Wednesday, September 28, 2011

There's a Snake in My Bed

I woke up in the middle of the night to find my husband holding the covers of the bed up in the air while he looked underneath. I had no idea what he was doing but soon got concerned when he started talking. Here's how the conversation went:

Him: "What is that?"
Me: "What is it?"
Him: "What is this?"
Me: ...speaking in a panic, "What's under there?" (now thinking that there is a bug or snake in our bed)
Him: ...still holding the sheets up, "This is carbon wire!"
Me: "What?"

I soon realized there was nothing to fear. No spiders, bugs or snakes in the bed. After hearing my husband talk about carbon wire I knew it was safe to roll over and go back to bed.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Five Alarm Fire

I was making some homemade salsa today and as my husband always complains that it is not spicy enough for him I decided to add some fresh jalapeno. I typically make it mild so when I was faced with the jalapeno on my cutting board I didn't know how much to add. I went with half the of the pepper, diced it up into minute chunks and called it good.

While completing the salsa I had to blow my nose so I grabbed a tissue and blew. Immediately my nose felt like it was on fire. My right nostril seemed to have a flame inside that was tearing my nose apart. In that brief moment I couldn't remember whether I'd washed my hands before blowing my nose and knew that the jalepeno heat had set my nostril on fire. I did the only thing I could think of to cool down the growing fire. I grabbed an ice cube and stuck it up my nose.

So here's hoping to an early extinguish on the wildfire that is rampaging in my nose.......as I grab another ice cube out of the freezer and stuff it up my nostril.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Now You See It, Now You Don't

The other day I had the treat of trimming my dogs toenails. I was amazed at how well they did for me. As I was trimming Chloe's nails I was putting the clippings in a nice little pile on the carpet beside me. I finished working on her and got up to go to the kitchen for just a few seconds leaving the pile of nails on the floor. When I turned around Chloe was looking at me sheepishly with those expressive eyebrows of hers. I looked to the floor and noticed the pile of nail clippings was gone, it had disappeared. She'd eaten her nails!

Nothing like a little extra calcium in the morning.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Sweating Bullets

I came home feeling as though I had robbed a bank today.

I visited a favorite antique store in Kansas and found a 1959 kitchen plate that I really wanted to hang in my kitchen. It had something written on it like "This kitchen is ruled with a rolling pin, if you doubt it just start something..." Pretty funny I thought. When I picked it up I noticed there was a price tag on the front as well as the back but they were different in price. One was $7.89 and the other $24.25. I walked up to the front desk to get some clarification on which price stood.

The man and woman behind the counter both looked it over and then the man told me that the 7.89 was just the booth number it came from. The dollar sign in front of the 7.89 was minute but I could still make it out, however I kept my disagreement to myself. I put the plate back on the shelf and continued walking around the store with the plate hanging over my head. I couldn't let it go. After awhile I picked the plate up once more and walked to the front desk.

I am not a person that bickers or questions prices. I normally take it or leave it but I knew the $7.89 was a price, not a booth number. I walked up nervously to the front desk, anxiously awaiting a reprimand for daring to question the employees knowledge of antiques and prices. I felt like I was sweating bullets and all lights pointed on me while I explained to her that no other item in that booth had the number 7.89 and that every piece had #90905 written on it. She pulled out her magnifying glass and took a closer look. She then stated that it did indeed look like a $ sign and she'd sell it for that price. Phew.

No reprimand, no dirty looks, but boy did I feel like I was getting away with a steal. I had a few other items I wanted to purchase but after going through the anxiety of defending my reasoning I wanted to bolt as soon as I'd bought the plate. I zipped out the door and jumped in the car without looking back. I called my sister up and told her I felt like I had just robbed a bank. I was so nervous and felt like I'd stolen something.

I'd gotten away with a steal and lived to tell the tale. If I go back for the other few items I was looking at I think I'll go in disguise.

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Never Say Yes

I ran into an older lady yesterday, that I have met maybe once in my life, and we started a friendly chat. I decided to take a load off my feet and pulled up a chair as we talked about this and that.

The next thing I knew she said something to me that I could not understand. Her voice danced over the sylables in a singsong tune and I couldn't understand a word she'd said. I kindly asked her to repeat herself but the same thing happened. I couldn't make sense of it other than picking up a word or two about "broid" and "towels". I was racking my brain trying to process her words and wondered if asking her a 3rd or 4th time would seem rude. In an act of stupidity I finally said, "Yes" and nodded my head.

"Oh!" she said with a surprised look on her face. I knew I had made a fatal mistake. What had I just said yes to?! With panic running through my brain I quickly said, "Well, maybe not." At that same instant my brain, which was working overtime trying to decipher what was said, put two and two together and I realized she was asking me if I had embroidered the tea towels she had gotten me for our wedding. That was a definite NO and I had to quickly play it off and explain to her that I hadn't embroidered the towels..........yet.

Why on earth do I get myself into these situations?!