Friday, November 28, 2008

Bitter Bite

I got two new puppies this last weekend and despite asking myself WHY afterwards, I am trying to make the best of it, seems as I AM now the mother of twin girls, wink-wink.

I get to experience all the joys of puppyhood all over again, including chewing. Chloe has taken a liking to chewing on the wood along our back porch. Anywho, last night she started chewing on something out back so I got up with the Bitter Bite my sister brought over. It's a liquid that you can spray on objects to deter animals from chewing. It's exactly as it says, bitter bite. Believe me, I know from first hand experience.

I sprayed the area with the Bitter Bite and then I came inside and sat down on the couch with the family. Everything was fine up until a few minutes later when I started to taste something funny on my lips. I then put two and two together. I must have had some Bitter Bite on my fingers and when I touched my mouth............well, there you have it. I had a panicked expression on my face as I turned to my sister and said, "Ohhh, bitter bite!" I jumped off the couch in a frenzy to go wash my hands and face with soap. Apparently you're supposed to wash your hands AFTER using it. Good to know.

I'm a believer. Bitter Bite worked on me.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Sweet Redemption

I just have to say that after my morning jog with my 4th grade students for the annual Turkey Trot---I feel great! I was starting to have doubts about my running ability after my ordeal with neighbor Ron-Ron. (see previous story "Running with Ron-Ron") Wasn't sure if I could handle running after feeling defeated on those mountain trails. I began to second guess my running skills and felt like the running world as I knew it had been rocked. Pahhh!

No more! This morning we were running along out under the cloudy, rainy sky and I was blowing past moms and dads left and right. I felt like Rocky. (Probably because they were playing that music as we left the gym. I couldn't help but throw out a couple air punches as we made our exit.)

I know, call me pathetic but I feel great. I CAN run just fine, just not on any desert mountain trails............unless of course I was being chased by a bobcat or something. In that case all you'd see is my dust.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Freak Out

To this day my dad always calls me "freak out", and today..........I proved him correct once again.

I was just about to send a picture to my friend over the phone when all of a sudden my phone showed a black screen with the words "Memory at 100%". My mind froze and all I could think of was---WHAT does that mean?! I'd never seen it before. All of my pictures were deleted, videos were no more and my background was the basic one that appears when you first buy your phone. Absolutely NOTHING on my phone was working. I couldn't text, couldn't use the camera, couldn't even call out. My phone was not working, it was dead.

I was about to go through a mild freak out, and I'm not even kidding. (How lame is that?!) As I paced through the kitchen with tears about to pop out of my eyes I thought of one thing I could try. From somewhere in the corner of my mind came the thought "try turning your phone off and on....." Maybe a reboot was just what it needed.

AND IT WAS!!! When I turned my phone back on there was my darling background, all my videos, texts, and pictures. I have no idea what happened but you better believe I will be asking some questions.

Why is it that whenever something with technology goes wrong my first instinct is to freak out?! I was about near tears over this. Pahhhhh! How pathetic.

Running with Ron-Ron

(Names have been changed to protect the innocent.)

Last week, our neighbor next door of 24 years asked me if I'd been doing much running. My response, "Uhhhhh, no." I thought to myself---oh dear, where is this going. It turned into an invite to go running with him out on some mountain trails in a nearby hiking area.

I am 26 years old and I am not embarrassed to admit that my 53 year old neighbor showed me up. Pahhhhh! As soon as we got out of the truck we took off running on the trails and I was just trying to keep up. I was huffing and puffing up the trails and I tried desperately to keep no more than 6 feet behind him. I thought I was going to die! There I was gasping for breath, my body was hot, my heartbeat was bulging out the side of my neck and every time I tried to get a drink of water while running the water either sloshed onto my shirt or up my nose. It was NOT pretty. I even wound up choking at one point due to my intake of water up the nose. I remember him asking me over his shoulder if I was okay. Ummm, ya............never better, hahaha! Picture me with a water bottle in one hand and the other hand trying to yank a tissue out of my pocket to wipe my nose from drippy water, ALL while running down a desert trail. I was like a pretzel in motion.

Thankfully the running only lasted for about 10-15 minutes. Blessings from heaven! Then the pace was set to a brisk hiking mode.

We tried to run one more time towards the end of the trail but I had to stop after a few minutes and slow it back down to a walking pace. As my left shoulder began killing me with pain, I was thinking I was in the early stages of dying from a heart attack. The vision of the desert sun glistening off the rooftops of cars in the parking lot had never been sweeter. Before leaving we rested underneath the ramada. My face was red, his was not. My water was completely gone, his was barely touched. I was sweaty, he looked dry. You've got to be kidding me!

