"And the most embarrassing phone call award goes to....."

Judith Anne---that's who!

Last month I had a visit from the city fire inspector, and he gave us a list of safety items that we needed to fix in our office. Well, today I called the general fire department number to schedule a re-inspection with him and the gal that answered transferred me on over to his line. After I was connected the line just seemed to ring and ring and ring with no answer. I hear a beep in the phone but the line continues to ring. By the time I heard the second beep I was thinking it a little strange. After what seems like the 20th ring, I hear his voice come on the line and all he says is his name, followed by "Fire Inspector". At this point I'm thinking to myself, "Great! I finally got through." So I start my chatty conversation with him, telling him my name and why I was calling. As I'm talking away, I start to think it interesting that I'm not hearing much on the other end of the line. No acknowledgement whatsoever, no "mmm-hmm". Not even breathing! So I decide to close my mouth and give him time to reply, thinking that maybe I was talking too fast for him. NOTHING was cracking over the airwaves. I let about 10 seconds of awkward silence go by before I realized---HE'S NOT EVEN THERE! It was his voicemail I'd been talking to the whole time but there was no warning whatsoever. (And here I sat thinking I'd been talking to a real person.) Pahhh, heaven help me! By then a panic was shooting across my brain and I was trying to think of a way to get out of this awkward mess. All I wanted to do was make a hasty exit and hang up but I realized I still hadn't left my phone number for a call back. I was stuck!

So, I decided to do what comes natural when it comes to embarrassing circumstances and played it off as though I knew exactly what I was doing all along. After I organized my game plan I quickly covered the mouthpiece and pretended I had been interrupted by a co-worker. Brilliant, right?! (That was to help cover the reason for my awkward silence.) Tahhh! So I uncover the mouthpiece right as I finish mumbling something to the "co-worker" that so rudely interrupted me and pick up where I originally left off, while throwing in there a "Sorry about that, as I was saying......." I wish you could have seen my face when the realization sunk in that I was talking to a recording, because I'm pretty sure it was red. Talk about awkward.

With the loopy message I left him full of pauses and awkward silence, I think HE deserves an award for putting up with a nut job like me!