I have driven through the town on many occasions I haven't visited all the stores that piqued my interest. After staying in our trailer day after day I reminded myself that I needed to get out and see new things.......even if I did have to go it alone.

As I drove around all four blocks surrounding the courthouse downtown I ran into a problem. I would find a store I wanted to nose around in just to see what they had and of course upon entering I would find that I was the only customer in there. Not only would the proprietor look up and see me walking around but they would also see me leave empty handed. When asked if I needed any help I found myself repeating, "Oh I'm just browsing, thank you."

I had noticed there were some artful window hangings in one of the pharmacy's downtown and I thought I would pop in to see what kind of trinkets they had for sale. The other pharmacy downtown has a gift store attached to it but this particular pharmacy that I walked into was nothing more than........well, a pharmacy. As soon as I entered I wanted to walk out but as I was the only one in there the ladies behind the counter took notice of me and offered a friendly greeting. No chance of escape now, especially when the door behind me wouldn't shut and I had to force it to close drawing more attention to myself. I figured the least I could do was pretend to look at something. The item of choice - Aloe Vera. I picked up the bottle and examined it pretending I had at last found what I was looking for. (Heaven knows I wasn't going to pay that price for it though.) After a minute or two had gone by I figured that enough time had passed by since entering the store and I could safely leave the store without any awkwardness of not purchasing anything. I placed the item back on the shelf and left just as quietly as I had entered.

I feel so awkward when I'm the only one in a store wandering around the aisles and such. How am I supposed to blend when there's no one to hide behind?! I feel so conspicuous.

Small towns.......definitely not the place for a mystery shopper. LOL!

The Willies

I was out and about dumping the trash this morning when I came across something that not only made me jump but shudder as well.

I had tossed the trash into the dumpster and was making my way back to the trailer through the pine trees when I noticed something on the ground directly in my path. From a distance it looked brown and hairy and I jerked my knee up and sidestepped over whatever it was in a choppy sort of motion so as not to step on it. I walked a few more feet before curiousity got the best of me and I had to know what it was. I retraced my steps and peered down at the brown thing. My fears were confirmed. I was staring at the biggest and hairiest brown spider I've seen in Texas yet. Aughhhh!

I leaned down for a closer look and the spider didn't move. His hairy, long legs were outstretched and I didn't know if it was alive or playing dead so as to catch an unsuspecting grasshopper. I fearfully swallowed and grabbed for a stick nearby. The first one I picked up was only about 6 inches long and that was not enough for me. Heaven only knew if that spider was a jumping spider and I didn't want it jumping on me! I traded in the runt of a stick for a longer one and mentally prepared myself for what I was about to do. (AKA-plan my escape route in case he came running after me.)

I got as close as I dared and gently touched the spiders leg. No movement. I poked his abdomen with the tip of the stick and still nothing. While I moved the stick around the spider trying to get a reaction I was a nervous wreck on the inside. My heart was ready to seize up with fear, waiting for the spider to jump to life and scare me silly.

After moving him around with the stick and leaning in as close as I dared I came to the conclusion that he was very much alive. My heart jumped to a fast paced rythem as I threw down the stick and got my feet in motion for home. I shuddered as I thought about that spider and how he was probably laughing at how scared I was......gives me the willies!

As I made my way down the road towards the trailer I was so preoccupied with freaked out frantic thoughts of that spider that when I noticed a shadow on the ground coming towards me I nearly jumped out of my skin. I jerked my whole body from left to right in one swift motion and wound up clear on the other side of the road.

Never has a butterfly scared me so much. HA!

Hopefully the people nearby didn't see my display of jerky body movements. They no doubt were unable to see the insects I was dealing with that would stir such a reaction in somebody and probably thought I was going into convulsions or on my way to a seizure.

Heaven help the spider that finds its way into my trailer.

Flight of the Butterfly

I was out in the backyard with the dogs this afternoon when I noticed something shiny over in the grass. Upon closer examination I realized it was a torn up baggie of some sorts. Not wanting the dogs to consume what they had clearly already shredded I picked up the pieces. As I was down on the ground level I couldn't help but notice the mountain of dog poop nearby that one of the dogs had so nicely disposed of. I wasn't quite in the mood to pick up their poops right then so I gathered what was in my hand and went to throw it away.

The weather had been so pleasant today that I decided to walk around the yard with the dogs a bit before heading in for good. I meandered around the grass enjoying the sunshine warming my skin and the breeze blowing through my curls when I saw a butterfly out of the corner of my eye. I slowed my movement so as not to startle it and admired his orange colored wings fluttering in the breeze. Apparently the breeze was a mite too much for him at the moment and the butterfly stopped for a break. He landed on the mountain of poop!

