Thursday, December 8, 2011

Nut Job

The other night I was feeling a little homesick so I decided to make an old family cake recipe of my grandma's. I had been craving the taste of this simple chocolate cake topped with walnuts and chocolate chips and I set to work creating the cake. From upstairs I was peppered with questions from my husband about what I was doing. He was in bed due to an ailing back that night.

Him: "What are you doing?"
Me: "I'm making a cake."
Him: "What kind of cake?"
Me: "It's a chocolate cake."
Him: "That sounds good."
Me: "It might not be what you're expecting. It's an old family recipe."

Minutes pass by and I bring the cocoa pink cuplets cake out of the oven. I'm still hesitant as to whether he will want a piece so I only cut one, for me, and take it upstairs with my glass of milk. As I walk in the doorway I notice his eyes are searching to see what the piece of cake looks like so I lean the plate down towards him.

Me: "Would you like a piece of cake?"
Him: "No thanks, my stomachs uneasy."
Me: "Okay, that's fine babe. I'll eat it up."
.....a few seconds pass by........
Him: "Can I try a bite of your cake?"
Me: "Sure."
......eating a forkful of cake........
Him: "I don't really care for nuts."

That was all he said and I figured I was going to get the whole cake to myself. After I finished my cake I went downstairs to clean the dishes and when I turned around I noticed he had followed me to the kitchen.

Me: "What are you doing?"
Him: "I think the cake will make me feel better."

Apparently nuts on the cake weren't enough to repel his desire for a piece. He's a nut!

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Turnips & Collard Greens

I was holding up a clothes rack at work today during an uneventful afternoon when one of my 71 year old co-workers came up to me. I was pulling myself out of a daze when I heard her say something about collard greens and white teeth. I kindly asked her to repeat herself and she said to me, "You must eat a lot of collard greens and turnips because your teeth are so white. You have pretty teeth." I think it kind of shocked me at first but I smiled and said thank you in reply.

Little does she know I've never tasted a turnip and I've only had collard greens once in my life. Collard greens and turnips mean white teeth.

Must be a southern thing. HA!

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Mississippi Gumbo

I enjoy eating fish and maybe a shrimp here and there on a rare occasion but that's about the extent of my seafood dining. We were invited over to a couples house after church this evening for some true Mississippi gumbo. I have never experienced gumbo but knew it included plenty of sea life and went with an open mind and an open appetite.

The gumbo smelled tantalizing and I asked her what was in it. A combination of okra, crab, chicken, sausage, shrimp, and a handful of seasonings to top it off. I served myself some gumbo over a few scoops of rice and began my authentic gumbo experience.

I actually enjoyed the flavor of all the ingredients, however, there were a few times when I would look at my spoon and couldn't figure out what I was about to put in my mouth. I decided to stop looking at the spoon and just eat. The combined flavors were warm and tasty.

Nearing the bottom of my bowl I happened to look down at the contents and saw a gray round thing in the remaining gumbo. It was light gray in color and a little smaller than a petite sized pea. I reasoned that it had to have been a seasoning of some sort but all I could think about was a shrimps eye. In my mind I pictured the look on a crawfish cooked whole and how similar they are to shrimp. How many had I already consumed?! My mind was telling me one thing while my imagination was telling me another. I had to push the image from my mind in order to finish the remaining gumbo in my bowl. I couldn't help but nudge the round balls to the far side of my dish and finished off my gumbo.

Despite the mysterious gray balls I truly enjoyed the gumbo.                                              

(Come to find out they were just cooked okra seeds.)

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Uninvited Guest

We just moved to a new trailer park this weekend and as I was sitting at my desk enjoying the fall colors outside my window I noticed some kind of HUGE hornet/wasp thing flying around. He continues landing on the window and flying around the trailer and I'm truly hoping he is not planning on making an extended stay here. I'm already on edge about it and when our dog Benny's foot touched me underneath the desk I nearly went into a spasm thinking I had been stung. I quickly reminded myself that the wasp was outside, not inside.

I can just imagine the trials I would face if he chooses to make a home at our trailer. I see a purchase of wasp and hornet spray in my near future.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Creatures of the Forest

The other night I let my imagination get the best of me.

Benny was pacing and I knew he needed to take an emergency run outdoors. I quickly threw a coat on over my PJ's and headed out with Benny into the dark of night. I clutched the flashlight close to my chest as I listened to Benny munching on grass. Despite a few lights twinkling from the surrounding trailers I felt very alone out there in the black of night and quickly turned the flashlight on. My imagination was running at warp speed with thoughts of what might be out in the woods behind our trailer. The night was alive with forest noises and I swung the beam of the flashlight up into the trees.

I moved the flashlight left to right as I searched the woods, half expecting to see a pair of glassy eyes reflecting back at me, let alone another person out there staring back at me. Just the thought of coming across someone or something watching me out there was enough to set me on a path of freak out mode. I kept the flashlight pointed at the woods letting my imagination get the best of me as I'd throw a cautious look over my shoulder every now and then. As soon as Benny was done we hightailed it inside. I couldn't make it up the trailer stairs fast enough and practically stumbled through the front door.

As if I didn't freak out enough with just the thought of what might be out in the woods I know I would have flipped a lid if I'd actually seen something. Me and my wild imagination!

Monday, October 3, 2011

Three Flights Up

I went downtown today towards City Hall to find the local school district office. Even though I had mailed my resume I wanted to go down there in person and fill out an application. I found the old historic building and parked about a block away. I began my trek to the building and after seeing a man in green and white striped pants sitting nearby I soon realized that the Sheriff's Correctional Facility was connected to the building I was about to go in. I came across two sets of double doors, one reading something about booking and the other reading the name of the building. I shot for the doors that had nothing to do with the Sheriff's department and walked into a large and very empty lobby.

Feeling very out of place I quickly began searching for the directory and found I needed the 3rd floor. Rather than take the elevator I opted for the stairs thinking it would be a healthy choice to hike rather than ride. Upon reaching the 3rd floor stairwell door I realized I was panting ridiculously from the climb and figured I would have a moment to compose myself in a hallway of some sort after exiting the stairwell. Wrong. As soon as I opened the door I found myself standing directly in front of the receptionist's desk with boxes all over the place. I walked in with a look of shock, I'm sure, not expecting to walk right into someone's personal office after exiting the stairs. I looked to the right and there was another prisoner in green and white striped pants emptying the floors garbage cans and spraying down counters. I quickly looked to the woman sitting behind the desk and between panting breaths I asked her if this was the district school office. Needless to say, I was in the right place despite it looking like a makeshift command post for juvenile detention offices.

I was pointed to a small desk in the corner where I was directed to fill out the BLUE application form. When I was finished I handed my application and resume to a blonde lady sitting behind the desk as the previous lady was MIA. As I looked around I noticed that the stairwell I had come up had a huge sign on it stating "Emergency Exit" so I decided I would make a quiet exit and take the elevator down. Feeling as though I stuck out like a sore thumb the skinny elevator doors finally opened and I stepped inside. I stood there staring into the office for what seemed like many awkward minutes waiting for the doors to close. The MIA lady came back to the front desk and asked the blonde, "Did she fill out the back of the form?" Uh, ya, still here, still hearing every word you say about me.

