Saturday, August 23, 2008

Trial and Terrors

Let me just start by saying---today was NOT a good vacuum day.

As I went about vacuuming the house this morning I nearly tripped on the chord and machinery 3 times. I was off to a rough start. Guess you could say I was a little uncoordinated today. (It's not an everyday thing, trust me.) Anywho, the task at hand was coming to an end as I began the final sweeps in my parents room. As I went around my dad's side of the bed, I was pushing the vacuum back and forth when all of a sudden I heard a HORRENDOUS, grating noise and it was coming from the vacuum! I don't know if I had looked away for a second or what, but apparently I got too close to the quilt corner lying on the floor and the vacuum began sucking it up in earnest. Hence the horrendous sound. As I'm trying to find the off button on the handle my mom comes flying out of her bathroom, foaming at the mouth. (No, she's not rabid, she was brushing her teeth, hahaha!) While she was yelling at me to turn it off, it seemed my finger just couldn't find the switch. My insides hurt from the near panic attack!

I finally got the vacuum shut off and it instantly let go of its victim. My mom went back to her bathroom, and after I muttered, "Dumb vacuum....." I started to laugh (out of frustration or being scared silly till my insides hurt, I don't know.) Of course, hearing the commotion going down in the room brought my dad in from the family room. He immediately started imitating the noise and asked me what had happened. After filling him in I figured that was the end of it. Both parents left the room and I began the final step of vacuuming the bare floors in their bathroom. Apparently Dad hadn't had quite enough excitement yet and he thought it would be funny to scare me. He waited for his most opportune moment and he took it. I had my head behind the toilet vacuuming the trim, when he popped his head around the corner, made that horrendous grinding noise, and drilled his fingers into my ribs, aka-his way of tickling. My instant reaction was to grab his fingers and give him a face to fear. Funn-nay!

Dad's response, "Owww....." (followed by laughter)

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Taskmaster

Our students were quietly working in pairs this morning while looking for spelling words hidden in a word search. As I meandered around the classroom I stopped near two boys who had just paired up. I peered over their shoulders to see how they were doing, and actually wound up hearing a rather interesting conversation being whispered between the two. (Although I must say I think it was rather one-sided.)

Boy 1 - whispering......"Are you rich or middle?"
Boy 2 - "What?".......very confused look on his face
Boy 1 - more forceful......."Are you rich or middle?"
Boy 2 - "Rich? Is that one of our spelling words?"......clearly
has no idea what Boy 2 is referring to

NO! I decided it was time to step in and I quickly redirected both boys attention back to the task at hand. Boy 2 could barely hear the whispered question in the first place and the confused look on his face spoke volumes.

Talk about nosy!

Civil Rights

I was buzzing around the classroom today when I walked past one group of students and saw a troubled look brewing on one young boy's face. (This particular child is almost too smart for his own good.) I asked him what was wrong and he quickly informed me by saying, "This person is messing with my Civil Rights. She keeps moving my desk." Civil Rights?! What 8 year old talks about that?! The only thing running through my head at that point was---man, how am I going to handle this one. While he began to explain his case about how his Civil Rights were being "messed with" by this girl who kept pushing her desk into his, I truly had to bite back a laugh. I quickly handled the situation, taking care of both parties involved in the "movement", but seriously, listening to a child talk abut their Civil Rights with such a serious face and furrowed brows was almost too much!

He'd make a perfect lawyer.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Wax Museum

We decided not to let a little power outage rain on our parade last night so we started up a family card game at the dining table. We lit the candles and dealt the cards. As we began to play, we noticed that 3 moths were hanging out above the table, much to my sister's dismay. We paid them no attention and began playing when all of a sudden, one kamikaze moth flew in from left field and dive bombed the lit candle sitting closest to my dad. The poor little moth didn't even have a chance. He landed right next to the flame in the melted wax, and although he tried to fly away the damage had already been done. I felt so sorry for the little guy and I jumped out of my chair from across the table to do the nice thing and blow out the candle that was still burning within a hairs distance from him. I leaned across the table and as I attempted to blow out the candle, I quickly learned once again that I can NOT blow out a candle like a normal person. Not only did it take me too long to blow the sputtering candle out, but I wound up blowing the flame right across the moth's backside in the process. I was just trying to help! Unfortunately, the poor critter was encased in wax. Needless to say---he didn't make it.

I did not want to have another "flight to the flame" episode with the other two moths still above the table so I caught them and released them outside. Yep, they're the lucky ones alright.

Blackout Giggles

Last night as we were sitting around enjoying dessert we experienced a blackout. I had no idea our house could get so dark! I flipped open my phone and shed some light on everyone while I went hunting for some matches. By the time I found the matches and lit a candle for my mom, my dad had already taken off out the front door with his flashlight to investigate. Of course, me and my curious nose had to follow along.