I gasped in shock as I watched in horror as the orange butterfly sat directly on top of the poop pile and opened and closed his wings. Never in all my life have I seen a butterfly land on dog poop. Butterflies belong on trees, flowers and bushes.......not dog poop!

I could hardly believe what my eyes were seeing and leaned in for a closer look. That's when the butterfly launched itself off of the mountainous pile of dog poop and landed on my shirt. Pahhhh! Yuck.

What's this world coming to? LOL!

My New Whistle

I have been suffering from a terrible cold over the past week and let me assure you it has been no kind of fun. The Kleenex have been flying to the left and right and my nose could give Rudolph some serious competition.

My husband has put up with me rather well through all of the nose blowing, coughing, clearing of the throat, and pill popping at night. I'll admit, I sound more like a foghorn at times rather than a gentle rustling breeze when I blow my nose and although he has made a few comments about my nose while I've been sick there are times I just can't help but laugh at his antics.

Last night he gave me one more reason to laugh. We were lying in bed and I decided I had better blow my nose one more time before turning out the lights. I did so and as I leaned back into my pillows, taking comfort in the fact that it was finally time to let my body rest, I let out a contented sigh. However, that was not all that came out. Due to the stuffy nose I've been battling in order to at least breathe comfortably I forced the air from my lungs to plunder through my nose and out came a slight whistle of air. I figured I was the only one who had heard my nose whistle but it wasn't to be.

My husband rolled over from his side of the bed where he had been petting the dogs and with an ornery grin on his face said, "You're going to have the dogs going crazy if you keep that whistle up. They're gonna think you have a dog whistle."

Oh I was rolling in laughter! What tune shall I whistle out tonight........? LOL!

Broke Back

Ever since I was a little kid I've picked up change lying on the ground. I suppose I've just got a knack for finding change. Little did I know that one day the act of picking up change could be hazardous to my health.

We spent the weekend at Disneyland and I'll admit I found my fair share of change over our 3 day stay there. However, on the first day at Disneyland we left the park late in the afternoon so we could check into our hotel. My feet were tired from walking all day but I gathered up my belongings from the car and prepared to trudge up to the 3rd floor where our room was located. I was loaded down with a duffle bag, my purse and a 24 pack of water as I made my way across the hotel parking lot. I was shuffling across the lot when I saw a dime lying on the ground directly in front of me. In the back of my mind I knew I should have kept my momentum up and continued on my trek towards the elevator but my mind was determined to pick it up despite my heavy load. I bent down to pick it up thinking it would be an easy snag but my legs had something different to say. Little did I know that one move was going to bring me to my knees!

After walking around Disneyland all day my legs were in much need of a rest and I hardly had the strength to push myself back up on my feet............especially with the shifting weight of my load I was carrying. They crumbled underneath me, so there I sat crouched in the middle of the parking lot, dime in hand. I tried to pull myself together and muster up enough strength to stand up. You should have seen my legs wobble. It felt like all the muscles in my legs and back were trembling. LOL!

I was laughing hysterically at the thought of what I must have looked like. I couldn't suppress the giggles and laughed myself the rest of the way across the parking lot, up the elevator, down the hall and into our room. I can only imagine what I must have looked like.

Talk about broke back. HA!

Icee Malfunction

I have been deprived of a good Icee for a few months now so you can imagine how excited I was to see that old familiar ICEE sign at the local Target.

I threw caution to the wind and jumped in line to buy what held the object of my affection......at the moment. My first clue that I should have stayed away was the $1.25 price smacked onto the shot glass sized cup. I could have been patient and waited for my sister to take me to a QT gas station for a larger cup at a smaller price but the rotating red liquid behind the machine had me captivated. I ordered two and as my brother and I walked up to the ICEE machine I could almost taste the cherry sweetness. I don't even remember who went first but whatever landed in my cup caused a near explosion.

I carefully matched the domed lid up to the spout and pulled the lever for the cherry. Out it came in all its frozen glory and after topping it off I scooted off to the side. All of a sudden melted ICEE came spewing out of the top of my lid and poured down my hand. ICEE began bubbling up and like an avalanche it came rolling down the lid onto the counter and all over me. The only thing running through my brain was, "What in the world? How do I get it to stop?!"

I don't know what kind of gaseous bubbles of ICEE were in the bottom of my cup but they came spewing out like a volcano. What a mess! I can only imagine what the people around me were thinking as they watched me from the nearby line. I felt like saying, "It wasn't me, it was the ICEE!"