All I can say is that's the last time I try to be healthy and take the stairs. LOL

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

There's a Snake in My Bed

I woke up in the middle of the night to find my husband holding the covers of the bed up in the air while he looked underneath. I had no idea what he was doing but soon got concerned when he started talking. Here's how the conversation went:

Him: "What is that?"
Me: "What is it?"
Him: "What is this?"
Me: ...speaking in a panic, "What's under there?" (now thinking that there is a bug or snake in our bed)
Him: ...still holding the sheets up, "This is carbon wire!"
Me: "What?"

I soon realized there was nothing to fear. No spiders, bugs or snakes in the bed. After hearing my husband talk about carbon wire I knew it was safe to roll over and go back to bed.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Five Alarm Fire

I was making some homemade salsa today and as my husband always complains that it is not spicy enough for him I decided to add some fresh jalapeno. I typically make it mild so when I was faced with the jalapeno on my cutting board I didn't know how much to add. I went with half the of the pepper, diced it up into minute chunks and called it good.

While completing the salsa I had to blow my nose so I grabbed a tissue and blew. Immediately my nose felt like it was on fire. My right nostril seemed to have a flame inside that was tearing my nose apart. In that brief moment I couldn't remember whether I'd washed my hands before blowing my nose and knew that the jalepeno heat had set my nostril on fire. I did the only thing I could think of to cool down the growing fire. I grabbed an ice cube and stuck it up my nose.

So here's hoping to an early extinguish on the wildfire that is rampaging in my nose.......as I grab another ice cube out of the freezer and stuff it up my nostril.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Now You See It, Now You Don't

The other day I had the treat of trimming my dogs toenails. I was amazed at how well they did for me. As I was trimming Chloe's nails I was putting the clippings in a nice little pile on the carpet beside me. I finished working on her and got up to go to the kitchen for just a few seconds leaving the pile of nails on the floor. When I turned around Chloe was looking at me sheepishly with those expressive eyebrows of hers. I looked to the floor and noticed the pile of nail clippings was gone, it had disappeared. She'd eaten her nails!

Nothing like a little extra calcium in the morning.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Sweating Bullets

I came home feeling as though I had robbed a bank today.

I visited a favorite antique store in Kansas and found a 1959 kitchen plate that I really wanted to hang in my kitchen. It had something written on it like "This kitchen is ruled with a rolling pin, if you doubt it just start something..." Pretty funny I thought. When I picked it up I noticed there was a price tag on the front as well as the back but they were different in price. One was $7.89 and the other $24.25. I walked up to the front desk to get some clarification on which price stood.

The man and woman behind the counter both looked it over and then the man told me that the 7.89 was just the booth number it came from. The dollar sign in front of the 7.89 was minute but I could still make it out, however I kept my disagreement to myself. I put the plate back on the shelf and continued walking around the store with the plate hanging over my head. I couldn't let it go. After awhile I picked the plate up once more and walked to the front desk.

I am not a person that bickers or questions prices. I normally take it or leave it but I knew the $7.89 was a price, not a booth number. I walked up nervously to the front desk, anxiously awaiting a reprimand for daring to question the employees knowledge of antiques and prices. I felt like I was sweating bullets and all lights pointed on me while I explained to her that no other item in that booth had the number 7.89 and that every piece had #90905 written on it. She pulled out her magnifying glass and took a closer look. She then stated that it did indeed look like a $ sign and she'd sell it for that price. Phew.

No reprimand, no dirty looks, but boy did I feel like I was getting away with a steal. I had a few other items I wanted to purchase but after going through the anxiety of defending my reasoning I wanted to bolt as soon as I'd bought the plate. I zipped out the door and jumped in the car without looking back. I called my sister up and told her I felt like I had just robbed a bank. I was so nervous and felt like I'd stolen something.

I'd gotten away with a steal and lived to tell the tale. If I go back for the other few items I was looking at I think I'll go in disguise.

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Never Say Yes

I ran into an older lady yesterday, that I have met maybe once in my life, and we started a friendly chat. I decided to take a load off my feet and pulled up a chair as we talked about this and that.

The next thing I knew she said something to me that I could not understand. Her voice danced over the sylables in a singsong tune and I couldn't understand a word she'd said. I kindly asked her to repeat herself but the same thing happened. I couldn't make sense of it other than picking up a word or two about "broid" and "towels". I was racking my brain trying to process her words and wondered if asking her a 3rd or 4th time would seem rude. In an act of stupidity I finally said, "Yes" and nodded my head.

"Oh!" she said with a surprised look on her face. I knew I had made a fatal mistake. What had I just said yes to?! With panic running through my brain I quickly said, "Well, maybe not." At that same instant my brain, which was working overtime trying to decipher what was said, put two and two together and I realized she was asking me if I had embroidered the tea towels she had gotten me for our wedding. That was a definite NO and I had to quickly play it off and explain to her that I hadn't embroidered the towels..........yet.

Why on earth do I get myself into these situations?!

Friday, August 26, 2011

Simply Smashing

This afternoon found myself shopping at a local grocery store with my husband. As we were coming to the end of the aisle I noticed an older man sitting on a motorized grocery cart about six feet away. I didn't want to presume that he was staring at me but he was definitely looking in my direction as he sat there on his cart. At the time I wasn't quite sure what to make of him.

I watched as he continued to stare while simultaneously hitting the gas pedal on his grocery cart and without warning drove himself directly into the end cap on the aisle, smashing into a collection of chip bags. He went all of about three feet. The abrupt halt to his path apparently snapped him out of his trance.

Note to self: don't stare and steer behind the wheel. HA!

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Shocking Discovery

My husband and I are staying at his friends house while we are in town for the next 2 weeks.

It was a rushed trip to this destination and we brought along our hamper full of dirty clothes in hopes of finding a laundromat nearby to wash them. After telling my husbands friend what our plans were for our laundry they insisted that we use their washer and dryer. This morning I decided to knock out the 2 loads of laundry in the basket and quickly set to work throwing a load in the washer. On a side note: the washer and dryer stand directly on top of each other and are located by the back door.

I was going about my business, taking a load out of the wash and putting it in the dryer up above and so on. When it came time to pull the laundry out of the dryer I hesitated opening the door as I knew a few items might fall out. And fall they did. A pair of my shorts and panties went falling towards the floor and landed on top the garbage bin. With arms full I snatched up the items and took them to my room to fold them.

Later in the afternoon the man came home to pick up some lunch and as I chatted with him I told him I was going to let the dogs outside. As I walked past the washer and dryer on my way to the backdoor I noticed a pair of white panties lying between the trash can and the washer. My eyes got big and I sucked in a breath as I realized another pair of my panties must have fallen from the dryer without me noticing it. I was horrified at the thought of the man finding the panties lying there and having to ask me about it. After I let the dogs out I made sure the man was still in the living room and I snatched the panties up and stuffed them into my pocket. I smoothly walked across the living room where the man was and made a beeline for my bedroom.

