Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Talk About Bold

One of my dogs has found a new love in barking at squirrels. They run high above on the power lines and cling to the trees. When Abbie sees a squirrel it's as though she gets a one track mind and can't help but focus on anything but the squirrel. As I was getting ready this morning it didn't take long before I heard a ruckus of barking coming from the backyard.

I stormed out the door and over to the corner of the yard where Abbie was barking and found the culprit about 10 feet up on the power line. I don't mind if Abbie watches the squirrels but the barking I try to curb. I took hold of her collar and made her sit. While I was reprimanding Abbie for her "bad behavior" the squirrel was watching everything with a close eye and do you know what he did? He laughed at us! I tell you it sounded like he was outright laughing at us. Talk about ornery!

I stood there in mild shock with my mouth dropped wide open and one hand resting on Abbie's head as I stared in disbelief. That squirrel was chattering away like nobody's business. I couldn't believe that the squirrel had the nerve to be so bold.

I'm starting to believe that the squirrels get some kind of sick enjoyment out of tormenting the dogs down below. LOL!

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Moonlight Madness

My husband and I were in the basement last night and as I was lying on the couch I happened to glance up towards the window. Through the curtain I was able to make out the moon and couldn't get over how bright it was. I marveled about how bright it was shining and I insisted my husband pause what he was doing and come take a look. It was amazingly white and it was lighting up the whole window!

After he looked at the window he gave me a sheepish smile and said three simple words, "That's the streetlight." I didn't think for a moment that it could have possibly been the streetlight. All I could focus my thoughts on were the moon. I decided I needed a closer look and shot up off the couch. I went directly to the window and pulled back the curtain. Much to my dismay I saw a white streetlight blazing in the dark night for all to see.

I guess I forgot that my husband has lived in this house for over 24 years and probably knows more about it than I do. Just a minor detail. LOL!

That's one large step for mankind...................and one small step backwards for me.

Friday, July 23, 2010

Locked Away in the Dungeon

It was 3a.m. when my eyes popped open and my bladder was screaming at me to release the floodgates. I figured I better not ignore that feeling and carefully navigated my way to the edge of the bed.

My feet landed on the floor and I stood up cautiously hoping to not step on any 4 legged family members down below. I was in complete darkness and although my eyes were WIDE open I couldn't see a thing. I immediately threw my arms out in hopes of finding the door but boy was I way off track. I had my hands plastered on the wall, feeling my way down until I finally met the door. I grabbed the handle and pulled but the door didn't open. I did it again. Nothing budged. I tried again, over and over and yet still got nowhere. I was starting to panic thinking someone had locked us in the basement bedroom. (Probably didn't help that my husband had shoved the sofa in front of the door and locked me in the room earlier that day. Pahhh!)

I continued my struggle with the door, 2 hands on the doorknob, as my mind reeled with thoughts like, "Oh my gosh, somebody locked us in. We're stuck....." I just couldn't get the door to budge.

Finally, by some miracle, I pushed the door rather than pulled and it opened just a hair before my momentum pulled it back shut. THAT'S when I remembered the door was a push to open, not a pull to open. LOL!

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Mixer Mayhem

Oh how I look forward to the day when I finally have the mixer of my dreams.

I decided to make chocolate cream cheese cookies this afternoon and got out a bowl and my mixer along with all four of the ingredients needed. The hand mixer worked to perfection while mixing the cream cheese and butter and no protests came when I added the egg to the mixture. I thought to myself, "This is going to be a breeze."

I then began adding 1/3 of the cake mix at a time and THAT'S when it began to choke up. I listened to the mixer as it seemed to be mechanically struggling to mix the thick dough all together so I turned up the power. The bowl began to fly around the counter and I quickly latched onto it as I tried to manhandle the mixer. I leaned over the dough, wishing the dry ingredients would mix in properly when I began to smell something. As I willed the mixer to power up I began to smell that all to familiar burning smell. I'm not talking about overcooked food......I'm talking burning electrical equipment.