Not only did I get an explosive ICEE experience but I also had red hands the rest of the evening. That's some strong Red 40 dye. LOL!

Talk About Bold

One of my dogs has found a new love in barking at squirrels. They run high above on the power lines and cling to the trees. When Abbie sees a squirrel it's as though she gets a one track mind and can't help but focus on anything but the squirrel. As I was getting ready this morning it didn't take long before I heard a ruckus of barking coming from the backyard.

I stormed out the door and over to the corner of the yard where Abbie was barking and found the culprit about 10 feet up on the power line. I don't mind if Abbie watches the squirrels but the barking I try to curb. I took hold of her collar and made her sit. While I was reprimanding Abbie for her "bad behavior" the squirrel was watching everything with a close eye and do you know what he did? He laughed at us! I tell you it sounded like he was outright laughing at us. Talk about ornery!

I stood there in mild shock with my mouth dropped wide open and one hand resting on Abbie's head as I stared in disbelief. That squirrel was chattering away like nobody's business. I couldn't believe that the squirrel had the nerve to be so bold.

I'm starting to believe that the squirrels get some kind of sick enjoyment out of tormenting the dogs down below. LOL!

Moonlight Madness

My husband and I were in the basement last night and as I was lying on the couch I happened to glance up towards the window. Through the curtain I was able to make out the moon and couldn't get over how bright it was. I marveled about how bright it was shining and I insisted my husband pause what he was doing and come take a look. It was amazingly white and it was lighting up the whole window!

After he looked at the window he gave me a sheepish smile and said three simple words, "That's the streetlight." I didn't think for a moment that it could have possibly been the streetlight. All I could focus my thoughts on were the moon. I decided I needed a closer look and shot up off the couch. I went directly to the window and pulled back the curtain. Much to my dismay I saw a white streetlight blazing in the dark night for all to see.

I guess I forgot that my husband has lived in this house for over 24 years and probably knows more about it than I do. Just a minor detail. LOL!

That's one large step for mankind...................and one small step backwards for me.

Locked Away in the Dungeon

It was 3a.m. when my eyes popped open and my bladder was screaming at me to release the floodgates. I figured I better not ignore that feeling and carefully navigated my way to the edge of the bed.

My feet landed on the floor and I stood up cautiously hoping to not step on any 4 legged family members down below. I was in complete darkness and although my eyes were WIDE open I couldn't see a thing. I immediately threw my arms out in hopes of finding the door but boy was I way off track. I had my hands plastered on the wall, feeling my way down until I finally met the door. I grabbed the handle and pulled but the door didn't open. I did it again. Nothing budged. I tried again, over and over and yet still got nowhere. I was starting to panic thinking someone had locked us in the basement bedroom. (Probably didn't help that my husband had shoved the sofa in front of the door and locked me in the room earlier that day. Pahhh!)

I continued my struggle with the door, 2 hands on the doorknob, as my mind reeled with thoughts like, "Oh my gosh, somebody locked us in. We're stuck....." I just couldn't get the door to budge.

Finally, by some miracle, I pushed the door rather than pulled and it opened just a hair before my momentum pulled it back shut. THAT'S when I remembered the door was a push to open, not a pull to open. LOL!

Mixer Mayhem

Oh how I look forward to the day when I finally have the mixer of my dreams.

I decided to make chocolate cream cheese cookies this afternoon and got out a bowl and my mixer along with all four of the ingredients needed. The hand mixer worked to perfection while mixing the cream cheese and butter and no protests came when I added the egg to the mixture. I thought to myself, "This is going to be a breeze."

I then began adding 1/3 of the cake mix at a time and THAT'S when it began to choke up. I listened to the mixer as it seemed to be mechanically struggling to mix the thick dough all together so I turned up the power. The bowl began to fly around the counter and I quickly latched onto it as I tried to manhandle the mixer. I leaned over the dough, wishing the dry ingredients would mix in properly when I began to smell something. As I willed the mixer to power up I began to smell that all to familiar burning smell. I'm not talking about overcooked food......I'm talking burning electrical equipment.

I was putting my hand mixer through hardcore boot camp with this dough and I wasn't prepared for its next move. As I was trying to prevent my hand mixer from burning up I watched in wide eyed horror as the dough worked its way up the mixer and swallowed the blades whole! Cookie dough began flying off the mixer in all directions. It's like my mind was frozen as I watched open mouthed while all of this happened and then I snapped out of it and quickly reached for the off button. As I surveyed the damage I was amazed I came out untouched. However, the walls, floors and counter weren't as lucky. They were given a nice chocolate brown spackling job.

