Wednesday, September 30, 2009

The Great Collapse

I was in the janitors closet this morning putting supplies away when I nearly collapsed under the weight of a box of paper towels.

Picturing that might cause you to laugh but I assure you it was no laughing matter when I was caught with a box falling towards my head and no support in the arms to catch it.

As I was putting the box up on the shelf I ignored the fact that my arms were still recooperating from my early morning exercises. It didn't take me long to realize they were as loose as rubber bands when I tried to lift the paper towel box and place it on a shelf 6-1/2 feet up. Arms raised above my head with a grip on a box that I thought was tough as glue fell apart as I couldn't quite get the edge of the box up and over the shelf. The box bumped off the shelf and my limp noodled arms tried to counteract the weight coming right back at me and nearly pushed myself into the wall behind me.

With shaking arms I was able to push the box with my tummy onto a lower shelf and prevented myself from collapsing onto the floor. LOL!

Paints such a pretty picture, eh?

Needless to say, I did get the box up onto the shelf. Only took me 2 tries and a secure grip.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

How long?!

I walked into the ladies restroom at work this afternoon and was slammed into the wall by the smell coming at me. I walked into the only available stall. I immediately set to work pulling toilet paper strips off to cover the seat and nonchalantly glanced over my shoulder to see if the air freshener was blinking on red. (Red means it is out which would make sense for the odor that seemed to be hanging in the air.)

However, that once glance answered my question that it was in fact still full of air freshener. I threw out a silent plea with my eyes to the air freshener and willed it to spray another fresh breath of air into the restroom for I thought I was going to choke. I tried to minimize the amount of air I was taking in at the moment and I decided to see how long I could hold my breath.

I practically sucked my lips into my face during the process of trying not to breathe and when I made it to the sink to wash up I glanced in the mirror. I'd turned my lips purple!

I let down my guard and unclenched my lips. I took a breath of air. I figured the damage had already been done. What's the point of holding your breath when you can't even smell the "odor" anymore? You know it's still there, yet you just can't smell it.

Oh the joys of the 2:00 break.

Friday, September 11, 2009

Scared Spitless

While I have been sitting at my desk this afternoon I've noticed a blue blur that continued to flash by through the hallway window. As I've been busy doing my work I hadn't really paid much attention to it.

Well, little did I know what I was about to run into.

I got up from my desk to retrieve some papers off the printer which is in a hallway 30 feet away from where I sit. As I turned to leave the printer area I heard a noise coming down the stairs to my left but I couldn't see anything for the wall that was standing between us. The commotion grew louder and just as I stepped around the wall and could visually see the stairs, off sprung this little pixie of a girl dressed in blue. She scared me spitless and I have to admit I was not expecting to see her there. From the look on her face I could tell she wasn't expecting to see me either. Her eyes became huge as saucers and she looked at me with that shy look of "oops, I got caught". As my heart was coming back down to earth I choked on the words I was about to say and all I could muster out was a quiet, "Oh! You scared me." She then informed me in a whisper that I scared her too. No doubt!

When I heard the commotion coming down the stairs and then got startled by the figure jumping into my path my first instinct was to yell at whoever it was for running down the stairs in the first place and scaring me. I figured it was one of the programmers from upstairs and they'd have been able to handle that, wink-wink. You can imagine how shocked I was to find out it was a little girl. NOT what I was expecting at all.

Where did she even come from?! LOL!

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

King Sized

I was sitting on the couch watching "Magnum P.I." with my parents this evening when I noticed something on my dad's foot. He was eating his ice-cream and had casually draped his foot across his outstretched leg when I saw a big ol' white thing on the bottom edge of his foot. I believe I said something along the lines of, "Whoa! Is that a king sized wart?"

It seriously looked like some kind of abnormal growth and I seemed to surprise my dad with my comment, almost as though he had no idea that "thing" was on his foot. He put aside his bowl of ice-cream and leaned down for a closer look. My loud comment about my dad's foot drew my brothers attention and he got up out of his chair to take a gander as well.

My dad took a closer look at the white thing in question and just smirked at me when he said, "That's just a piece of food I must have stepped on in the kitchen." The next thing I know he flicked it at me! It landed a few inches away from where I was sitting on the couch and I decided to flick it back. I prepared my fingers and flicked away! The little thing which was once thought of as a wart went sailing through the air aimed right back towards my dad and brother. Apparently my aim was near perfection because I saw my brother jerk his arm that was holding his ice-cream bowl while he yelled, "Hey, my bowl!"

Just pretend it's an almond in your ice-cream. HA!

Friday, September 4, 2009

When ya got to go......

I was visiting a local mall this evening when I decided to stop over and use the ladies room. I walked down the long tiled hallway to the restroom and after walking in I realized it was practically empty. Empty except for two young girls.

A young girl of about 6 or 7 years old came out of a nearby stall when I walked in and she breezed down the row of stalls until she came to the door that housed her friend, whose voice sounded about 8 or 9 years old. I didn't feel like doing a foot check under the stall doors which were seemed to be shut at the same moment so I did what I felt most comfortable doing and deided to seek out the stall with the open door, knowing for a fact that it would be empty. It just so happened that it was the stall right next to the young girl.

Now let me just tell you that upon walking into the restroom I was hit with the fresh smell of..........poo. As I was laying the toilet paper down on my seat preparing for my visit I couldn't help but overhear the two young girls conversation taking place in the stall next to me. This is how it went down:

Girl in Stall: "Come under the door."
Girl in Hall: "No."
Girl in Stall: "Yes, I want to SHOW you something. Come under the door."

There was a brief pause and after a second or two passed I heard the girl in the stall say, "See, I told you......when I got to go, I got to go."

I wanted to bust out laughing when I heard that but I held it in until the little munchkins were way out of ear shot. I can only imagine what was in that toilet that was worth climbing under a stall door to see.