Outside, Dad was shining his light up and down the street, telling me how 3/4 of our street was without power. So there we were, goofing around and laughing when we heard our strange hermit-like neighbors across the street open their front door and shine one little lone light out onto their porch. Next thing I know, Dad tells me, "Quick, lets hide behind the tree!" As I try to suppress my giggles, I jump in line behind him---just like a couple of kids I tell ya. As we're hiding out, I notice that the neighbors are starting to walk down their driveway and before I know what happens, Dad starts shuffling up the walkway to the front porch while leaving me there with my head poking out around the tree. Of course I'm hot on his heels as I realize he is going to hide behind the front pillar. We were quiet enough that we could hear what Mr. Hermit was saying and we see him shine his light up and down the street taking it all in. Dad starts mimicking his actions and I nonchalantly tap Dad on the shoulder and inform him that he was doing the EXACT same thing not 5 minutes ago. Hahaha! While we were out there playing P.I., I remembered that I was barefoot, it was DARK out there, and there have been a few cockroaches hanging out on the porch lately. As I'm trying not to laugh at my dad's antics and give our position away, I decide it's time to hightail it inside before I step on something squishy. I start tiptoeing to the front door and as I attempt to open the door quietly, so as not to gain attention from the hermits, Dad thought it would be funny to shine his BRIGHT flashlight on me for a split second. The whole front entrance was filled with white light. How could they not see that?! Thanks Dad. At that point I gave up on trying to get in the house secretly and laughed my way in. Neighbors or not, my dad is a hoot! No doubt the hermits saw that one.

Dad went out a little later and when he came back in he said it looked like there were burglars in the house across the street................but it was just the hermits shining their little headlamp around in their living room from corner to corner. No need to panic.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Password Paranoia

Over the last few months I have noticed that my phone bill just seems to continue going up, up, and up. Of course I'm the one to blame as I forget about how many texts I'm allowed, etc. Those overage charges really add up. Soooo, I'm attempting to do a little better about keeping up to date on my phone usage, to save a little moo-lah. Just doing my duty of trying to keep track of how many texts I have left and how many minutes I can spare to my friends..................and special someone, wink-wink.

Anywho, this evening I was sitting at the computer and figured I should probably log online and check out my current standing. I pull up the web page for my phone company, type in my number and then type in my password. The next thing I know, red words pop up saying the information is invalid and I need to try again. Well, I knew my password had to be one of two options so I tried again. In goes the number, in goes the password. DENIED. I try it again, and again, and again, and still nothing is working. At this point I'm thinking---what in the world?! For the life of me I couldn't figure out why my password was NOT working, I made sure num lock was on and caps lock was off, and I still couldn't get it. I could feel an exasperated spaz attack coming on and I was just about to get my sister on the phone and ask her to confirm my password, as she knows them all, when I looked down at the keyboard and noticed that my fingers were positioned on the correct row---EXCEPT for the fact that my fingers were one letter off to the right. Just a minor detail, right?! No wonder my password wouldn't work.

Only me.

Friday, August 8, 2008

A Pet To Call My Own

I have lost all three of my beloved pets in the last three years. They all got old together and to put it plainly---I miss them. I miss having that furry ball of lovable goodness to cuddle with, but with student teaching beginning it's just not the right time for me to get a new dog or cat.

Well, as I've been working in a classroom this past week, I've enjoyed catching glimpses of our class pets. Two little gerbils named Chip and Dale. You can't help but smile at their little antics as you see them throughout the day scritching around in their chewed toilet paper rolls and burrowing down in their wood chips. After the children went home this afternoon, I decided to get a closer look at the two little rodents that have captured the attention and hearts of all the students. As I leaned over the cage and watched Chip and Dale sleeping peacefully, for a moment I thought---wow, maybe I should get a little gerbil of my own. I was pondering that thought as I leaned in for a closer look and then it HIT me, like walking into a cloud. It was the unmistakable smell of soiled wood chips. All thoughts of ever having a rodent as a pet went flying out the window. There's no way.

A fleeting moment indeed.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Ants aren't quite in the pants.....

