Wednesday, May 28, 2008

PLEASE, don't hold the salt.

Have you ever eaten something bland that leaves you feeling disappointed? I just did.

I hadn't eaten the Campbell's select soups in awhile so the last time I was at the store I grabbed a few of the cups and tossed them in the cart. As I was eating one for lunch today, I noticed the mexican style chicken soup was lacking its typical "pop-zing-ahhh" feeling. It somehow had lost its zip. I thought it rather strange that it tasted so bland, perhaps my memory had been a little foggy as to how great I once thought the soup was. I was experiencing the action of putting something in my mouth, however, I was leaving my poor tastebuds in the lurch as it was tasteless. I continued sipping spoon after spoon of this soup, all the while trying to figure out why it tasted so plain, and after getting halfway through the cup I finally glanced down at the label. It read "Healthy Request". (That should have been my first clue.) Underneath that tidbit of information it read: 98% fat free, and 40% less sodium. How did I manage to pick THAT up?!

Even the chicken chunks tasted "skinny".

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Nothing To Hide

I just got back from the store with my dad, and as I was getting a little shaky I decided to grab something from the fridge. That "something" turned out to be a little bowl of leftover stuffing. As I was in desperate need of food, I carried that bowl with me into the laundry room where I was getting ready to switch my wash into the dryer. There I was staring out the laundry room window taking bite after bite of this delicious stuffing when from behind me I hear my dad shuffle up. As he opens the garage door he stops in midstride and asks me, "What are you eating?!" He has that tone in his voice, as though I got caught hiding something. I turn around, show him the bowl, and say, "Stuffing!" He gets that fatherly "ohhhh" kind-of look on his face as it dawns on him that I wasn't hiding anything and replies back with a, "You don't have to eat that in HERE". Oh daddy-o, talking to me as though I had something to hide. Tahhhhh!

How old am I?! Dad is ALWAYS good for a laugh.....

Downfall of the M&M's

I just had the scare of my life. (Well, maybe not really but it did make my heart stop for a split second.)

I left my desk for a minute to run to the restroom and as I came back down the hallway to return to my desk I reached for the handle. I push open the lobby door and all of a sudden I freeze in fear. My eyes got big, my heart was doing double time, and my senses were on alert. As I stood in the doorway frozen with fear, I heard this terrible high pitched "ping-ping-ping" noise coming from the lobby.

(Let me give you a little insider history on the quirks of the lobby. We have roughly 24 ft. ceilings and there is a metal beam that runs from the floor to the ceiling and sits behind my desk a ways. No idea what purpose it serves. At times, that pole will rattle and vibrate when the AC comes on and it makes a very strange noise. And sometimes it rattles without the AC being on. Very weird.)

So, as I stood paralyzed in the doorway listening to this sound, I was frozen to the spot thinking that the pole had finally met it's match and was ready to come down. Either that or an air conditioner unit on the roof was ready to fall through the ceiling. As I stood there tuning into the sound I quickly realized what it was and felt oh-so-sheepish. After listening to the sound for a few seconds I realized it was the sound of M&M's being poured into the company M&M jar in the HR office. In my defense, all I can say is that it was a BIG bag of M&M's and the "ping-ping-ping" sound seemed endless.

I take heart in the fact that I wasn't the only one who got a little concerned over the mystery noise. Somebody else in the hallway heard it and wore a confused look that matched my own.

Saturday, May 24, 2008

You scream, I scream, we all scream for.........nothing?!

As my sister and I are going to be going on a hardcore camping trip next weekend, I set my sights on the garage. I was in search of my tent and the mess kits from our younger days that seemed to be MIA. Just a few minor supplies that will be needed on our journey.

After going through numerous boxes in the garage, I held no hope of finding those mess kits. I think I know what happened to mine, however, my sister was adamant about finding hers. So, in a last ditch effort I took my search to the attic.

As I was sitting at the top of the ladder, my sister was standing directly in front of me. There we were nosing around boxes and rummaging through dusty lids. All of a sudden I saw something small moving directly at my hand. The lone light bulb in the attic was not enough for me to get a clear view of it, or maybe it was the shadow of my sister's head. Either way, I didn't know what was coming at my hand. The next thing I know, my sister is screaming and my reaction is to scream back. I had no idea what she was screaming at but it was like a chain reaction that couldn't be broke. In the commotion of our screaming and shying away from the area where the bug was, I realized it was JUST a silverfish. Pah-lease. That is NOT something that is worthy of a scream. My sister's a nut!

Bottom line, the mess kits were nowhere to be found. But I did find the tent!