This dough took a beating from me and the cookies turned out looking none the better. Instead of beautiful round looking cookies they look like a bunch of scraggly cow plops. Pahhhh!

Couch Credentials

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to get a couch cover on, really it doesn't. Today however proved more challenging and perhaps I COULD have used the help of another.

I was forced to wash our couch cover yesterday due to unforeseen events (no thanks to Abbie) and it was dry by morning so I decided to put it back on the couch. Perhaps I should say, I attempted to put it back on the couch. I was alone and doing the best I could but for some reason it just wasn't looking right. I would struggle on the left and then struggle on the right, aiming to get the lines to meet up just right. After about 10 minutes of an endless battle I finally took a step back and tried to regroup my thoughts. Why wasn't this couch cover going on easy?

It was at that moment that it dawned on me.......I needed to look for the tag. I remembered when I took the cover off yesterday in search of the washing directions the tag was on the backside of the couch cover. With that fresh thought in my head I began lifting up the couch cover and noticed I had the tag in the front of the couch. No wonder it wouldn't fit right!!!

The tag is always in the back. How could I have looked past that minor detail?!

Being reminded of this helpful tidbit will now make it a breeze when placing the cover on the couch and I can wow my husband with my amazingly fast couch cover skills.

Don't need a degree for this one. LOL!

Lick of Death

I took all 3 dogs out this morning and all of them headed for 1 spot in the middle of the yard. It's a rarity for all 3 of them to be honed in on the same place at once so I knew something must be up. I immediately went to investigate and found a tidbit of butterscotch looking poop under some debris. I believe it had been "placed" there earlier by one of our dogs, Benny, when my husband let him out earlier in the morning.

I attempted to shoo them away from the poop but they were determined to get a nose full of he butterscotch mousse looking poop. As soon as I saw Benny and Abbie's tongues pop out to start licking the poop I knew there was going to be trouble. I hastily grabbed their leashes and pulled them away as fast as I could before my fears came true. Unfortunately I didn't move fast enough because it appeared to me as though Abbie had gotten a good solid lick in and was mulling it over across her tongue before swallowing.

Upon reaching her I grabbed her snout and pulled it close to see if she had actually gotten a bite of the poop and my fears were confirmed. She smelled like a fresh poop. Before I could unhand her snout she leaned forward and licked me right on the lips! I thought I was going to die right there on the spot.

I couldn't reach the soap fast enough after getting inside..........

Wounded Woes

I think I've nearly reached my breaking point today.

Ever since we set foot in Texas I have been battling it out in the elements. I have suffered constant mosquito bites, 30+ welts a day is a common occurrence now, I have a bruised welt on the back of my calf from the dogs lead line being pulled against my skin, and I have now radically torn up my heels.

Rather than wear my usual flip flops this morning while I took the dogs for a walk I decided to wear some flat tennis shoes..........with no socks. Two blocks into our walk I knew I was in for trouble. I was faced with two options, continue walking in the shoes or go without and walk the glass littered streets barefoot. (Had I known the end result I would have gladly walked barefoot the rest of the way home.)

After trudging on with pain shooting up my heels we finally reached the house. I glanced down expecting to see some red spots from rubbing but was unfortunately slapped in the face with the reality of damage I had caused. I had a handful of blisters and some very sore spots where the skin had been rubbed raw, and I mean really raw.

Oh woe is me....................I need a hammock, flip flops, and bug spray stat. LOL!

Squirrel!

I take it back. I take it all back.

The other day I was commenting to my husband about how I would love it if we had a squirrel in our tree that stands behind our trailer. The branches hang right along our windows and I explained to him how much I would love watching a squirrel run along the branches.

Well, I had just gotten back from taking the dogs on our morning walk today when I hooked them on the longer lead lines so they could have a little extra play time in our back area. They were enjoying themselves when all of a sudden Benny let out a cry of excitement and began barking. I looked up just in time to see a squirrel skirting from one branch to the next as he made his way across our lot. Thankfully he got lost in the trees but that didn't seem to stop the commotion on the ground. Despite the fact that Abbie had no idea what Benny was barking at she decided to join in. The excited whining coming from the two dogs was almost too much to handle. Especially when one of them didn't even have a clue as to what the excitement was for in the first place.

I don't want a squirrel anymore. LOL!

Full of It

I was out walking one of the neighbor dogs yesterday when we reached our destination.......the green patch. He mosied around and took care of his #1 duty a few times but I wanted to wait and see if he'd take care of his #2 as well. (He's notorious for dropping on the pavement as we're walking home.)

