Soccer punch. And no, I'm not talking about the drink players gulp down on the soccer field.
Last night my husband was complaining about his pillow and how it wasn't cooperating. I told him it was probably due to the 5 soccer punches he threw its way moments before.
"Soccer punches?" he questioned. The lights were out but I could imagine the quizzical look on his face. "What's that? Don't you play soccer with your feet?"
"No," I said. "It's a real move." He then asked me to use it in a sentence and I came back with, "Billy took a soccer punch to the gut."
My husband clearly wasn't buying it and as I rolled over to face the wall he leaned towards me and said, "I think you mean sucker punch." In my defense I'd just like to say that the 2 words "soccer" and "sucker" sound similar.
So what if I've been wrong my whole life......LOL!
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Curiousity Killed the Cat
I wish loose dogs were the only thing I had to look out for in this small town trailer park, but alas, I must look out for cats too. One cat in particular that feels he owns the whole trailer park.
The evening air was cool and breezy and with my husband working outside on the other side of the trailer I decided to leave the front door open as I took out the trash. I made sure the screen door was latched behind me and set off for the dumpster. I hadn't made it more than 50ft. when I heard our dogs barking. I turned around right in time to see all the drama unfold.
All at once I saw the trailer park cat running in between our cars, the screen door popped open banging against the trailer as Abbie and Benny raced down the stairs with Chloe on their heels. The dogs were racing between the trailers after the cat and I immediately took off running down the lane as soon as they made it down the steps. I had hopes of cutting them off before they were able to get to the end of the street and exit the trailer park onto the streets of Calipatria.
Perhaps the dogs saw the fire in my eyes but Benny came to me without a fight and Abbie trotted up to me as though she had not a care in the world and she even had the nerve to look like she was smiling. Needless to say, Abbie and Benny were grabbed by the collar and marched back to the trailer. Chloe seemed to do a nervous dance and she ran back to the trailer ahead of us and didn't need to be told twice to get up inside. I've learned my lesson about the screen door but I hope the cat has learned his lesson to stay away from our trailer. If he doesn't he'll be flying through his 9 lives before our stay is up at this trailer park.
Perhaps that's not a bad idea........ KIDDING!
The evening air was cool and breezy and with my husband working outside on the other side of the trailer I decided to leave the front door open as I took out the trash. I made sure the screen door was latched behind me and set off for the dumpster. I hadn't made it more than 50ft. when I heard our dogs barking. I turned around right in time to see all the drama unfold.
All at once I saw the trailer park cat running in between our cars, the screen door popped open banging against the trailer as Abbie and Benny raced down the stairs with Chloe on their heels. The dogs were racing between the trailers after the cat and I immediately took off running down the lane as soon as they made it down the steps. I had hopes of cutting them off before they were able to get to the end of the street and exit the trailer park onto the streets of Calipatria.
Perhaps the dogs saw the fire in my eyes but Benny came to me without a fight and Abbie trotted up to me as though she had not a care in the world and she even had the nerve to look like she was smiling. Needless to say, Abbie and Benny were grabbed by the collar and marched back to the trailer. Chloe seemed to do a nervous dance and she ran back to the trailer ahead of us and didn't need to be told twice to get up inside. I've learned my lesson about the screen door but I hope the cat has learned his lesson to stay away from our trailer. If he doesn't he'll be flying through his 9 lives before our stay is up at this trailer park.
Perhaps that's not a bad idea........ KIDDING!
Monday, April 4, 2011
Good Intentions.....
Looking in the bed of my husbands truck I noticed it was rather..........messy. I decided I'd do him a favor and clean up his truck bed from the empty cups and bottles that littered the area.
As I moved about I saw a plastic bag that was tied and thrown up against his toolbox. The bag held some kind of carton in it. The bag was from Hobby Lobby and I could clearly read the words "Pilgrims Pride" on the carton so I knew it contained chicken liver leftover from his latest fishing expedition with my brother. I reached for the bag and as soon as I lifted it up the smell of death ran rampant in a cloud of the foulest air you can imagine. To make matters worse there were maggots all over the bottom of the bag, on the inside AND out.