After getting through the doorway and over to my side of the bed, clearly out of his line of vision from the living room, I pulled the panties out of my pocket. As I held the panties in my hand I noticed a few "markings" on them that I just couldn't place and as I looked for the tag I soon realized that THOSE WERE NOT MY PANTIES!!!

That's when the REAL look of horror passed across my face. The shock on my face from what I had done was priceless. I immediately went into a slight panic as to what I should do. I hardly know these people we are staying with and I wouldn't feel comfortable walking up to her and telling her that I found a pair of her panties lying around. What was I to do?! I wanted to save us both from embarassment. My mind was racing with different scenarios and none of them sounded good. I stuffed the panties back into my pocket, walked through the living room once more and put the panties right back where I'd found them. They'll be cleaning the house today and I'm hoping they'll discreetly come across them at that point.

Oh my gosh, why me?!

Shower Disaster

I am staying in a house that is new to me in every sense.

Our hostess gave me the rundown on the shower which was simple enough. Hot water on the left, cold water on the right. Most older showers are universal, the shower knob is usually placed in between the hot and cold knobs. Before I stepped into the shower I turned the water on and played with the hot and cold knobs until I found a comfortable temp. After stepping into the shower I had to adjust the temperature greatly by reducing the hot water output. As I neared the end of my shower the hot water was nearly turned off completely and despite the cold water being on the shower water raining down was still slightly warm.

I hadn't given it much thought while I was in the shower about how I had turned the knobs off and on. It's practically second nature on how to turn something on and off. As I came to the end of my shower I reached both hands for the cold and hot knobs and turned them to the right to shut them off. However, the water pressure only intensified as the hot water on the left had now been shut off while the cold water on the right side had been turned on all the way. Within seconds I realized that freezing water would probably come raining down on me at any moment and I threw myself towards the wall underneath the shower head where the water couldn't reach me. I grabbed the cold water knob and immediately began turning it to the left to close it.

To my way of thinking that cold knob on the right was backwards. The old standby rhyme of righty tighty - lefty loosey meant nothing to that knob. A right turn on that knob opens the cold water up full throttle. Here's hoping I don't make that same mistake tonight.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Room for Three

I was on my way home this evening when I found myself trailing behind a motorcycle. There was what appeared to be 2 adults and 1 child riding the bike. After looking at the size of the 2 adults there was no way I could rationalize how a child that looked to be no more than 3 or 4 years old could squeeze in behind the woman and why on earth the child would be pushed to the back seat.

I noticed the woman (riding passenger) kept flailing her arms out to her sides as though she was having an animated conversation with the driver of the motorcycle. Every time the motorcycle hit a bump in the road my eyes flew to where the child was sitting on the back of the motorcycle. I watched as the bike bounced up and down with the road and wondered why on earth the 2 adults did not have the foresight to plant the child securely between their 2 booming bodies.

I stared intently where the child was sitting on the back seat and thought about what a wild ride that must have been for one so young. As I began to close the distance between the motorcycle and myself I realized that what I first thought was a child's helmet clinging tightly to the woman's backside was nothing more than the backrest to the motorcycle.

False alert folks. Pahhhhh!

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Hitchhiker

My husband and I will be camping in the Mississippi woods for the next year in our trailer. We've already experienced ants in the trailer and earlier this morning I saw a king-sized daddy long leg hanging on our trailer tire.

I've already had an experience with a daddy long leg of that size in the trailer and I didn't want to take a chance of having another run in anytime soon. I picked up a stick and knocked him flat on the ground.

This morning I decided to try out the camp laundromat. What do you think I found inside but another king-sized daddy long leg sitting on top of someones laundry basket. I shuddered to myself and willingly kept my distance.

As I was leaving the laundry room I felt like something was crawling down the back of my neck. I gave my head a little jerk to shake off the feeling and ignored anything my imagination was trying to put into my head.

I plopped down on the couch when I got home a minute later and began to tell my husband about the laundry room. All of a sudden I felt something on my elbow and looked over to find a huge daddy long leg climbing up my arm. All at once I shrieked and went with my first instinct to swat it away. I know they say daddy long legs are harmless but you wait until those long 4-inch legs are climbing on you with that pinto bean sized body. It gave me the heebie -jeebies, especially when I had to think about how long it had been on me and where it came from.

Had I carried it back all the way from the laundry room?! Oh my gosh......

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Pillow Talk

My husband has a knack for talking in his sleep and last night was no exception. His talking woke me up and I decided to answer back.

Here's how the conversation went......

Him: "Are you? Are you? Say it."
Me: Cautiously thinking about what to say....
Me: "Sure." (pause) "What am I?"
Him: Rolls over and faces me with his eyes open....
Him: "Intoxicated."
Him: Lays back down and closes his eyes.

What?! I buttoned my lips and looked at him nervously out of the corner of my eye. I don't know what he was dreaming about but I didn't want to find out what else he "thought" I was. Pahhhhh!

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Season of the Locust

The other night I opened the back door to let the dogs outside for their evening jaunt before bed. The weather seemed pleasant enough so I stepped outside onto the back porch with Abbie while Benny and Chloe meandered through the grass.

Out of nowhere I immediately began to hear this buzzing noise which could only mean one thing. It's summertime and locusts are abundant. Abbie was quickly upon the buzzing locust nudging it with her nose as it moved to the left and right. I realized I had stepped too close to the locust and before I knew it the bug launched itself into the air at the porch light.

Much to my horror it began to dive bomb me as I jumped around the back patio in my PJ's with my arms covering my head. The locust had no sense of direction and continued bouncing into my head. I have no idea how loud I was yelling but awkwardly made my way to the door and jumped inside.

The dogs didn't seem to mind the buzzing locust as much as I so I let them in one at a time when the coast was clear.

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Lift Off

I was out to lunch with the family today at a favorite burger place. We enjoyed our dinner over lively conversation, paid our tab and prepared to depart.

It's summertime and things tend to stick so as soon as I stood up from my chair I immediately set to work making sure my outfit was still in order, skirt pulled down, blouse tucked in and so on. A woman can never be too careful when it comes to this sort of thing.

Upon standing I quickly ran my hands down the back of my skirt to make sure it was pulled down where it was supposed to be. Everything felt in order so I then moved on to checking the waistline, making sure my skirt wasn't twisted in some weird fashion and my blouse was still tucked in.

Amidst all the quick hand action of making sure I was in order I ran my hands down the length of my skirt once more and realized I had made a hasty mistake. My skirt was slightly bunched up in the back. I believe the panicked words flying out of my mouth were, "Oh my goodness!" as I reached a hand behind me to cover my rear. I was still facing the table when I realized this and immediately spun around to see if anyone sitting behind me had seen something they shouldn't have, all the while grabbing my skirt in the back and pulling it down while saying "Oh my goodness" once again. As I turned around I immediately made eye contact with an older gentleman sitting behind us. He held my gaze with a jolly look in his eyes while his wife sat across from him. He was wearing a grin as he looked at me and I was horrified to think of what I must have looked like.