I didn't have to wait too long before he struck a pose and performed a rare arc of poops. I don't know why he feels he has to walk around when he's taking a load off but he does. Well, like the good dog walker I am I had a bag ready to go for pick-up. As the last drop fell I automatically bent down to retrieve the "goods" and I had barely picked up the second chunk when I was peppered with grass and dirt. You know how dogs like to kick up the grass after going to the bathroom? I apparently didn't give him enough time to finish his "dance of victory" and I got caught in the firing line. I was covered in a duststorm of dead grass and dirt flecks. I looked at the dog just in time to catch the smile he was sportin' on his face.

He's so full of it. LOL!

Trailer Tragedy

I'm going on my 3rd week of trailer life and I'd like to think I've adapted to it pretty well. I'm getting used to the smaller space and smaller compartments but last night in the shower I seemed to hit a slight speed bump.

As I was washing up last night I somehow managed to bump into the shower door. My weight banged into the door making it sound like it was about to open. I may have rattled the door a bit but at least it didn't open all the way. Talk about a close call! I was momentarily thrown off my balance after bumping into the shower door and would have stumbled onto the floor had the door fully opened. I can imagine the shock all 3 dogs would have gone through as they were all lying on the floor upstairs around the shower. I would have bounced off the bed and fallen to the floor, sprawled out in all my glory, wet and soapy, and I can just imagine the fear that would have lit their eyes.

No doubt they'd need therapy after seeing something like that. LOL!

Laundromat Love

This going to the laundromat twice a week is turning into a real love/hate relationship. On the rare occasion I get the laundromat to myself, consisting of 4 washers and 4 dryers, I am able to throw 3 or 4 loads in the wash at once. However, when it's time to pick them up after each load has had time in the dryer..........that's 3+ loads I have to fold all at once!

On one hand it's nice to be able to get all my washing done at once, but on the other hand it's a downer to see such a huge heap of laundry sitting on my bed staring at me while it waits to be folded. At least with a house you can time your loads so you have a little breather in between folding loads.

When it's time to pull out my loads I prefer to save myself trips and pile all of my dried wash into one huge red bag. (Two of me could fit in this bag.) I sling it over my shoulder and trudge to my car with who knows how many pounds of clothes weighing down on my back. I'm sure any day now the kids around here are going to start calling me Mrs. Claus.

Trust me kids, you don't want these panties. LOL!

Calm and Soothe, Coming Right Up

Now that I'm living in a trailer out on the road I've had to forgo the convenience of having a backyard and all the luxuries that provides. With 3 dogs in the trailer I decided it would be best to get them on a routine as soon as possible and every morning after they eat I've been taking them on a walk. Yes, all 3 at once. Normally this isn't a problem but today was no ordinary morning. You see, we had a visitor under our trailer that I had no knowledge of.

I had barely stepped off the front steps when Abbie and Benny got jacked up over something they saw towards the front of our lot and I had to forget locking the trailer door and focus on managing those 2 hooligans. As their hackles went up and whines and barks increased I noticed who the culprit was. A little rabbit went darting out across the street. Talk about timing. It couldn't have been worse. Pahhhh!

I led all 3 dogs to the back of our lot so they could calm down after that bit of excitement and I wound up having to force one of my dogs to the ground. I couldn't believe how worked up Abbie had become over that little rabbit as she has never paid any attention to them before. I watched as her back legs would quiver every 30 seconds or so and I waited her out until her spasms were done.

I tell you what, those soothing and calming pills I've seen at PetSmart are looking better and better with each passing day. LOL!

Flushed Away

Living in a trailer is not without its quirks. I've been living in this trailer about a week and a half and I'm still learning the ins and outs of what every knob, switch and lever does exactly. When my husband asked me if I could "flush the black tank" I immediately quirked an eyebrow and questioned his question about what it was exactly he wanted me to do. He explained that when the toilet starts to bubble up when you go to flush it, the black tank (which holds all that lovely stuff we send down the toilet) is telling you it's time to drain it, aka-releasing it into the city sewer. After a thorough explanation of what it was I was supposed to do I told him I'd get it done.

Well time flew by during the morning activities and I pushed the black tank flushing to the afternoon and figured everything would still be sitting idle down there and it would be okay. I happened to use the bathroom this afternoon and I was reminded of what I still needed to do with the infamous black tank. As I placed my foot on the lever to flush the toilet, bubbles from down below came bursting forth with gusto and sent the toilet water flying a good 2 feet in the air. Never have I seen spray like that come flying out of a toilet and you can imagine my horror as I yelped and plastered myself against the furthest wall in the miniature styled bathroom. After disinfecting the toilet and walls I figured it was time to flush the black tank and send its contents on its way. After seeing that water rocket out of that toilet I will never again put off flushing the black tank.