I thought I was going to throw up in my mouth at the horrid smell emanating from that sack. I set the sack down on his toolbox and ran inside for a bag. There was no way I was going to carry that sack to the trash dump while the worms dropped here and there as I walked. It was bad enough watching the worms wriggle their way back into the safety of the bag and I knew I would have screamed if any one of those worms had touched me. I knew there was no way I could get the tied sack into the safety of my new garbage bag without getting something on me and I didn't want to chance it. I enlisted the help of a friend and together, fighting the urge to gag on the smell of death, we bagged the maggot filled sack. A few worms did not make it into the sack and I hate to think of where they wandered off to as I threw the "death sack" away.
My body is still cringing every time I think about those maggots in my husbands truck and I feel like little things are crawling all over me now. Although I started out with the best of intentions I doubt that I will ever attempt that again.........
As I moved about I saw a plastic bag that was tied and thrown up against his toolbox. The bag held some kind of carton in it. The bag was from Hobby Lobby and I could clearly read the words "Pilgrims Pride" on the carton so I knew it contained chicken liver leftover from his latest fishing expedition with my brother. I reached for the bag and as soon as I lifted it up the smell of death ran rampant in a cloud of the foulest air you can imagine. To make matters worse there were maggots all over the bottom of the bag, on the inside AND out.
I thought I was going to throw up in my mouth at the horrid smell emanating from that sack. I set the sack down on his toolbox and ran inside for a bag. There was no way I was going to carry that sack to the trash dump while the worms dropped here and there as I walked. It was bad enough watching the worms wriggle their way back into the safety of the bag and I knew I would have screamed if any one of those worms had touched me. I knew there was no way I could get the tied sack into the safety of my new garbage bag without getting something on me and I didn't want to chance it. I enlisted the help of a friend and together, fighting the urge to gag on the smell of death, we bagged the maggot filled sack. A few worms did not make it into the sack and I hate to think of where they wandered off to as I threw the "death sack" away.
My body is still cringing every time I think about those maggots in my husbands truck and I feel like little things are crawling all over me now. Although I started out with the best of intentions I doubt that I will ever attempt that again.........
Woof-Woof-Haa-Haa
Two Sunday's ago we had a musically talented family visit our church. They played a myriad of stringed instruments as well as putting on a small puppet show for the children. The puppeteers wanted the audience to bark, "Woof-woof-haa-haa, woof-woof-haa." One feels a little silly barking a chant like that but it was all for a good cause going along with the puppeteers message. We soon found out what we were "really" chanting was "Jesus loves you, very much." Well, it's been a few weeks now since that Sunday morning but I haven't forgotten that chant. I was sitting in the recliner today with my 3 dogs sprawled out nearby on the floor and was curious to see what their reaction would be to my dog chant. I began saying, "Woof-woof-haa-haa, woof-woof-haa" and all 3 dogs immediately jumped up and came closer to me with ears perked up and tails wagging. I continued barking my chant, growing louder and louder, and Abbie about nearly knocked me out when she tried to jump up in my lap! She immediately stretched out her thin frame and tried to kiss my face with her slobbery tongue! I sat in the recliner dodging her tongue turning my head left and right to get out of her reach. Watching her reaction to my bark made me laugh all the more which I'm sure encouraged her behavior. Chloe and Benny weren't far behind Abbie as they tried to push their way forward to get a better look at me. If you ever need a laugh just try barking "woof-woof-haa-haa, woof-woof-haa" to your dog and see what they do. If they don't react the way my dogs did then it probably just proves that I have 3 of the silliest dogs ever created. LOL
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Bottled Up
I saw the funniest thing in small town Calipatria today.
Clearly someone in this town takes being a dog owner seriously and puts forth an effort to keep their dogs locked up. I was enjoying an early evening bike ride with my husband when we rolled to a corner and waited for a break in traffic before crossing the road. We heard a commotion at the corner house towards our left and glanced over to see what the ruckus was. There behind the fence were about 5 or 6 Chihuahua's pushing up against the front gate as 1 of the dogs was clearly making headway in his great escape. We watched as he squeezed his porky sized body between the gate and fencepost and listened as the other dogs left behind seemed to bark their encouragement.......or maybe their protest at being left behind.