All I could do was smile apologetically at the poor man. By then my family had all stood up, not knowing what had just happened and trailed behind me as we left our table. I tried to whisper to my mom what had just happened as I cast a glance over my shoulder after walking by and I saw the wife smiling at something her husband told her, noticing also that she was looking in my direction. I wanted to bolt!

I told my family what happened as soon as we walked out the door of the restaurant and my mom said, "Oh, is that why that couple was laughing as we walked by?" Pahhhhh!

Saturday, July 9, 2011

A Feel Good Story

This evening my husband and I were parched and sweaty from being outside in this horrid heat. (Guess that's to be expected when you live in a desert.) We decided to climb in the truck and hit the road to the Circle K, all of 3 blocks. On our way there we passed an older gentleman taking a seat on a fence in the shade. He looked to be heading home with his grocery bag in one hand and his cane in the other.

After getting our drinks and jumping back in the truck we began our short drive home. As we passed down Main Street we noticed that the older man had resumed his walk and was shuffling his feet down the sidewalk. He went about 30 feet and then had to stop for another break.

My husband and I both felt the same as we looked at each other. We turned the truck around and headed back to the gentleman. We pulled up to the curb and I rolled my window down as I offered him a ride home. The giant of a man climbed in with his 6 pack of Coca-Cola and his overly tall cane. At the rate he was walking it would have taken him another hour to get home.

We might have made his night by getting him home faster and more safely, but in all honesty...... he made MY night. :)

Smack Dab

The other day I got hit smack dab in the forehead by a cricket that came sailing out of the AC vent when I turned it on.

This morning when it was turned off I noticed a pair of cricket legs sticking out of the vent. When I went to turn on the vent I made sure I was out of the firing range from any objects that might come sailing out of the AC. As soon as I turned it on the crispy cricket came flying out. Even though I knew it was coming it still made me jump out of the way and into the dresser.

This has got to stop.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Epidemic

I believe we are in the midst of a cricket epidemic.

The other day I turned off the upstairs AC only to hear a squeaky noise coming through the vent. I leaned closer to the vent and couldn't tell if it was birds chirping outside, or a bug, or maybe even just the AC fan making noises.

A few hours later I was upstairs vacuuming and was in need of cool air so I turned on the AC. I had no sooner turned it on when I bent down towards the vacuum and out came a cricket flying from the vent, sailing right past my head and landing on the floor in front of me. I was NOT expecting that and it startled me......just a little bit.

I came to the conclusion that the cricket chirping must have been what I heard in the AC after I turned it off. Unfortunately I continue hearing the noise when the AC is off and all I can do is wonder how many baby crickets are up there.

I seem to find more and more every day. This can not be a good sign.

A Tough Pill to Swallow

The other night my husband and I were out walking our 3 dogs along the railroad tracks.

Abbie, Benny, and Chloe were walking along in front of us when all of a sudden I noticed Abbie had something in her mouth that she must have picked up as she was walking along. I immediately pulled her close and opened her mouth to see what she was chewing on. When I opened her jaws all I saw was a skinny bird leg sticking out from the black abyss of her throat. I started yelling, "No, Nooo, NOOOO!" while she continued attempting to swallow this mangled part of a bird body. In her attempts of swallowing it she bit off one of the feet and I watched as the claw fell to the ground. I think I was still in disgusted shock when my husband kicked it in to action and thrust his finger down her throat causing her to spit it out.

Out popped a rounded part of a bird body with one lone leg sticking out of it. I thought I was going to be sick. My husband threw the bird leg off to the side but apparently it wasn't far enough out of the way as Chloe thought she'd give it a try and picked it up and attempted to swallow it. I just stood there and watched in horror as this little bird leg stuck out of her mouth as she chomped down on it. She was next in line to receive a finger down the throat causing her to spit it out. This time my husband threw the bird leg farther off. After watching Abbie and Chloe struggle with a finger down their throat I think Benny knew better than to even try and attempt picking the bird leg up. Learning by example. LOL!

Just thinking about the bird leg sticking up out of the back of Abbie's throat makes my stomach squirm. I told my husband I would have kicked into action had he not been there.

Thank goodness he was there!

Friday, June 10, 2011

Never Knowing What to Expect

I came to bed last night long after my husband had fallen to sleep. When I finally began to feel tired I carefully tip toed over the sleeping dogs and quietly climbed into bed beside my sleeping husband. After lying there for a few minutes I soon came to the conclusion that I needed to blow my nose before I could peacefully fall asleep. I reached for a tissue and began to softly blow my nose. I felt my husband stir beside me and watched as he rolled over and faced me. With wide eyes he looked directly at my face and mumbled something that sounded like "e-mooo, e-rooo" in a childlike voice and after that he simply rolled back over and faced the wall.

I was in a state of shock with wide eyes of my own as I tried to process what had just happened. At first I figured he had to have been awake with his pointed stare at me but after listening to his gibberish I knew he must still be asleep.

I'll admit, the look of him rolling over and facing me with eyes wide open was a bit unnerving but after the fact I couldn't help but chuckle at the whole episode.

I laid in bed for almost an hour trying to erase the picture of his wide eyes and pointed stare out of my mind. I never know what to expect with this one.........

Saturday, May 21, 2011

First Time Ever.....

There is a first time for everything. Tonight was my night to be disappointed in dinner. No one to blame but myself since I was the mastermind behind it.

I started out with the best of intentions. Placing tender, break apart in your mouth, make your taste buds drool stew meat with a brown gravy over a hot bed of noodles with a side of sauteed zucchini sounded like a golden idea. How fast that opinion can change.

When I peeked in the crock pot this afternoon my heart fell when I noticed the meat was anything but tender. It had the consistency of a well done steak. Very chewy. I decided I would continue with my plans to save dinner and prepared the gravy thickener to place in the broth from the cooking meat. All that accomplished was turning the broth into a light brown pasty looking mess. It was pure liquid and it didn't thicken up as usual. I wasn't about to give up, although I should have known better than to continue, and moved on with dinner.

With the meat chunks and broth in one bowl and the zucchini and noodles adorning the table I called my husband to dinner. Gone were the dinner plates in front of us, replaced instead with soup bowls. The main dish was turning out to be more like a bland soup.

All I can say is that I applaud my husband for eating a portion of the food. The stew meat was a flop and the zucchini was bitter. I can honestly say that the leftovers made it safely into the trash can. The only bonus of cooking a dinner like that is that you don't want to eat it. Perfect if I was on a diet......but I'm not.

Perhaps we'll run out for a "snack" later tonight.

Monday, May 16, 2011

What A Hoot

Out by the railroad tracks there are a group of burrowing owls that have staked a claim on a prime piece of real estate......a corner of chopped up cement. For the past five months I have taken my three dogs out nearby this area to make use of the twig pile which they like to use as their bathroom. I keep the dogs in line and give the owls their respected space while we are out there, not wanting to disrupt the owls.