Can you imagine if you were doing a double duty and flushed the toilet while you were still sitting down and that happened? Oooooh man! No thanks.

When my husband got home I told him what happened and he went on to tell me that when you're dealing with a full black tank you should always flush it slowly. Of course. Thanks for the heads up babe. Pahhhh!

Oil Spill

My husband and I just recently arrived in Austin, TX and have already found it to be a humid breeding ground for bugs. I decided that I didn't want to take a chance with our 3 dogs and bought some flea/tick/mosquito killer. Now, you're supposed to run the tube along the dogs back, from their shoulders to their tail but I think that's easier said than done. The oil seemed to get more on their hair than on their skin. Of course I learned this on the 3rd dog and halfway through the run I started working from the tail up.

Now it looks like all 3 dogs have an oil slick running down their spines. Talk about greasy hair. LOL!

Oh man, I'm about to die from gas inhalation.................from my dog!

Avalanche

I was out shopping with my mom and sister today when I happened to glance out my passenger side window. Now for those of you who don't know me here's a little tidbit of info: I am quite the car aficionado. I can spout off most makes and models with just a glimpse of the vehicle.

Anywho, as I looked out my window I noticed a truck driving beside us in the next lane over and I recognized it as a Chevy Avalanche. (At least that's what it looked to be.) The truck was much lower to the ground and when I glanced down at the name of the vehicle on the drivers door it looked like it said "RVlanche". I looked at my sister with a look of shock on my face and told her how I couldn't believe Chevy made a similar model to their Avalanche and called it an RVlanche. Never had I heard such a goofy thing.

After I filled my mom and sister in on how preposterous this name change was I quickly looked out my window for a second look. I started to say, "I mean look at that. It says RVa.........." and the rest of the words got caught in my throat. I realized it wasn't an "R" that was starting off the name of the truck but an "A".

In my defense I'd just like to say that Chevy's "A" looks very similar to a letter "R" and I thought they had made some major spoof off of one of their models. LOL!

Seek and You Will Find

The other day I was laying on the couch enjoying a good book when I reached for my bookmark to save my page. My hand came back empty and I was quite befuddled. My eyebrows shot up in confusion as I tried to figure out where my bookmark had gotten to. I quickly ran my hand around the top of the couch, as I was still laying down, feeling for it and searching for where it was hiding. All to no avail.

I then jumped off the couch and tore the cushions apart in search of my bookmark and yet I still found nothing. Confusion hit as I really had no idea what happened to my bookmark. It seemed as though it had vanished. I was clueless as to what happened to it.

About 10 minutes later as I was folding some laundry in the bedroom, I was still going on about where in the world that bookmark could have gotten to when my husband looked at me and said, "What is that?" I took note that he was looking directly at my chest and do you know what I found? (Other than those, LOL!) My bookmark! It was clinging to the inside of my shirt. Pahhhh!

I have no idea how it worked its way down my shirt or why I didn't feel it earlier but I was so happy to have my bookmark back. (My bookmark is 4 mini pictures of my husband and I.)

I just wanted to hold him close to my heart...................LOL!

Of All the Nerve

I was sitting at my desk yesterday when I received a phone call from a lady asking about our copy machine. That raised a red flag. Our current company that we use got bought out by Ricoh so when the lady said she was with Ricoh I was a little hesitant as to what the purpose of the call was. They NEVER call us, WE call them. Was she legit or was she an impostor working on her sales angle...........?

I peppered her with a few questions of my own using my P.I. skills to try and dig deeper as to her purpose. She asked for the model number on the machine and I thought I'd humor her and go look. I figured if she was legit then she should already have our account information so I was ready to challenge her when I got back to the phone.

I picked up the line and said, "Thank you for holding. Can I ask what this call is regarding?"

Her immediate response was "NO!" followed by a click.

She seemed so astonished that I would dare question her sales call and she responded in a voice that said I had a lot of nerve to talk to her that way. Let her not forget that SHE is the one who called ME. LOL!

Gives me a whole new perspective on the fun you can have with sales calls. :)

Into the Cave

Last night I was standing in the kitchen talking with my sister. I was rambling away when out of nowhere she yells, "You just swallowed a gnat!"