I felt bad for slowing my neighbor down despite the fact that he said it was NOT a problem, but he's definitely a hardcore runner and I AM NOT. I just can't run up those mountains, especially when it's hot outside.

Bring on the flat surface jogging areas, please. And while you're at it, bring me my cane. My hips are killing me today. Pahhhhhh! Maybe I should have held on to that piece of mail from the Scooter Store.

The DJ Delivers

I just wanted to say-----PROPS TO MY SISTER! She kept the tunes alive on our weekend trip to the Canyon.

There's really no easy way around it, my CD player broke. We were halfway to Flagstaff when the CD player clicked it's last after playing only one CD. We roughted it up to the Canyon on staticy fuzz, the occasional song breaking through, and our own chattery fun. When we are left to our own devices for entertainment we CAN be rather funny.

On our 3 hour trip home my sister was definitely on her A-Game and had the tunes coming the whole way. (My hands were tied as I had to drive, 2 hands on the wheel, ya'know....)If a song would end or a station got filled with too much static, you better believe she was on that SCAN button like hot syrup on pancakes. Thanks to my sister, she kept continuous tunes playing, scanning for any radio stations that might reach us on our drive through the mountains.

When we pulled in the driveway her comment to me was, "My finger hurts from pushing the buttons." Of course I didn't laugh at her...............I laughed with her, wink-wink.

Walk it off sweets, walk it off. Your finger will appreciate it. Tahhhh!

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Rawrump

Say it fast.......yep, that's what it is alright. My brother and I decided to take a bike ride yesterday for a little fun in the sun. What turned out to be a mediocre bike ride turned into over 13.5 miles of riding. My boney rump is feeling every bit of that 13.5 miles this morning. I have a big seat to sit on (the bike---not me personally, I know what you were thinking) and I guess I just don't have enough built in cushion on my "personal seat" to counteract every jostle, crack, or bump in the sidewalk we go over.

After about 9 miles or so we wound up stopping at my grandma's for a water break and a little breather. Big mistake. The lil' powwow with grandma was nice but climbing onto that bike when we were ready to git' was not cool. Apparently my muscles had enough downtime while we rested to turn into noodles. Once we got up to speed it wasn't too bad, we found that rhythm again. As we were cruising on home there were a few areas where we had to climb a little to go over a few bridges. My brother was ahead of me a ways so I decided I needed to increase my speed.....during the climbing stage. I stood up and began to pedal while standing up. WOW-not good. My thighs began trembling and were crying out in agony, "Why, why, why.....?!"

Amazingly enough, my legs feel great today, it's just the boney rump that's a hurtin'.

Anyone have a doughnut pillow?!

Friday, November 14, 2008

What was that?!

The other day, my dad and I were trimming one of the front trees. Well I SHOULD probably clarify, HE was trimming and I was watching. My job consisted of occasionally holding the ladder and admiring his work.

While he was trimming away like a wild man, I was standing on the sidewalk in a daze when the following conversation played out:

Dad: "WHAT was that?!"
Me: "What?" (clearly confused)
Dad: "Something just fell out of the tree."
Me: "What........? Are you sure? I didn't see anything."
Dad: "Ya, something came falling down right at my face! I think it was a bird."
Me: "A bird?!"
Dad: "I think so."
Me: "Did you just chop a bird in half?!"
Dad: "I don't know........"
(he and I are then scouring the ground looking through the fallen leaves and branches for something that resembles a bird)
Me: "Pahhhhhh! There it is. Looks like a piece of paper to me."
Dad: "Man........it happened so fast I couldn't tell what it was."
Me: "Happens to the best of us, hahaha."

Catastrophe avoided, back to work.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Personal Lint Trap

I was getting ready for my shower this evening when I looked down and noticed my belly button. You know, that lil' indent of a hole right in the middle of your tummy...........ringing a bell? By the sight of it I could tell I had neglected it for too long. I was rather appalled at what was hanging out in there.

I'm embarrassed to say that I saw little white "fuzzies", but it's the truth. I shower and clean myself everyday, but somehow the belly button gets thrown to the sidelines. Guess it was time for a deep scrub. How often do we overlook our belly buttons?! For real. The first thing that came to mind was a lint trap. It's our very own, built in, one size doesn't always fit all, personal lint trap.

Time to clean house.

Living a Lifetime Movie

That's exactly what I did last night in my dream.

