Avalanche

I was out shopping with my mom and sister today when I happened to glance out my passenger side window. Now for those of you who don't know me here's a little tidbit of info: I am quite the car aficionado. I can spout off most makes and models with just a glimpse of the vehicle.

Anywho, as I looked out my window I noticed a truck driving beside us in the next lane over and I recognized it as a Chevy Avalanche. (At least that's what it looked to be.) The truck was much lower to the ground and when I glanced down at the name of the vehicle on the drivers door it looked like it said "RVlanche". I looked at my sister with a look of shock on my face and told her how I couldn't believe Chevy made a similar model to their Avalanche and called it an RVlanche. Never had I heard such a goofy thing.

After I filled my mom and sister in on how preposterous this name change was I quickly looked out my window for a second look. I started to say, "I mean look at that. It says RVa.........." and the rest of the words got caught in my throat. I realized it wasn't an "R" that was starting off the name of the truck but an "A".

In my defense I'd just like to say that Chevy's "A" looks very similar to a letter "R" and I thought they had made some major spoof off of one of their models. LOL!

Seek and You Will Find

The other day I was laying on the couch enjoying a good book when I reached for my bookmark to save my page. My hand came back empty and I was quite befuddled. My eyebrows shot up in confusion as I tried to figure out where my bookmark had gotten to. I quickly ran my hand around the top of the couch, as I was still laying down, feeling for it and searching for where it was hiding. All to no avail.

I then jumped off the couch and tore the cushions apart in search of my bookmark and yet I still found nothing. Confusion hit as I really had no idea what happened to my bookmark. It seemed as though it had vanished. I was clueless as to what happened to it.

About 10 minutes later as I was folding some laundry in the bedroom, I was still going on about where in the world that bookmark could have gotten to when my husband looked at me and said, "What is that?" I took note that he was looking directly at my chest and do you know what I found? (Other than those, LOL!) My bookmark! It was clinging to the inside of my shirt. Pahhhh!

I have no idea how it worked its way down my shirt or why I didn't feel it earlier but I was so happy to have my bookmark back. (My bookmark is 4 mini pictures of my husband and I.)

I just wanted to hold him close to my heart...................LOL!

Of All the Nerve

I was sitting at my desk yesterday when I received a phone call from a lady asking about our copy machine. That raised a red flag. Our current company that we use got bought out by Ricoh so when the lady said she was with Ricoh I was a little hesitant as to what the purpose of the call was. They NEVER call us, WE call them. Was she legit or was she an impostor working on her sales angle...........?

I peppered her with a few questions of my own using my P.I. skills to try and dig deeper as to her purpose. She asked for the model number on the machine and I thought I'd humor her and go look. I figured if she was legit then she should already have our account information so I was ready to challenge her when I got back to the phone.

I picked up the line and said, "Thank you for holding. Can I ask what this call is regarding?"

Her immediate response was "NO!" followed by a click.

She seemed so astonished that I would dare question her sales call and she responded in a voice that said I had a lot of nerve to talk to her that way. Let her not forget that SHE is the one who called ME. LOL!

Gives me a whole new perspective on the fun you can have with sales calls. :)

Into the Cave

Last night I was standing in the kitchen talking with my sister. I was rambling away when out of nowhere she yells, "You just swallowed a gnat!"

I believe "WHAT?!" was my first comment. She told me she watched as it flew closer and closer around my mouth and yet she gave me no hint that I needed to close my trap. She watched it fly right into my mouth! If I recall correctly my first reaction was a loud shriek, followed by another loud shriek that brought everyone running to see what all the commotion was about. I ran to the sink and swished some water hoping to catch the gnat before he headed into the abyss but no such luck. I never saw it come out. He was gone.

Every now and then I feel like it's clinging to the side of my mouth. This is what I'm left with.....

I thought my sister was genuinely listening to me when really she was just watching me eat bugs.

Thanks sis.

LOL!

Break Neck

I don't know how it happened, but it happened.

I was helping my dad unload a new water heater from the back of his truck. I jumped in to help him out and I got on the other side of the box so we could lift it out of the truck. Somewhere along the line our signals got crossed as to what our game plan was. I thought we were going to carry it to the back of the garage and dad thought we would just set it on the ground and pull it.

As Dad and I slid the water heater out of the truck I had my hands under the box attempting to get a good grip on it so I could carry it easier. Little did I know Dad had already popped the cardboard handles at the top of the box on HIS side. I didn't even know there were handles! So there we were holding the box, very awkwardly if you ask me, and the next thing I knew Dad began lowering his side of the box to the ground and it began to lean towards me at a dangerous angle. I didn't know we were putting it on the ground. Hence the need for a game plan. I was crouched like a frog with my hands placed under the box and as Dad was tipping it towards me the whole box began resting on my neck. My neck was holding up the dumb water heater! He yelled at me to get my hands out and when I did.....TWANG! I thought I broke my neck. LOL! I popped up off the ground clutching my neck, trying to figure out where "WE" went wrong.

If only you could have seen that dismount.

Twilight Zone

Have you ever seen the episode of "Twilight Zone" that deals with the ventriloquist dummies? The one where they come alive and move on their own? Well I have and I feel like I'm living it.

We have a life size cardboard cutout of a man at our house. It came as part of a display from the grocery store my brother works at and somehow it followed him home. This cardboard man has popped up in numerous places around our house, scaring anyone who unsuspectingly comes across him. From my brother's bedroom, to my parents closet, to my brothers backseat in the car. What is so disturbing about this poster cutout is the mans ecstatic face. It's no wonder it startled and scared people upon entering the grocery store. It's creepy.

The cardboard man's latest place of rest has been in our garage. I got startled by him this morning when I opened the garage door to put something away. I thought there was a man in the garage staring at me and it took my breath away. However, it was the second time he scared me this morning that really creeped me out. As I was exiting from the house through the garage door this morning I noticed the man was staring straight at me. I tried to push the image from my mind as I walked past him and hustled on down to the street where my car was parked. As I climbed in the car and turned the heater on I just so happened to glance up at the garage and the cardboard man was now facing the street...............staring straight at me! It sent shivers down my spine. How did that cardboard man with the intense smile get turned around? How was he facing the street when not seconds before he was facing the house?

Major creeper!!! Can you understand why I'm a little rattled about this? I'm sure there has got to be a reasonable explanation about how he got turned around but he has GOT to go.

TONIGHT.

Survival Guide

My sister and I walked into a Harbor Freight Tools store today. I had never set foot in this store before and when I thought of the name I always pictured men and tools.

That pretty much sums it up. Never have I felt so out of place. At least in Home Depot you have room to lose yourself among the aisles and blend in.

I purposefully did not wear heels with my outfit today knowing full well where I was headed on my lunch break. Despite the extra effort to tone down the outfit I was still treated like a princess. Talk about service....................pahhhh.

I was reminded of a few things today while my sister and I traversed the aisles full of men and tools. Something I like to refer to as a Quick Smart Survival Guide for the tool section. They are:

-Do not make jokes or laugh out loud as this kind of behavior draws attention to yourself (and is not appreciated by other members of your group)
-Do not stray from your party/group (strength in numbers.......remember that)
-Avoid direct eye contact unless it is a store clerk that you are trying to flag down (flash a little leg ONLY as a last resort)
-Be direct and to the point (give them an inch, they'll take a mile)

This doesn't mean throw your kindness and womanly gentleness aside but just remember to proceed with caution. Lessons I have once again been reminded of today with the goal set in mind of..........get in and get out!