How many licks does it take before you gag from licking envelopes?
In my case...............7.
I was sitting on my bed this morning with a freshly addressed (rather large) stack of announcements that were ready to be licked, sealed, and stamped. Licking envelopes shut is definitely NOT my favorite thing to do. Something about how it dries out my tongue just irks me. I feel like I need a Big Gulp when I have large amounts of items to mail. Do you know what it's like trying to create saliva when your mouth feels like Death Valley?! Harsh.
Well, there I sat staring at the pile of announcements, all the while knowing they weren't going to seal themselves. I grabbed the first one, licked it-sealed it-and set it aside. Took hold of the second and third and so on. I thought I was doing okay but around the fifth envelope I pulled I knew something wasn't right. As I began to lick the seventh envelope a terrible lurch started in my stomach and worked itself all the way to the top of my throat and I gagged big time. As I had only licked half the envelope I had to at least finish the job and as I went for the second lick, I was practically gagging with my tongue hanging out of my mouth. Maybe it was the taste of the glue, maybe it was due to the dry mouth since all the moisture had been SUCKED out of my mouth, but whatever it was..........it wasn't good. I tried to make it through the remaining stack of envelopes without another gag but it was near impossible. Oh, if you could have only seen it. The lurching, the shaking, the twisted facial features. Good times. A lot of love went into the packaging and mailing of those announcements. Tahhhh!
Where's the little blue bottle of magic moistener when you need it........AND WHY WAS I TOO LAZY TO GET UP AND GET A WET PAPER TOWEL?!
2 comments:
You know i was going to say how come you didn't get a paper towel or a washcloth....but as i finished you must have thought of that and now i can't give you that thought. but now i have an opening to say GEEZ Judith.... what am i gonna do with you..... if i was there i'd help ya out but also be smiling at ya from seeing your funny faces. :)
Lazy suzy should be your name :)
Ya I know, pathetic.....right?! I was a lazy daisy for sure. :) Too bad you weren't there to lend a lick, haha!
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