As I took the dogs out for our usual afternoon outing we were coming around the end of the twig pile that sits closest to the owls domain in the broken cement when all three of my dogs noses went straight in the air. I could see their noses working overtime as they sniffed the air. I saw an owl sitting on a pipe jutting out and figured that was what the dogs were smelling. I thought it of no consequence as the dogs have seen their share of owls out there.

Just as I was reeling the dogs in closer to me I heard this horrid screeching and looked up in time to see a second owl appear closer to us as he hissed and growled at us. I've never heard those birds do anything of the kind and for a moment I feared the bird was going to take flight and claw my face. I could not imagine what we had done to provoke such a response from that bird but I wasn't about to stick around. We hightailed it out of there leaving plenty of room between us and the owls.

Such audacity!

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Pardon.....?

I was nearly to the end of the aisle at the store today when I saw an older couple push their cart past in front of me. I smiled as they went by and noticed the older woman scanning the aisles for an item while her husband casually followed her. Before I knew it I was at the end of the aisle and the older man stopped walking and turned back around to face me. He came up to me with a smile and said something that I couldn't quite make out. Meanwhile his wife stopped pushing the cart and was staring at us expectantly.

For the life of me I couldn't tell if he had Alzheimer's or if he was just a flirty old man. I decided I'd best play along (and play it safe) so as not to hurt any feelings and kindly asked him to repeat what he'd said to me as he looked at me with bright eyes and a smile plastered on his face. He repeated his phrase in Spanish and the only word I could clearly make out was "bonita". He then told me in English that I had very beautiful eyes. What a charmer!

I still wasn't sure if he was all there or not but I humored him and smiled right back telling him thank you. His wife held out her hand to wave him on and I smiled at her and told her she better keep this one on a short leash. :)

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Mudpit Thriller

My friend and I were out by my husbands job site today and located nearby are some mud pits. They are like boiling cauldrons of stew. The mud bubbles up from below and makes volcanoes out of the ground. The hot air bursts through the dried mud and spits and spews the wet slop everywhere.

As my friend and I went exploring around the mud holes you can't help but hear the gaseous bubbles exploding all around you. They sound so strange and it almost makes you feel as though you're walking in someones belly that's filled with gas. We continued our walk, exploring all the mud holes when out of nowhere came a big bee of some sort.

First he flew around my friend which caused her to shriek and run down the mud hill she was standing on. We began moving away from the area thinking the bee would venture off and leave us alone. Wrong. The big bee then began moving from her to me, flying around one of us until we'd wildly wave it away and then it would go bother the other girl. We probably looked hilarious as we shrieked and swung our arms wildly trying to get away from the enormous bee. It was a losing battle and we decided to skedaddle.

However, the bee wasn't done with us. As we made our way across the field towards the car the ornery bee continued to bother us and both of us girls wound up running across the field to get to the car faster, laughing all the way at how goofy each other looked. We jumped in the car and let out a sigh. I turned the AC on to cool down the car and my friend almost rolled her window down but I stopped her in time telling her the bee might be around. Just then ---BAM! The bee dive bombed the windshield. The next time I go to the mud pits I think I might be taking along my Texas sized fly swatter.

Priceless Commodity

I was talking with my friend the other day when she told me about her dilemma. She had been doing laundry in the washroom and she ran out of quarters. The front office was empty and she felt she'd be stuck with loads of wet clothes. I quickly assured her I had quarters to spare and ran indoors for my stash.

As she began pulling her clothes out from the washers I went ahead and loaded up the quarters into the slots for the dryers. (The dryers stack on top of each other and the coin slots are located between the two machines.) After my friend got all her laundry in the dryers she swung the doors shut, placed both hands on the coin levers and pushed them into the machine simultaneously while swinging her hips for added effect. The dryers kicked on with their steady whir and both us girls got caught up in our conversation. I told my friend how I too, enjoy pushing both coin levers in at once and went to reenact the move my friend had just done. (For someone who doesn't really enjoy doing laundry finding simple pleasures in the process can be quite rewarding, as small as that might be.) With my bag full of quarters in hand I walked up to the dryers and pretended to shove both levers back with gusto. At that exact moment my bag full of quarters busted out the seams and down came all my coins, clattering to the floor.

I believe my face had a look of shock on it as I watched my quarters fall to the floor in slow motion. I was desperately hoping that none of my quarters wound up underneath the washers and dryers. Quarters are a priceless commodity around these parts! While I wore a look of panic on my face my friend couldn't stop laughing and we both dropped to our knees and hurriedly gathered up all the loose quarters before someone had a chance to intervene.

Thankfully no coins were lost to the black, dusty encrusted abyss underneath the machines. Perhaps the next time I feel the need to move with gusto I'll make sure my quarters aren't in a weathered Ziploc bag.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Soccer Punch

Soccer punch. And no, I'm not talking about the drink players gulp down on the soccer field.

Last night my husband was complaining about his pillow and how it wasn't cooperating. I told him it was probably due to the 5 soccer punches he threw its way moments before.

"Soccer punches?" he questioned. The lights were out but I could imagine the quizzical look on his face. "What's that? Don't you play soccer with your feet?"

"No," I said. "It's a real move." He then asked me to use it in a sentence and I came back with, "Billy took a soccer punch to the gut."

My husband clearly wasn't buying it and as I rolled over to face the wall he leaned towards me and said, "I think you mean sucker punch." In my defense I'd just like to say that the 2 words "soccer" and "sucker" sound similar.

So what if I've been wrong my whole life......LOL!

Curiousity Killed the Cat

I wish loose dogs were the only thing I had to look out for in this small town trailer park, but alas, I must look out for cats too. One cat in particular that feels he owns the whole trailer park.

The evening air was cool and breezy and with my husband working outside on the other side of the trailer I decided to leave the front door open as I took out the trash. I made sure the screen door was latched behind me and set off for the dumpster. I hadn't made it more than 50ft. when I heard our dogs barking. I turned around right in time to see all the drama unfold.

All at once I saw the trailer park cat running in between our cars, the screen door popped open banging against the trailer as Abbie and Benny raced down the stairs with Chloe on their heels. The dogs were racing between the trailers after the cat and I immediately took off running down the lane as soon as they made it down the steps. I had hopes of cutting them off before they were able to get to the end of the street and exit the trailer park onto the streets of Calipatria.

Perhaps the dogs saw the fire in my eyes but Benny came to me without a fight and Abbie trotted up to me as though she had not a care in the world and she even had the nerve to look like she was smiling. Needless to say, Abbie and Benny were grabbed by the collar and marched back to the trailer. Chloe seemed to do a nervous dance and she ran back to the trailer ahead of us and didn't need to be told twice to get up inside. I've learned my lesson about the screen door but I hope the cat has learned his lesson to stay away from our trailer. If he doesn't he'll be flying through his 9 lives before our stay is up at this trailer park.

Perhaps that's not a bad idea........ KIDDING!

Monday, April 4, 2011

Good Intentions.....

Looking in the bed of my husbands truck I noticed it was rather..........messy. I decided I'd do him a favor and clean up his truck bed from the empty cups and bottles that littered the area.