We continued to watch as he made his way to victory, reaching his freedom on the streets of Calipatria. While the escapee strutted his stuff along the sidewalk the remaining dogs looked on in defeat. What prevented the other dogs from breaking out were the plastic bottles attached around the dogs necks. With a wider body frame there was no way those dogs could squeeze between the fence and escape. Innovative, and brilliant!
I wish more people around here would take to tying plastic bottles around their dogs.......or a 50lb. weight. I know I'd sure appreciate it.
Plastic bottles, who would have thought.....
Clearly someone in this town takes being a dog owner seriously and puts forth an effort to keep their dogs locked up. I was enjoying an early evening bike ride with my husband when we rolled to a corner and waited for a break in traffic before crossing the road. We heard a commotion at the corner house towards our left and glanced over to see what the ruckus was. There behind the fence were about 5 or 6 Chihuahua's pushing up against the front gate as 1 of the dogs was clearly making headway in his great escape. We watched as he squeezed his porky sized body between the gate and fencepost and listened as the other dogs left behind seemed to bark their encouragement.......or maybe their protest at being left behind.
We continued to watch as he made his way to victory, reaching his freedom on the streets of Calipatria. While the escapee strutted his stuff along the sidewalk the remaining dogs looked on in defeat. What prevented the other dogs from breaking out were the plastic bottles attached around the dogs necks. With a wider body frame there was no way those dogs could squeeze between the fence and escape. Innovative, and brilliant!
I wish more people around here would take to tying plastic bottles around their dogs.......or a 50lb. weight. I know I'd sure appreciate it.
Plastic bottles, who would have thought.....
Monday, March 14, 2011
Highly Entertaining
I found it highly amusing this afternoon watching my dogs while I threw Goldfish pretzels at them. I have no idea how it started but once I began tossing the pretzels it truly was hard to stop amidst all the laughter it created.
Calling the dogs over to where I was sitting, I began to toss a pretzel to each of them. Abbie and Chloe are clearly not trained in the art of catching food with their mouths, unlike their brother Benny who has a big mouth and knows how to use it.
Watching Chloe was probably the most entertaining. I laughed hysterically every time I threw a pretzel her way because she wouldn't move a muscle, letting the pretzel hit her square between the eyes and then after it landed she would get up to eat it off the floor. I would toss it to her expecting her to catch it in her mouth and she'd let it bounce right off of her face. time and time again. Chloe just looked at me with her expressive eyebrows as if saying, "Why did you do that?"
Abbie on the other hand tries hard to catch the flying pretzels. After the first few hit her face and fall to the floor she catches on to the gameplan. (It takes her awhile to warm up and figure out what she is supposed to be doing.) I watched as she finally caught one with an open mouth, however, the pretzel stuck to the tip of her tongue as she sat there with an open mouth just long enough to look goofy.
Benny on the other hand will catch the pretzels in his mouth and then pick up what his sisters have missed. He's in constant motion the whole time and probably scores the biggest stash of all.
It's amazing the amount of laughter that's created from a handful of stale pretzels and 3 dogs. LOL!
Calling the dogs over to where I was sitting, I began to toss a pretzel to each of them. Abbie and Chloe are clearly not trained in the art of catching food with their mouths, unlike their brother Benny who has a big mouth and knows how to use it.
Watching Chloe was probably the most entertaining. I laughed hysterically every time I threw a pretzel her way because she wouldn't move a muscle, letting the pretzel hit her square between the eyes and then after it landed she would get up to eat it off the floor. I would toss it to her expecting her to catch it in her mouth and she'd let it bounce right off of her face. time and time again. Chloe just looked at me with her expressive eyebrows as if saying, "Why did you do that?"