I believe "WHAT?!" was my first comment. She told me she watched as it flew closer and closer around my mouth and yet she gave me no hint that I needed to close my trap. She watched it fly right into my mouth! If I recall correctly my first reaction was a loud shriek, followed by another loud shriek that brought everyone running to see what all the commotion was about. I ran to the sink and swished some water hoping to catch the gnat before he headed into the abyss but no such luck. I never saw it come out. He was gone.

Every now and then I feel like it's clinging to the side of my mouth. This is what I'm left with.....

I thought my sister was genuinely listening to me when really she was just watching me eat bugs.

Thanks sis.

LOL!

Break Neck

I don't know how it happened, but it happened.

I was helping my dad unload a new water heater from the back of his truck. I jumped in to help him out and I got on the other side of the box so we could lift it out of the truck. Somewhere along the line our signals got crossed as to what our game plan was. I thought we were going to carry it to the back of the garage and dad thought we would just set it on the ground and pull it.

As Dad and I slid the water heater out of the truck I had my hands under the box attempting to get a good grip on it so I could carry it easier. Little did I know Dad had already popped the cardboard handles at the top of the box on HIS side. I didn't even know there were handles! So there we were holding the box, very awkwardly if you ask me, and the next thing I knew Dad began lowering his side of the box to the ground and it began to lean towards me at a dangerous angle. I didn't know we were putting it on the ground. Hence the need for a game plan. I was crouched like a frog with my hands placed under the box and as Dad was tipping it towards me the whole box began resting on my neck. My neck was holding up the dumb water heater! He yelled at me to get my hands out and when I did.....TWANG! I thought I broke my neck. LOL! I popped up off the ground clutching my neck, trying to figure out where "WE" went wrong.

If only you could have seen that dismount.

Twilight Zone

Have you ever seen the episode of "Twilight Zone" that deals with the ventriloquist dummies? The one where they come alive and move on their own? Well I have and I feel like I'm living it.

We have a life size cardboard cutout of a man at our house. It came as part of a display from the grocery store my brother works at and somehow it followed him home. This cardboard man has popped up in numerous places around our house, scaring anyone who unsuspectingly comes across him. From my brother's bedroom, to my parents closet, to my brothers backseat in the car. What is so disturbing about this poster cutout is the mans ecstatic face. It's no wonder it startled and scared people upon entering the grocery store. It's creepy.

The cardboard man's latest place of rest has been in our garage. I got startled by him this morning when I opened the garage door to put something away. I thought there was a man in the garage staring at me and it took my breath away. However, it was the second time he scared me this morning that really creeped me out. As I was exiting from the house through the garage door this morning I noticed the man was staring straight at me. I tried to push the image from my mind as I walked past him and hustled on down to the street where my car was parked. As I climbed in the car and turned the heater on I just so happened to glance up at the garage and the cardboard man was now facing the street...............staring straight at me! It sent shivers down my spine. How did that cardboard man with the intense smile get turned around? How was he facing the street when not seconds before he was facing the house?

Major creeper!!! Can you understand why I'm a little rattled about this? I'm sure there has got to be a reasonable explanation about how he got turned around but he has GOT to go.

TONIGHT.

Survival Guide

My sister and I walked into a Harbor Freight Tools store today. I had never set foot in this store before and when I thought of the name I always pictured men and tools.

That pretty much sums it up. Never have I felt so out of place. At least in Home Depot you have room to lose yourself among the aisles and blend in.

I purposefully did not wear heels with my outfit today knowing full well where I was headed on my lunch break. Despite the extra effort to tone down the outfit I was still treated like a princess. Talk about service....................pahhhh.

I was reminded of a few things today while my sister and I traversed the aisles full of men and tools. Something I like to refer to as a Quick Smart Survival Guide for the tool section. They are:

-Do not make jokes or laugh out loud as this kind of behavior draws attention to yourself (and is not appreciated by other members of your group)
-Do not stray from your party/group (strength in numbers.......remember that)
-Avoid direct eye contact unless it is a store clerk that you are trying to flag down (flash a little leg ONLY as a last resort)
-Be direct and to the point (give them an inch, they'll take a mile)

This doesn't mean throw your kindness and womanly gentleness aside but just remember to proceed with caution. Lessons I have once again been reminded of today with the goal set in mind of..........get in and get out!

Trouble Shooting

Wow. All I can say is wow. I came into work this morning and sat at my computer ready to start my day. I moved the mouse to light up the screen and typed in my password to unlock the computer. The next thing I saw was a little box that popped up saying invalid password. I retyped it in I don't know how many times, making sure Caps Lock was off and Num Lock was on. And every time it was the same thing---invalid password.