As I moved about I saw a plastic bag that was tied and thrown up against his toolbox. The bag held some kind of carton in it. The bag was from Hobby Lobby and I could clearly read the words "Pilgrims Pride" on the carton so I knew it contained chicken liver leftover from his latest fishing expedition with my brother. I reached for the bag and as soon as I lifted it up the smell of death ran rampant in a cloud of the foulest air you can imagine. To make matters worse there were maggots all over the bottom of the bag, on the inside AND out.

I thought I was going to throw up in my mouth at the horrid smell emanating from that sack. I set the sack down on his toolbox and ran inside for a bag. There was no way I was going to carry that sack to the trash dump while the worms dropped here and there as I walked. It was bad enough watching the worms wriggle their way back into the safety of the bag and I knew I would have screamed if any one of those worms had touched me. I knew there was no way I could get the tied sack into the safety of my new garbage bag without getting something on me and I didn't want to chance it. I enlisted the help of a friend and together, fighting the urge to gag on the smell of death, we bagged the maggot filled sack. A few worms did not make it into the sack and I hate to think of where they wandered off to as I threw the "death sack" away.

My body is still cringing every time I think about those maggots in my husbands truck and I feel like little things are crawling all over me now. Although I started out with the best of intentions I doubt that I will ever attempt that again.........

Woof-Woof-Haa-Haa

Two Sunday's ago we had a musically talented family visit our church. They played a myriad of stringed instruments as well as putting on a small puppet show for the children. The puppeteers wanted the audience to bark, "Woof-woof-haa-haa, woof-woof-haa." One feels a little silly barking a chant like that but it was all for a good cause going along with the puppeteers message. We soon found out what we were "really" chanting was "Jesus loves you, very much." Well, it's been a few weeks now since that Sunday morning but I haven't forgotten that chant. I was sitting in the recliner today with my 3 dogs sprawled out nearby on the floor and was curious to see what their reaction would be to my dog chant. I began saying, "Woof-woof-haa-haa, woof-woof-haa" and all 3 dogs immediately jumped up and came closer to me with ears perked up and tails wagging. I continued barking my chant, growing louder and louder, and Abbie about nearly knocked me out when she tried to jump up in my lap! She immediately stretched out her thin frame and tried to kiss my face with her slobbery tongue! I sat in the recliner dodging her tongue turning my head left and right to get out of her reach. Watching her reaction to my bark made me laugh all the more which I'm sure encouraged her behavior. Chloe and Benny weren't far behind Abbie as they tried to push their way forward to get a better look at me. If you ever need a laugh just try barking "woof-woof-haa-haa, woof-woof-haa" to your dog and see what they do. If they don't react the way my dogs did then it probably just proves that I have 3 of the silliest dogs ever created. LOL

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Bottled Up

I saw the funniest thing in small town Calipatria today.

Clearly someone in this town takes being a dog owner seriously and puts forth an effort to keep their dogs locked up. I was enjoying an early evening bike ride with my husband when we rolled to a corner and waited for a break in traffic before crossing the road. We heard a commotion at the corner house towards our left and glanced over to see what the ruckus was. There behind the fence were about 5 or 6 Chihuahua's pushing up against the front gate as 1 of the dogs was clearly making headway in his great escape. We watched as he squeezed his porky sized body between the gate and fencepost and listened as the other dogs left behind seemed to bark their encouragement.......or maybe their protest at being left behind.

We continued to watch as he made his way to victory, reaching his freedom on the streets of Calipatria. While the escapee strutted his stuff along the sidewalk the remaining dogs looked on in defeat. What prevented the other dogs from breaking out were the plastic bottles attached around the dogs necks. With a wider body frame there was no way those dogs could squeeze between the fence and escape. Innovative, and brilliant!

I wish more people around here would take to tying plastic bottles around their dogs.......or a 50lb. weight. I know I'd sure appreciate it.

Plastic bottles, who would have thought.....

Monday, March 14, 2011

Highly Entertaining

I found it highly amusing this afternoon watching my dogs while I threw Goldfish pretzels at them. I have no idea how it started but once I began tossing the pretzels it truly was hard to stop amidst all the laughter it created.

Calling the dogs over to where I was sitting, I began to toss a pretzel to each of them. Abbie and Chloe are clearly not trained in the art of catching food with their mouths, unlike their brother Benny who has a big mouth and knows how to use it.

Watching Chloe was probably the most entertaining. I laughed hysterically every time I threw a pretzel her way because she wouldn't move a muscle, letting the pretzel hit her square between the eyes and then after it landed she would get up to eat it off the floor. I would toss it to her expecting her to catch it in her mouth and she'd let it bounce right off of her face. time and time again. Chloe just looked at me with her expressive eyebrows as if saying, "Why did you do that?"

Abbie on the other hand tries hard to catch the flying pretzels. After the first few hit her face and fall to the floor she catches on to the gameplan. (It takes her awhile to warm up and figure out what she is supposed to be doing.) I watched as she finally caught one with an open mouth, however, the pretzel stuck to the tip of her tongue as she sat there with an open mouth just long enough to look goofy.

Benny on the other hand will catch the pretzels in his mouth and then pick up what his sisters have missed. He's in constant motion the whole time and probably scores the biggest stash of all.

It's amazing the amount of laughter that's created from a handful of stale pretzels and 3 dogs. LOL!

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Produce Paranoia

I was at the local grocery store this morning to pick up items needed for new dishes. Upon entering the store I headed for the produce area first, steering the cart around displays, stopping here and there for items on my list. Normally I like to fly under the radar and be left alone while I shop but I had already been picked up on the produce man's radar upon entering the department. He offered assistance and I declined the invitation, preferring just to browse, and not a moment later I found myself in need of a price check. The produce man seemed to follow me as I moved along and was more than happy to assist. I thanked him and moved on to the fresh herbs.

I stood in front of the herb section staring at all the leafy green herbs before me. I was able to recognize the parsley and pulled out a bunch and bagged it. Next on my list was basil, however, I couldn't seem to locate the basil, nor could I see it on any of the price tags along the shelf. I saw signs for mint leaves, parsley, and cilantro but no basil. I picked up a bunch of the anonymous green thing and smelled it. I even ripped a leaf hoping to catch a whiff of basil but instead I smelled nothing. I placed it back on the shelf and hunted through the herbs that were tagged with names but found no marked basil.

I didn't know what to do and I didn't want to buy something and cook with it if it was the wrong herb. I had wasted enough time looking over herbs and I wanted an answer. I really didn't want to have to bother the produce man again so I picked up the mystery bunch and took a picture with my phone. I intended to send it to my sister for clarification on what it was. All the while I was aware that the produce man was watching me from across the department. I know he saw me snap the picture and I'm sure he thought I was a mystery shopper sent for inspection. I probably looked very conspicuous.

I decided to call my sister instead for a direct answer and I continued hovering around the herbs until I noticed the produce man making his way towards me. I thanked my sister for her guidance and snatched up the boxed basil on the shelf nearby, watching as the produce man began inspecting the array of herbs out on display.