Friday, May 23, 2008

Rain Drops Keep Falling On My Head

That's what I was singing at my brother's high school graduation last night. Oh what fun we had! Can you believe that it rained in the sunniest city in Arizona on graduation day? I think I was in awe of the fact that it was raining this late in May. Unbelievable! It hasn't rained at an Arizona graduation in over 20 years. We're used to sitting on hot bleachers, the sun in your eyes, and sweat dripping down your back. Quite the opposite it was last night!

It seemed that you couldn't squeeze close enough to your neighbor in the hopes of conserving a little heat. As the rain began to fall, umbrellas popped up everywhere throughout the stands. Towels, blankets, and quilts were dispersed between the family, all in the hopes of staying dry and keeping warm. It was quite the sight to see. Never in my life have I been to a graduation quite that cold and yet so entertaining. I think we were having more fun in the stands than the graduates on the football field.

The comments were flying and the laughter was bubbling. It was a comedy of sorts with people tipping their umbrellas with the slightest move and sending water cascading down onto those in front of them. (Unintentionally mind you, wink-wink.) And of course a few unlucky people had malfunctioning umbrellas that decided to open up the wrong way, so they were actually catching rain rather than deflecting it. As the rain continued to drizzle down on our poor heads during the ceremony we were cheered with the fact that the authorities decided to cut the ceremony short, minus a few choral sing-along songs and orchestral pieces.

I have to say that despite the rain, that has been one of the best graduations I've ever been to. The rain seemed to bring people closer together, literally, and created a cozy atmosphere despite the cold breeze, the damp clothes and the wet hair. And to top it off, they even had FIREWORKS! I felt like I was caught up in the moment and it wasn't even my graduation. Tahhhh! Who has fireworks at thier graduation?! These kids were too cool for school! I'm sure I had a big dopey smile on my face but I couldn't help it. It was awesome!

All I have left to say is a BIG congrats to my brother J-man. You did it!!!

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Simply Electrifying

My computer is on the fritz again. If anyone with the smallest of electrical charges on their being gets anywhere near my computer you immediately hear a "snap" and then I'm left with a black computer screen. There must be some kind of exposed wire behind the cabinet where the snake of chords lie. (I'm not sticking my hand back there!)

What's crazy is that you don't even have to touch the metal cabinet or metal frame on my desk to get shocked. You might be 2 inches away but it seeks out the electricity and each time someone gets too close I hear that all too familiar electrical "SNAP" sound over the computer speakers and have to wait for my blank screen to come back to life. That's not normal.

I must be static free today because I haven't set it off yet. However, many others have. I've lost count of how many "snap-pops" I've heard today. My sister came out to my desk and as we were discussing it we decided to do a trial run. As I had no static electricity, she got to play the test-dummy. I told her to scuff her feet on the carpet and when she went to touch the desk nothing happened. So, we decided to up the electrical charge. There she was shuffling her feet on the carpet, going around in circles. I tell you, we have more fun when we're NOT working. (Shhhh, don't tell!)

As we were sure we'd built up enough of a charge, she went in to touch the desk and quickly withdrew her hand. Poor lil' pumpkin was a mite nervous. It's like, when our dad would ask us to stick out our tongue and "test" the batteries for him. We knew what to expect and yet we still felt that pent up anticipation of what was to come. (You'd think we'd learn our lesson after the first zinging jolt.) Anywho, when my sister pulled herself together and touched the desk we weren't surprised at what we heard. As I was left with a blank screen, we decided she had quite the electrical field around her.

We now call her---Storm. (From X-Men) Pahhhhhh!

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

There's Your Sign---

Yesterday morning, I noticed that the business across the green from us was putting up a new company sign. They had placed the sign on one of their forklifts and were attempting to balance it out as the lift went jolting over the side of the curb. The sign was in a precarious position as it wobbled back and forth on the forklift, but amazingly enough they got it placed on the grass and in the ground in less than an hour. All of this I watched from the secret safety of my lobby window. Before I left work yesterday, I noticed that the sign looked to be tilting ever so slightly. As I got into my car I wondered if anyone over there saw what I saw.

After getting into the office this morning, I couldn't HELP but notice that the sign was now slanted at a dangerously steep angle. Gravity was at work. (Or, was it just sloppy work?!) After getting a good look at it this morning, I knew it wouldn't be long before that baby came crashing down-----we didn't have to wait long. Earlier this afternoon, my sister and I noticed them beep-beep-backing up the forklift with the broken sign balanced on top of the lift. Part of the red emblem looks to be cracked and missing. (Probably shattered after hitting the cement curb.) I'd just like to ask them---did you not see it coming?!