We were in the classroom today with our 4th graders, and we'd just come in from recess about 15-20 minutes earlier, when all of a sudden I felt something crawling around on my chest. (Inside the shirt!) I immediately got that look on my face where I try not to freak out and attempt to handle the situation calmly. I carefully pulled my shirt away from my skin and glanced down to see what I could find. There squirming around underneath my clothes was some kind of QUEEN ANT! Time for a freak out! As I was standing in the middle of the classroom I quickly popped my head up to see if anyone had noticed. Obviously I couldn't shake out my shirt with all those little eyes there, so I tried to do the next best thing. I casually brought my arm up across my chest and tried to crush the bug underneath my shirt. After a few forceful crushes and rolls of the arm I thought maybe that would be it. Not quite! I still felt movement and after taking another peek I knew I needed to get this thing out NOW. The attempt to crush the little critter seemed to only make it more agitated, and I wasn't comfortable with it squirming around down there, as I did not want to get bit. So, I quietly snuck out into the hallway, did a double take to make sure no one would see, and then popped it out from the top of my shirt. Fabulous!

I was ant free! I hope they don't have any hidden cameras at that school............

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

What's in your refrigerator?!

I had the wonderful privilege of getting to cuddle with my 18 month old cousin after she got up from her nap today. We were sitting on the couch and she was repeating everything I was saying so I thought I'd throw out a bigger word and see what came out.

I said "refrigerator" and the next thing that came out of her mouth had my mom and I biting back our laughter. We heard something along the lines of "......beer....." come out of her mouth. I thought, hmmm---we'll try that again. So I once again said "refrigerator" and she repeats back with a ".....beer......". Refrigerator was just a little to long for her to pronounce so she shortened it to what she could handle. The sounding she came up with to replace the full word was just too funny! Every time I would say "refrigerator", she'd say a sound that resembled "beer".

Got to love the innocence of children. They say the darnedest things!

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

The Name Game

Yesterday was my first day of student teaching in a 4th grade classroom. We have 16 boys and 10 girls, and I'm happy to report that I have memorized each and every one of their names, despite the opinion of one redheaded boy. I was speaking to one boy in particular, called him by name, and praised his work. The little redheaded boy sitting next to him spoke up and informed me of the "correct" way to say this little boys name. I said, "Yes, his name is _____." I repeated his name exactly how it was supposed to be pronounced. The redhead looked at me and said, "No, his name is _____. He's Chinese!" Number One-I know he is Chinese, and Number Two-I said his name correctly. I felt like telling my little redhead, "NO, maybe YOU aren't listening clearly." Of course I didn't say that, but I sure thought it. That lil redhead is too smart for his own good. While on the playground later that day, I made the mistake of asking him who his friend was and he spouted off some Chinese name. I pronounced it perfectly but he once again looked at me as though he was exasperated and said, "No, his name is _____." Fabulous.

A child with "hearing" problems, wink-wink.

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Gnat-rageous

Truly, it's an epidemic. The gnats are everywhere!

About a month ago my mom bought some soil for replanting a few houseplants, but what she didn't know at the time was that the soil was infested with little gnats. Now we do. These little bugs are the most ornery things alive. They bother you no matter what you are doing. You might be sitting there and all of a sudden you'll see a little black thing fly across your face. If you ignore it, he'll only come back, and this time he'll try to fly up your nose. It's like they want to get into your nose and mouth. They pester you and drive you nutso. I won't say who, due to protecting the innocent, but one family member has already had the unfortunate pleasure of feasting on four or five of them. We're always comparing notes and asking, "So how many gnats did YOU kill today?"

Last week I was down at my sisters house, and as I was sitting on the couch I saw that all too familiar black gnat fly by. I couldn't believe it! At first I thought I'd brought some stowaways with me but my sister explained that she had used some of my moms potting soil before realizing the problem within. So, we're both infested with these annoying little gnats, but we'll wait them out. They can't go on living forever. Right?!

We can't even escape them at work now! Just last week I was working at my desk and it felt like something was tickling my leg. I thought, "Oh no, it's not possible, it can't be a gnat." Oh how wrong I was. Seems as though they are breaking out everywhere. What is going on?!

When I hear someone across the house say, "Got it!", you know exactly what they are referring to and you can't help but smile. We WILL conquer this.

Toothbrush Troubles

This is what I learned last night:

When you are done brushing your teeth and it comes to the time when you quickly brush a few strokes across your tongue (gets rid of germs,etc.), do NOT stop halfway through. Just power through it, fight the desire to gag and just be done with it. For some reason I was moving at half speed last night and halfway through the tongue scrubbing I started to gag, bad. The tongue can only handle so much, you know. So I pulled the brush out, quickly regained my composure, and prepared to dive right in for the second go round and finish the job. Apparently I was still in gag-mode because as soon as the toothbrush made contact with my tongue, I found myself doubled over the sink, gagging. I felt like my stomach was lurching into my chest. Fabulous. The fact that all of this was caused by one little toothbrush made me want to laugh. I'm just glad my brother wasn't around to see that one.

Next time, no stopping till the job's done.