Rest assured Mr. Produce Man, your fresh herbs looked fine and I am no mystery shopper. I'm just a girl that can't tell the difference between one green leaf and another.

I didn't have any luck in the meat department either when 3 different unwanted meat men tried to be of assistance.

So much for flying under the radar.

Friday, February 25, 2011

How to Make an Entrance

Last week I found myself at the front gate to the San Diego Zoo. Along with 2 of my friends we planned on exploring all the zoo had to offer. I hadn't been to that particular zoo in over 20 years so I was rather excited as I walked up to the main entrance.

Upon purchasing my ticket I walked a few paces to the main gate as my friends followed behind me. I had no sooner walked through the entrance when I heard the amazing music playing that built suspense as to all the excitement that awaited for you throughout your trip around the zoo. With a silly smile on my face and my zoo map wide open in my hands I turned around to face my friends still entering the zoo and exclaimed how this reminded me of Disneyland.

No sooner had I said those words when I found myself stumbling into something behind me. My first thought was that I had backed into a senior citizen........truly, it was the first thing I pictured. I immediately swung myself around to try and catch myself and realized I had walked backwards into one of the metal poles connected by chains to guide people where to walk. My momentum was carrying me forward and I had no way to stop myself from falling. With a loud clatter from two metal poles and chains hitting the pavement I fell in slow motion to the ground with my left leg taking the brunt of the fall.

I sat up in a daze trying to figure out what had just happened as it all transpired rather quickly. Before I could blink my eyes the zoo employee that had just taken my ticket at the front gate rushed over to my side with her hand on her walkie talkie. I probably looked a little dazed as I was still trying to piece together what happened and get over my embarrassment from falling at the same time. She continued to ask me if I was okay and acted as though she were ready to call an EMT to the scene. I felt I had made enough of a scene and told her I was fine, truly. As I stood up I noticed all the people by the gift shop staring at me. Probably because I gave them a good show. They most likely couldn't tell whether I was having a seizure or a nervous breakdown, especially with the way I was laughing afterwards.

What a way to make an entrance. LOL!

Let that be a lesson to me never to walk anywhere backwards.

Monday, February 14, 2011

What Not to Say

I found myself waiting on hold with the car insurance company earlier this morning. All 3 dogs followed me into the living room and watched as I settled myself into the recliner to begin my wait time. The problem with being on hold is that you never know when the agent is going to pop on the line.

As I waited I began to go over my mental to-do list when I smelled something rank. It was coming from one of the dogs. At the exact moment the operator came on to answer my call I opened my mouth and said, "Benny, you stink!"

Secretly I'm hoping the lady on the phone was too busy telling me her name and company to realize what I'd said. :0)

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Full or Half Breasted

Our local market in town has a small meat counter which I've been eyeing for the last few weeks. Not only does the meat look fresh but it is priced well too. I walked in there the other morning prepared to purchase my beef and chicken. What I didn't expect was the meat counter windows to be empty.

I realized I better just ask the question burning in my mind and walked up to the meat counter. The handsome Hispanic man behind the counter saw me and I kindly asked him when the meat would be out. He clearly didn't understand me and I figured I better use more precise words and said, "When will the hamburger and chicken be out?"

"Oh!" he said, "I can get that for you right now. How much do you want?"

He set to work on my beef order and when he was done he asked if I needed anything else. I told him I would like 9 chicken breasts. His eyes grew huge and he said, "That's a lot of chicken. Are you sure you want 9? A breast is 1-2 lbs. of meat." He looked at me rather skeptically and waited for my answer.

First off, I wasn't expecting him to throw questions at me and so I stood there most likely with a blank look on my face as I tried to calculate how much chicken I needed in pounds. Second off, I couldn't wrap my mind around 9 pieces of chicken weighing that much. All the chicken breasts I ate growing up never seemed that huge to me to where 9 pieces would weigh an exorbitant amount of pounds.

I decided to play it safe and asked him to get me 4 chicken breasts. He slowly turned around and walked to the back of the shop as though he were giving me time to change my mind. All I could think about was, "What is going on?"

As he came back up front he plopped a huge bag of chicken onto the scale and then it was time for my eyes to get big. At that moment I felt like I'd been lied to my whole life. What I had always known as a chicken breast was in fact only HALF of a chicken breast. Pahhhhh! Don't know how I let that one skip by me.

Glancing back at the huge bag of chicken in front of me I knew there was no way our little freezer in the trailer would be able to hold that much chicken. I gave him the go ahead and had him remove 1 of the chicken breasts. It still seemed as though the bag of chicken was overflowing but I figured I could make it work.

As I walked away from the counter I thanked the meat man and heard him laugh to himself saying quietly, "That's a lot of chicken..."

So, I may not have walked out of there with 9 chicken breasts as originally planned, but I definitely got my 9 chicken breasts worth......in halves. LOL!

Blinded

I was in the local laundromat a few moments ago and couldn't get over how cold it was in there. The blinds were closed shut and I decided I would open them to let the sunlight in. I walked over to the window and noticed that of course, there were no poles to open the blinds with. I then placed my fingers on the little hook at the top where the pole normally attaches to and began turning the knob. As the blinds slowly began to open the sunshine began to pour in.

I then moved over to the other half of the window and began to twist the knob at the top of the blinds. I had maybe gotten 2 turns in when the blinds came crashing down from the top of the windowsill making a horrible clatter. Thankfully I was able to haphazardly catch them in air and quickly threw a look over my shoulder just to make sure that indeed I was alone and no one had seen that.

I had an immediate panic that lasted about 5 seconds as I tried to figure out how to get the blinds back up in place before someone walked in. At the top of the blinds I noticed the holder was already cracked so I gently set the blinds on the clips. I performed a wonderful balancing act and once it seemed stable I took my hands off and got out of there.

Personally, I don't think I'm the first person to have a run-in with those blinds by the way they looked, all tattered and torn. It wasn't me, truly!

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Tick, Tick, Tick, Tick.....

My dog, Abbie, is a ticking time bomb.

I am counting down the hours until she is considered safe from the "throw up period". Only 20 hours, 18 minutes, and 23 seconds remain.

You see, I took the dogs out for their afternoon outing and when we walked by the dumpster I planned on throwing the bag of dog poop into the trash. What I didn't plan on was what was lying on the ground. It happened in such a blur that I hardly know what happened myself.

I had stepped over something that looked like fish scales to me and as I tried to keep the dogs heads up from sniffing it I wasn't fast enough. One look at Chloe's jaw moving around and I figured she'd snagged whatever it was on the ground. I immediately set to work trying to open her jaws and finally managed to get my hand in there and pull out a small gray mass of who knows what.

While giving my full attention to Chloe's circumstance I unfortunately missed out on what Abbie was up to. I was feeling triumphant over getting the mush out of Chloe's mouth until I realized the piece I had seen on the ground was much larger than what I pulled out of her jaws. One glance at Abbie told me she'd snatched the major of the 2 pieces on the ground and was attempting to swallow it.