What's funny is that this looks to be the same sign that the owner had placed in front of another warehouse in the neighborhood months ago, to prove to his competitors that he had more than one warehouse. That sign was only up for a day before he was ordered to take it down. Probably had something to do with the fact that he didn't OWN that warehouse. What a weirdo.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Computer Meltdown

I seriously thought my computer was having a minor meltdown this morning.

I was working on a large pile of filing at my desk, in between sending emails to a dear cousin of mine, and as I continued working on the filing I noticed the first email in my "Inbox" continued to pop up even after I attempted to close it. No matter how many different ways I tried to close the box, nothing worked. I was starting to think that mabye that last email I recieved from my cousin had attached some kind of freaky virus to my computer that would cause it to do weird things like that. Not likely, but my imagination was already cranked. I quickly realized I was running out of ideas on how to fix this quirk and when I started to hear a mile-a-minute beep,beep,beep in my computer speakers I quickly dialed my sisters extension to see if she could come take a look at it. I was in a near panic thinking my computer was broken.

My sister comes out and after investigating for no more than 5 seconds, she solves the problem. She informed me that it's probably not a good idea to have 4 inches of filing pressing down on the "Enter" key. No wonder I couldn't close it.

Why didn't I see that?!

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Got Milk?

This morning I woke up knowing that I needed to run to the grocery store to get some strawberries and bread for our special Mother's Day breakfast. I threw off the covers and tried to get myself halfway presentable. As it wasn't even 7a.m. yet, I decided to do something I never do. (Well, maybe I've done it once or twice in my life, but that's it.) No make-up, no hair done, not even a brush through the hair. I threw a hat on over my tumbleweed curls and pulled the rim low, secretly hoping that I wouldn't run into anyone I know.

As Dad and I were walking through the store, you couldn't help but notice all the men walking around the card aisle and the flower section with frenzied expressions. (Somebody didn't plan ahead......hahaha) Anywho, at one point Dad and I got separated on different aisles and we wound up calling each other to pinpoint each others locations. He told me that he was in the bakery and apparently he didn't hear where I said I was, so I said a little louder into the phone, "I'm in the MILK!" As soon as those words left my mouth I think I realized I should have rephrased my choice of words. Especially with all those men wandering aimlessly around. A happy Mother's Day indeed. Tahhhh!

Maybe someday...............

Thursday, May 8, 2008

"Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam...."

As my sister and I are VERY big fans of "The Office", she has often dared me to answer the phone at the front desk with a "Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam....." intro. We were talking about it again today so it was fresh in my mind.

Well, after she left for lunch I was sitting at my desk and the phone rang. I looked at the phone number and noticed that it was just a junk call I receive about 10 times a day. As it is a simple computer recording, I thought to myself---why not give it a try.

I pick up the phone and in my best Pam voice I say, "Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam." Rather than hearing the typical computer recording that kicks on, I immediately hear the fuzzy background noise and the next thing I know, a little voice comes on the line. I'm sure my eyes got as big as saucers when I realized this was NOT a computer. Even though the voice was practically inaudible, I think I almost went into a panic. Pahhhh! I quickly hit the release button and ended the call. That WASN'T supposed to happen. What was supposed to be a practice run turned into the real deal (even though it was still a junk call).

Think I might need a little more preparation before I pull that one again.

Chocolate Covered

As I was starting to get a little hungry this morning, I figured it was time to pull out a snack from the ol' lunch box. I pulled out my banana and as I looked at it I was reminded of an incident that happened a few years ago with my dear cousin. We had decided to make chocolate covered bananas. As I had never made them before I was following her lead. The bananas were supposed to be chilled before you drizzled them with chocolate and peanuts so we placed them in the freezer. We soon realized that you have to PEEL the bananas before placing them in the freezer. Pahhhhh! There we were, bent over the sinks trying to chisel away the frozen peel that still encased our poor bananas. A lot of work for a "simple" treat........

Anywho, as I sat at my desk this morning I thought to myself, I have a banana, I have a chocolate truffle (from my secret stash), and I have a cup of peanuts. Why not make a masterpiece?! So, I improvised. I carefully sliced my truffle into little pieces, placed a piece of that on top of a slice of banana, and popped it into my mouth. Then came the time to add the peanuts. The ratio was a little off as I wound up chewing all the peanuts before the chunk of chocolate and banana mash had disintegrated, so there I sat at my desk popping peanut after peanut, just trying to create some balance. It actually wasn't too bad.

It might not have been a true chocolate covered banana, but it was a banana, it was chocolate, and it was peanuts. Close enough, right?!