I was wrongfully imprisoned and had my baby there as well. While out in the prison yard one day, the guards called out for everyone on the ground. As my group and I did so, wondering what was going on, a male prisoner came running over to us and stuck me with a needle and then he dropped his syringes by my side making me look like the guilty one. I was hauled off and placed in isolation. No one believed me, but one woman. I was placed in a new unit so I could still hold my baby through a plastic wall and gloved hands. The tears were real. I was taken out of prison for a day to visit my parents ranch, my roots, and the tears came rushing back after looking at the rolling hills that surrounded us. My mother knew I was innocent while my sister thought I was guilty and paid me no attention. Day by day, more people began to befriend me in prison and believe in me. I remained in isolation so the male prisoner that was soon to go on trial and had caused even more damage to my world, would not know what happened to me. As we got to his trial day, I came out the door as a witness to be used against him, and the whole courtroom was in shock that yes, I was still alive. And to end the movie on a good note, I was released from prison, taking my baby with me to the sprawling ranch where we had the chance to begin again. I was finally home.

NOW, just remember the characters were fictional in this dream, except for me and my mom. I KNOW my real sister would never turn her back on me, wink-wink. With all the drama and tears in that dream, I seriously woke up thinking, "Wow. I just lived a Lifetime Movie. I have GOT to tell my sister!"

Talk about a storyline for your movie. Where's a producer when you need one! Pahhhhh!

Thursday, November 6, 2008

The Art of War

As I was watching my students today I noticed one in particular nonchalantly lean his arms back behind his head, as though he was stretching, and THEN with a flick of the wrist he flung a small chunk (which I can only assume was a piece of crayon) at a girl sitting across the table from him. I don't even think she noticed it as the crayon bounced off her tummy and onto the floor. First off, I had to bite back a laugh because it truly was too funny. So I swallowed my laugh and pasted a frown face with raised brows and said his name quietly. He looked at me with a little "oops, I got caught" grin and told me that it was "a war" with this particular girl as they have been doing this over the past few days. Hmmm........

The other day we had Art Masterpiece in our classroom and the children were sitting on the floor in groups. As I moved between two particular groups, I noticed some little crayon chunks flying across the floor out of the corner of my eye. I couldn't tell who the culprit was, but I had to bite back a laugh while it was going on. Two students were having a little "war" with one another and I just wasn't in the right spot at the right time to see who it was. I would throw a glance around the room and give students "the eye" in hopes of forcing a confession, but I got nowhere. Now I have a pretty good idea who was working the floor behind my back.

It's something that should NOT want to make me giggle, but IT DOES! I know, it's terrible, but I find it too funny. Probably because my friends and I would try the same things. It's bringing it all back.......

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Boys, Boys, Boys

Why do boys feel it is necessary to lean out their windows, wave their arms wildly, and yell meaningless words in an attempt to attract a girls attention?

A group of boys, who looked to be high schoolers, pulled up next to me at a red light the other day and despite the fact that we were a cars length away it didn't stop them from attempting to gain my attention. Well, they got it. I heard the commotion outside my lowered window and I thought to myself, "What is going on?!" And of course, being the curious person I am, I turned my head and peered to the left. BAM---fuel to the fire I tell ya. Mistake #1- looking in the first place. Mistake #2- looking twice. Mistake #3- giving them a smile.

DESPITE the fact that it was a pity smile and NOT a full fledged smile, they pulled away thinking they were the sauce and congratulating themselves with a high 5 and a slap on the back. What morons. If only they knew they looked like a barrel of monkeys on wheels.

What if the roles were reversed. How would they like it?! (Probably a little too much. Scratch that thought.)

Monday, November 3, 2008

The Scooter Store

I received a piece of mail today from the Scooter Store. YES, the Scooter Store. The infomercials that you always see on TV were now brought to life at my front door. Pictures of senior citizens buzzing around town on their brand new scooters stared back at me. At first my reaction was, "WHAT is this?" Then it moved on to thoughts of how they must have gotten the wrong address, but low and behold there was my name posted in bold print on the mailer.

I know I have a birthday coming up but I haven't aged THAT much in the last year.

I didn't think it was very funny.

"THEY need cable........."

Those were the first words out of my sisters mouth when we walked past a couple of rambunctious canines and their owners last weekend. The man tried to control his two large dogs while his lady friend looked on in wide eyed fear. Their dogs lunged at Bella (my sisters dog) as we attempted to walk by them in the bike lane. Poor Bella didn't know which way to turn and my sister quickly made her stop and sit until she calmed down.

As our energy had just sky-rocketed, I cast a glance in my sisters direction and wound up catching her eye. She looked.........a little "miffed". :o) That's when she popped out with, "THEY need cable." Pahhhhh! I wanted to laugh..........in fact, I did. We both did! My sister went on to say, "Apparently that couple has never seen the Dog Whisperer, otherwise they would have corrected their dogs behavior." (He's on the Nat. Geo. channel)

I couldn't help but smile as we moved on and coasted back into our walking rhythm. They need cable..........indeed, hahaha!

Changing the world, one dog at a time.