I was putting my hand mixer through hardcore boot camp with this dough and I wasn't prepared for its next move. As I was trying to prevent my hand mixer from burning up I watched in wide eyed horror as the dough worked its way up the mixer and swallowed the blades whole! Cookie dough began flying off the mixer in all directions. It's like my mind was frozen as I watched open mouthed while all of this happened and then I snapped out of it and quickly reached for the off button. As I surveyed the damage I was amazed I came out untouched. However, the walls, floors and counter weren't as lucky. They were given a nice chocolate brown spackling job.

This dough took a beating from me and the cookies turned out looking none the better. Instead of beautiful round looking cookies they look like a bunch of scraggly cow plops. Pahhhh!

Monday, July 12, 2010

Couch Credentials

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to get a couch cover on, really it doesn't. Today however proved more challenging and perhaps I COULD have used the help of another.

I was forced to wash our couch cover yesterday due to unforeseen events (no thanks to Abbie) and it was dry by morning so I decided to put it back on the couch. Perhaps I should say, I attempted to put it back on the couch. I was alone and doing the best I could but for some reason it just wasn't looking right. I would struggle on the left and then struggle on the right, aiming to get the lines to meet up just right. After about 10 minutes of an endless battle I finally took a step back and tried to regroup my thoughts. Why wasn't this couch cover going on easy?

It was at that moment that it dawned on me.......I needed to look for the tag. I remembered when I took the cover off yesterday in search of the washing directions the tag was on the backside of the couch cover. With that fresh thought in my head I began lifting up the couch cover and noticed I had the tag in the front of the couch. No wonder it wouldn't fit right!!!

The tag is always in the back. How could I have looked past that minor detail?!

Being reminded of this helpful tidbit will now make it a breeze when placing the cover on the couch and I can wow my husband with my amazingly fast couch cover skills.

Don't need a degree for this one. LOL!

Friday, July 9, 2010

Lick of Death

I took all 3 dogs out this morning and all of them headed for 1 spot in the middle of the yard. It's a rarity for all 3 of them to be honed in on the same place at once so I knew something must be up. I immediately went to investigate and found a tidbit of butterscotch looking poop under some debris. I believe it had been "placed" there earlier by one of our dogs, Benny, when my husband let him out earlier in the morning.

I attempted to shoo them away from the poop but they were determined to get a nose full of he butterscotch mousse looking poop. As soon as I saw Benny and Abbie's tongues pop out to start licking the poop I knew there was going to be trouble. I hastily grabbed their leashes and pulled them away as fast as I could before my fears came true. Unfortunately I didn't move fast enough because it appeared to me as though Abbie had gotten a good solid lick in and was mulling it over across her tongue before swallowing.

Upon reaching her I grabbed her snout and pulled it close to see if she had actually gotten a bite of the poop and my fears were confirmed. She smelled like a fresh poop. Before I could unhand her snout she leaned forward and licked me right on the lips! I thought I was going to die right there on the spot.

I couldn't reach the soap fast enough after getting inside..........

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Wounded Woes

I think I've nearly reached my breaking point today.

Ever since we set foot in Texas I have been battling it out in the elements. I have suffered constant mosquito bites, 30+ welts a day is a common occurrence now, I have a bruised welt on the back of my calf from the dogs lead line being pulled against my skin, and I have now radically torn up my heels.

Rather than wear my usual flip flops this morning while I took the dogs for a walk I decided to wear some flat tennis shoes..........with no socks. Two blocks into our walk I knew I was in for trouble. I was faced with two options, continue walking in the shoes or go without and walk the glass littered streets barefoot. (Had I known the end result I would have gladly walked barefoot the rest of the way home.)

After trudging on with pain shooting up my heels we finally reached the house. I glanced down expecting to see some red spots from rubbing but was unfortunately slapped in the face with the reality of damage I had caused. I had a handful of blisters and some very sore spots where the skin had been rubbed raw, and I mean really raw.

Oh woe is me....................I need a hammock, flip flops, and bug spray stat. LOL!