I was about to go crazy thinking I was going to have to call our IT guy because my computer had a mind of its own and had totally locked me out. Before I called my sister for some trouble shooting I tried one last attempt and typed in my password MINUS the two numbers at the end and WA-LAA. I was in! That was a lucky shot because my finger had automatically hit the Enter key after typing in my "abcdef" password while I was still thinking there were two numbers that were supposed to follow it. Pahhhhh!

So glad I didn't call the IT guy on that one. LOL! Wish I could blame it on not having my morning coffee.............but I don't drink coffee!

Guilty by Evidence

I have to say Oreo's have got to be my most favorite cookie EVER. And I mean that. There is just something about those two crispy chocolate cookies squeezed together and melded together with a little cream. Mmmm!

As I was a ravenous fox this afternoon I grabbed the carton of Oreo's out of my lunchbox and opened them up. I've had them in my lunchbox for a few weeks now but despite the time they've spent in there they were still as fresh as ever. I sat at my desk and nibbled off a bite. I relished in the fact that my taste buds were having a party. It was bliss.

I walked into my sister's office with my second Oreo concealed in my hand and the first words out of her mouth were, "Have you had an Oreo recently?" My first thought was wondering how she knew but I'm no dummy and it didn't take me but a second to realize I must have left evidence on my face. True enough there was just enough chocolate crumbs smeared on my lip for her to make her assumption. Not only did I look like I had a few cavities growing on the side but I had some on my lip. Thank goodness my sister was the only one who saw that.

LOL!

Talk About Timing

I had an itch on the tip of my nose. I finished the task at hand before I finally relented to the itch and lifted my hand to rub it when a client came through the door behind me. I waited until he had walked past my desk and was practically out the front door before I raised my hand to rub my nose. Of course at that exact moment he turned around to wave and say goodbye. I not so gracefully jerked my hand away from nose and waved back with a parting acknowledgment.

He probably thought I was picking my nose. Just great. LOL!

Mountaineer

I am no mountain biker by any means. I ride an older styled beach cruiser that squeaks and whines...........something that has definitely seen better days.

Last night I decided to venture out on a bike ride with my dad and brother. We were riding along the canal, going between paved and dirt roads when we came across some serious washboard looking mounds. I decided to test my bikes ability (as well as my own, wink-wink) and rode over a few of the mounds. They were a little more bumpy than I was expecting and I nearly flew out of my seat as my feet bounced off the peddles! From behind me I heard my dad exclaim, "What are you DOING?" I couldn't help but laugh at what I must have looked like as my Gilligan legs shot out to the sides.

A little farther down my brother and I came to a large hill we wanted to go down that led into a park. Just know that it was very dark out AND there was a lake at the bottom of the hill. My brother tore off on his mountain bike down the hill and I watched as he purposefully came to a fishtailed stop right before the waters edge. I was feeling rather brave and decided to follow suit. Halfway down I decided to do a random brake check. Despite hitting them hard I was still chugging down the hill..............headed directly for the waters edge. Rather than pull a wide arc to prevent riding into the lake I decided to pull my brothers move. Upon nearing the water I slammed on my brakes and felt pleasure race through me as I felt my back tire give a baby fishtail before I came to a complete stop. My brother laughed at the petite sound my fishtail made but I was thrilled just to be on my feet and not on the ground.

With an old beach cruiser like mine, if you don't push, you don't go. I think I had to work harder just to keep up with the boys last night so it's no wonder my legs felt like jello after our 8 mile bike ride. My buns are extremely sore today. I either need to add about 10 pounds directly to my toosh or I need to wrap my seat in bubble wrap.

I think I'll opt for bubble wrap. :)

Flight of the Lemon

I will never again pick lemons at night.

I needed some lemons so I headed out into the dark with my flashlight, a box, and my dogs hot on my heels. They followed me as I went over to our lemon tree and watched as I set my box down. I tucked my little flashlight between my shoulder and neck and shined the light as best I could on the branches near my hand. I grabbed a lemon and started the twist technique. Basically, you twist the lemon until it pops off the branch. Well, that wasn't working so I went to plan B. I started to yank on the lemon in hopes of tearing it from the branch. I thought it was a good plan until a bird flew out of the tree and nearly hit me in the FACE! My heart nearly burst out of my chest and I'm sure I let out something similar to a panicked shriek as I grabbed my flashlight with my hand and tried to find the bird on its disturbed flight to the sky.

Unbelievable. Never again will I pick at night. LOL!