Monday, July 6, 2009

Drop, Plop & Duck

It seems that I have yet to learn the artful technique of dropping a poop pattie into the toilet from a soiled diaper.

I was faced with that situation today. I had just cleaned up and removed a poopie diaper from a certain lil someone that will remain anonymous. Rest assured it was not me. (Still holding out on the Depends for Women.)

I had the diaper in hand and was standing over the toilet deciding which angle I wanted to drop the pattie from. I now realize that perhaps I should have knelt down a little lower to the toilet to minimize the splash. I clearly wasn't thinking this through as the smells permeating the diaper were starting to seep into my brain. I apparently thought I would go for the roll technique. As I stood up over the toilet I lowered the diaper somewhat closer to the toilet and with a flick of the wrist the pattie plopped into the water below. I believe I gave it too much momentum as I gave that extra flick of the wrist because toilet water soon splashed up onto my legs. I believe I was paralyzed for a few seconds as I realized what had just splashed onto my white shorts. Horror of all horrors. I let out a panicked yell and swung the diaper, that was still in my hand, up past my face in a hurry to backup from the toilet. As though anymore damage could be done. I made the mistake of letting my eyes roam and got an eyeful of the remains in the diaper. I nearly went cross-eyed at the smell. At that moment my eyes began to twitch, my mouth curled, and I gasped for a breath of fresh air.

I dove for a Clorox wipe under the counter and scrubbed it onto my shorts. Needless to say, I'm still working on my drop and plop technique. Better luck next time!

1 comment:

Ashley said...


Ohh man!! You cease to Amaze me, oh humorous Judith!!! *snickers*