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Tropical Storm

Is it goofy that for once in my life I can actually say that I enjoy going into the ladies restroom at work?! I never thought I would EVER be able to say that. Seriously.

As it is under my job description, I recently changed the automatic air freshener in the ladies room to a new scent of mango. I tell you, every time I walk in there I am blown away by the tropical smell! It's like finding a paradise in the least suspecting places. As you push open the door, the rush of air mixed with the mango smell immediately takes over your senses and for a priceless minute you forget about working in an office where cubicles and fluorescent lighting abound and are whisked away to a tropical paradise, living it up island style.

Yes, I will cherish these mini-island escapes in the ladies room, because I know all good things must eventually come to an end. The island days are numbered.

The Rosemary Did Him In

We have this little rosemary tree sitting near the edge of our front porch that unfortunately succumbed to the freezing temperatures this winter. I don't know why we haven't taken care of it yet, perhaps we were holding out hope that there might be a small flicker of life still remaining in it. My dad often talks of burning that little rosemary tree, but I remind him that it would smell like a bad pizzeria if he chose to do so. (Please don't.)

Anywho, last night my parents and I were sitting on the front porch with the chiminea blazing away. Amazing that it was even cool enough to have a little fire going. So we are out there enjoying the weather and conversation when my dad decides to get up and go see Sash who was relaxing peacefully in the yard. He gets up to mosey on over and as he walked past the little rosemary tree, I suppose it was the dried branches that somehow snagged his leg, and he lost his balance, practically tripping over the railroad tie and onto the dog. Mom and I could not contain our giggles and we openly laughed at his fancy footwork in attempts to catch himself. If only you could have seen it.......... It truly was a sight to behold. He never fails to put on a good show---even when he isn't trying to make us laugh.

I wonder what his sentiments are towards that little tree now...................

Monday, May 5, 2008

Open At Your Own Risk

I would just like to say that despite someones lengthy attempts to rid the office of my sister and I on Friday, we are in the office this morning, strong as ever. Well, maybe not so strong, let us not forget it is a Monday.

Friday afternoon found my sister and I in the company break room with the ever unpleasant task of cleaning out the refrigerator. You see, some people are just too lazy to throw outdated food items away or take home their leftovers from lunch. Hence, the reason for the fridge clean out. As my sister was cleaning the tables and counters I decided to open the fridge and tackle the job within. I was opening food containers, checking expiration dates, etc. and had already filled a trash can with a moldy collage of foods. What blew me away was the innocent looking styrofoam carton I pulled from the back. Something told me to proceed with caution. I carefully popped open the lid ever so slowly, but in my astonishment at what was growing inside the carton, I accidentally let the lid pop wide open and breathed in some of the toxic moldy air. I'm talking, this thing was covered in a half inch of fuzz and you could see all of the individual black spores just waiting to explode into the air. As I happened to take a breath at that exact moment, I could taste the moldy air in my mouth! I tried coughing it out, not sure that did me any good though, and my sister just looked at me as I was sputtering for air.

I hope I don't get a moldy lung from this. Next time---we're going in HAZMAT gear.

Saturday, May 3, 2008

Needle in a Haystack

Do you have any idea how hard it is to find dog poops in a backyard that is full of manure? It's like trying to find a needle in a haystack!

I go out there with bag and scooper in hand, expecting to find clumps of brown gold laying around and all I see are lots of little brown clumps that dot the landscape. I wind up eyeing every clump and waste my time trying to figure out if it's a little donut from Bella or a pie from a cow. As I'm filtering through all the clumps (with my eyes, wink-wink), all I can hope is that I don't accidentally step on a brown clump that ISN'T a piece of manure.

Such is life.

Friday, May 2, 2008

Shaving Accident

The other night I thought I would kill two birds with one stone and shave in the shower. Little did I know I'd practically give myself a heart attack. As I had reached down to shave the back of my calf, something felt "different" when I stroked the shaver up on that 4 inch run. I thought I had zinged myself for sure with the shaver and immediately looked down to the water to see if the water was turning red. I saw no signs of immediate blood and so I relaxed, that is, until I raised my shaver to eye level. My heart nearly skipped out of my chest at what I saw! There clinging to the shaver was about a 1 inch by 3 inch fleshy looking piece of somthing. I know my eyes were as big as saucers as I realized I had just shaved my calf away. Except---there was no pain.

Then I noticed that the fleshy looking thing attached to my shaver was actually a strip of soap that somehow got sliced off the bar. Pathetic, I know. Pahhhhhhhh!