Abbie on the other hand tries hard to catch the flying pretzels. After the first few hit her face and fall to the floor she catches on to the gameplan. (It takes her awhile to warm up and figure out what she is supposed to be doing.) I watched as she finally caught one with an open mouth, however, the pretzel stuck to the tip of her tongue as she sat there with an open mouth just long enough to look goofy.
Benny on the other hand will catch the pretzels in his mouth and then pick up what his sisters have missed. He's in constant motion the whole time and probably scores the biggest stash of all.
It's amazing the amount of laughter that's created from a handful of stale pretzels and 3 dogs. LOL!
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Produce Paranoia
I was at the local grocery store this morning to pick up items needed for new dishes. Upon entering the store I headed for the produce area first, steering the cart around displays, stopping here and there for items on my list. Normally I like to fly under the radar and be left alone while I shop but I had already been picked up on the produce man's radar upon entering the department. He offered assistance and I declined the invitation, preferring just to browse, and not a moment later I found myself in need of a price check. The produce man seemed to follow me as I moved along and was more than happy to assist. I thanked him and moved on to the fresh herbs.
I stood in front of the herb section staring at all the leafy green herbs before me. I was able to recognize the parsley and pulled out a bunch and bagged it. Next on my list was basil, however, I couldn't seem to locate the basil, nor could I see it on any of the price tags along the shelf. I saw signs for mint leaves, parsley, and cilantro but no basil. I picked up a bunch of the anonymous green thing and smelled it. I even ripped a leaf hoping to catch a whiff of basil but instead I smelled nothing. I placed it back on the shelf and hunted through the herbs that were tagged with names but found no marked basil.
I didn't know what to do and I didn't want to buy something and cook with it if it was the wrong herb. I had wasted enough time looking over herbs and I wanted an answer. I really didn't want to have to bother the produce man again so I picked up the mystery bunch and took a picture with my phone. I intended to send it to my sister for clarification on what it was. All the while I was aware that the produce man was watching me from across the department. I know he saw me snap the picture and I'm sure he thought I was a mystery shopper sent for inspection. I probably looked very conspicuous.
I decided to call my sister instead for a direct answer and I continued hovering around the herbs until I noticed the produce man making his way towards me. I thanked my sister for her guidance and snatched up the boxed basil on the shelf nearby, watching as the produce man began inspecting the array of herbs out on display.
Rest assured Mr. Produce Man, your fresh herbs looked fine and I am no mystery shopper. I'm just a girl that can't tell the difference between one green leaf and another.
I didn't have any luck in the meat department either when 3 different unwanted meat men tried to be of assistance.
So much for flying under the radar.
I stood in front of the herb section staring at all the leafy green herbs before me. I was able to recognize the parsley and pulled out a bunch and bagged it. Next on my list was basil, however, I couldn't seem to locate the basil, nor could I see it on any of the price tags along the shelf. I saw signs for mint leaves, parsley, and cilantro but no basil. I picked up a bunch of the anonymous green thing and smelled it. I even ripped a leaf hoping to catch a whiff of basil but instead I smelled nothing. I placed it back on the shelf and hunted through the herbs that were tagged with names but found no marked basil.
I didn't know what to do and I didn't want to buy something and cook with it if it was the wrong herb. I had wasted enough time looking over herbs and I wanted an answer. I really didn't want to have to bother the produce man again so I picked up the mystery bunch and took a picture with my phone. I intended to send it to my sister for clarification on what it was. All the while I was aware that the produce man was watching me from across the department. I know he saw me snap the picture and I'm sure he thought I was a mystery shopper sent for inspection. I probably looked very conspicuous.
I decided to call my sister instead for a direct answer and I continued hovering around the herbs until I noticed the produce man making his way towards me. I thanked my sister for her guidance and snatched up the boxed basil on the shelf nearby, watching as the produce man began inspecting the array of herbs out on display.
Rest assured Mr. Produce Man, your fresh herbs looked fine and I am no mystery shopper. I'm just a girl that can't tell the difference between one green leaf and another.
I didn't have any luck in the meat department either when 3 different unwanted meat men tried to be of assistance.
So much for flying under the radar.
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