I immediately jumped to Abbie and pried her jaws open as she continued to battle it out with chewing and swallowing the massive object. All I saw in the back of her throat was something that resembled a fish's tail. Scales and all. I tried getting my hand in there to pull it out but it was too late! I grabbed the back of her neck and attempted numerous moves, anything I could think of, that would cause her to throw up the contents she had just consumed but to no avail.

I was in a flurry of panic, growing frustrated and dealing with the onset of a dangerous sugar low all at once. You can imagine how frazzled I looked.

Needless to say, I am now awaiting the arrival for the contents of her stomach to resurface. I'm sure her stomach is being put to the test as we speak on how well it can digest.

And so I wait, with every passing tick-tock of the clock. . . . .

Icy Waterfall

This morning found me cleaning the kitchen and taking care of little odds and ends. After emptying out the 2 ice trays we have I refilled them and moved to the freezer to place them inside. As I tried to put the trays down I noticed the package of bacon was causing problems by sliding underneath the trays. I pushed the bacon to the back of the freezer, put the trays down and shoved the door closed. I assumed the bacon was clearly out of the way and all was well in the icebox.

However, we all know what assuming gets you.........

A few hours later I swung the freezer door open to place something inside and out sprung the 2 ice trays at full force. All of the unfrozen ice cubes came hurling out and doused me and the floor in an icy bath. It caught me off guard and I didn't even have time to jump back as I shrieked and yelled, "OH!"

If the bacon hadn't been so pushy the ice trays never would have gone over the edge. But then again, who was it that placed the bacon where it was..........

I blame myself. LOL!

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Wake Up Call

I have been married for 9 months now and in that time it has been a growing experience for both my husband and I. We've learned how to read each others moods, when to offer encouragment and when to be silent, who likes what on their sandwiches, as well as many other interesting things that make a husband and wife tick.

One thing I've realized about my husband is that he talks in his sleep. During the first week of our marriage I was hit in the stomach and grabbed around the neck on 2 separate occasions. I remember laying there beside him with wide eyes wondering, "What in the world did I get myself into....."

Things have definitely toned down since then but every once in awhile he wakes me up with his night time rambling. At one time I tried to talk back to him and figure out what he was dreaming about but asking questions tends to just make him more agitated. I've learned to be a silent listener when he speaks out during the midnight hour.

Last night was no exception. I was awakened rather abruptly when my husband practically sat up in bed saying rather forcibly, "Ya, I get you. I pick up what you're throwing down!" At that moment I figured he must have been dreaming about some kind of confrontational event.

Not one to get in the middle of things, despite my curiosity, I kept my lips sealed and inched closer to my side of the bed. LOL

Sweet dreams!

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Tattooed

I was born a blondie, through and through. My eyelashes are so blond you can hardly even tell they are there. It's unfortunate but in order to even appear as though I have eyelashes I use a little mascara to make them visible.

This morning as I was getting ready to apply the mascara to my left eye I somehow managed to hit my cheek with the brush as I raised my hand. I looked in the mirror at a black line across my cheekbone. It looked like I'd been playing in black tar. I puffed the air out of my cheeks and wondered if my daily battles with mascara are really worth it.

I reached up to wipe the smear away and instead of lifting the black stain lacing my cheek it seemed to spread into a line twice as long as it once was. I immediately started scrubbing my cheek and as I rinsed my fingers off I looked up into the mirror. I noticed there was still a gray tinged line marring my cheekbone and it wasn't going anywhere.

Had I known the mascara was going to tattoo my face I would have at least made it into a cool design.

Like a flower, or a butterfly, or a ............

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Trailer Tag

Since I am living in a trailer I can't deny the fact that I've heard the phrase "when the trailer's a rockin', don't come a knockin". Soooooo classy.

This morning found my dogs in rare form and all 3 of them were rip-roaring around the trailer playing a game of what appeared to be tag. They were running back and forth up the length of the trailer and I can honestly say that the trailer was rocking amidst all the commotion. Rather than have the trailer shaken off it's stabilizers I broke up the rat pack and put an end to their game.

I feel as though I should hang a sign on my trailer that reads "Dogs At Play" because if this trailer is rocking, well.............the sign speaks for itself.

Do You Hear What I Hear

I was out walking the dogs along the railroad tracks this afternoon when I heard a noise. I continued to hear a faint whistle sound and although it was rather quiet it sounded as though it were close by. I looked around to see where it could possibly have come from but all I saw was an old warehouse with birds lining the roof. The faint whistle seemed to follow me as I walked along and I turned my head left and right trying to figure out what was causing the sound.

When I realized it wasn't coming from anything nearby I took note that we were walking into the wind and came up with the conclusion that it must be my nose or my ears causing all the commotion. I couldn't decide which it was. When I turned my head away from the wind the whistle disappeared. It didn't sound like it was coming from my ears due to the rush of the wind, and my next best guess was that it was the wind blowing past my stuffy nose.

Although I wasn't able to put my finger on what was causing the noise, I do know that when I changed direction away from the wind it was complete silence.

No matter which it was I'd still like to think that my nose doesn't whistle.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Over the Shoulder

After finding an old discarded sign in the dirt yesterday I was ready to explore further and see what other "treasures" I could come across. With all 3 dogs in tow, pepper spray tucked to the hip, and cell phone in my pocket I led the dogs south along the railroad tracks that run parallel to the road where we're staying. I keep an eye on the road as we walk a ways off to the side of it and normally when the road ends we turn around and head back home. Not today. I was in the mood for exploring and wanted to see what else I could find.

The dogs and I continued on along what appeared to be some old dirt tracks that wound through scrub brush and desert bushes. We came upon some abnormally large bushes and while walking past them I felt it was time to throw a cautionary glance over my shoulder and take in my surroundings. As I looked behind me my eyes came across a middle aged man sitting in the shade of the bush. My breath caught in my throat as my heart stopped beating for a second. In the back of my mind it was what I expected to see but I didn't expect it to be true. Due to the angle of the sun and the shadows it created I missed his outline among the dark colors. He was staring straight at me and without looking as startled as I felt I threw out a "hello". He offered a wave and replied back that I had nice dogs but rather than stay for chit chat I continued on my walk......and in a roundabout way we gave a wide circle around the man in the bush and came home.

.............especially after seeing all the gunshot shells out there.

Definitely not a place I'm showcasing to my Mom when she comes to visit.

Wrist Action

I was just holding my head up with the use of my hand while gazing at the computer screen. All of a sudden I saw something flicker out of the corner of my eye. I looked out the window a few inches from my head and noticed nothing out of the ordinary. I turned back to the computer and saw the flicker again......only this time I felt it too.

I looked at my wrist and watched as my pulse beat a rhythm, causing my skin to bulge AT LEAST a quarter of an inch, in and out, and THAT is what I saw out of the corner of my eye. It might not have been a neck twang like I normally get but it sure looked as if something was trying to break out from under my skin.

I'm surprised my stomach didn't break out in a tune all its own at the sight of it. LOL!