The Night Watchman

Where to begin. . . . . .

The other night I was on the phone with a dear friend when I started hearing some strange sounds. It was a cool evening so we had our ceiling vents open and I heard a sound that made my senses go on alert. It sounded as though someone was tapping their fingers on the roof of our trailer. I cautiously got up off the bed from where I'd been laying down and peered up into the open vent half expecting to see someone staring back at me. I flipped the lights off in the bedroom so I could see into the darkness above me a little better and found nothing. I reassured myself it was just the wind that was to blame as it was causing things to blow around.

I continued my conversation with my friend and then my dog, Chloe, came up to me. I was picking up on the vibe that she needed to go outside. Secretly. . . I was not looking forward to going out into the night. I threw on a jacket, grabbed a flashlight and stepped out into the evening air with Chloe. I sent her off to do her business but all she'd do was stand there and stare at me.

It's very dark out here at night and we don't have a lot of room between our trailer and our parked vehicles and I continued hearing noises (most likely caused from the wind) but I let my imagination get the best of me. I would picture somebody peering at me from around the trailer or sneaking up from behind me and the noises began to freak me out. I had the flashlight on the whole time but it seemed right when I would shine it in the direction I wanted to "check" the light would go out! There I was standing beside our trailer, a wide eyed look on my face, a dog staring up at me, and I'm banging the flashlight against the palm of my hand willing it to turn on again all the while thinking this would be an opportune time for somebody to jump me. (I told you. . . . . wild imagination.)

So there I stood, darting the flashlight all around trying to check my surroundings with a dog that wouldn't go to the bathroom. I said forget it and we began our march to the trailer steps when I saw something sitting in the middle of the road, and it seemed to be looking in my direction. I had no idea what it was and when I tried to shine the flashlight on whatever it was the light wouldn't come on. Of course. After furiously clicking the button on the light and holding my breath it finally turned on and I shined it in the direction of the thing I saw. There sitting in the middle of the road was an owl staring straight at me.

That was the icing on the cake for me. I wondered how long he'd been watching me. My eyes were probably mirror images of his big eyes and I hustled Chloe and myself inside.

Whatever Chloe had to do would wait til daylight.

Cowpatria

My husband and I have moved to our newest location. A small town in the middle of the desert called Calpatria. However, with my own personal reasons I feel they should name this place Cowpatria.

We're living on a dirt lot with a few shade trees around us but that sizzling sun makes it feel more like summer than winter. We made camp on a space big enough to fit our trailer and both vehicles. Our "yard" size for our 3 dogs has definitely been cut down with both our vehicles being parked alongside the trailer. We have a small dirt patch with a few blades of grass shooting up from the ground, but perhaps I should say "had". I had to take our Benny boy outside on an emergency run and he went straight to the grass and chewed it down to nubbins.......much like a cow. He is our own personal black and white cow that has left us with little to no grass now. It's like a true Charlie Brown backyard.

So, with all the black and white cows around this farming community, including the one living inside my trailer, I feel the name of this town should be changed to Cowpatria.

Seems fitting.

Regulated

I went to Jason's Deli for lunch with my family today and after we finished our meals I asked if anyone wanted one of their complimentary soft serve ice-cream cones. While I got my sisters cone with chocolate frozen yogurt I noticed the chocolate was thick. It was coming out very slow and I wondered if the machine would have enough gusto to squeeze a little out into my own cone.

I grabbed a cone and pulled the lever for the chocolate. Nothing was coming out so I released the lever, waited a few seconds and then pulled it again. Ever so slowly some chocolate yogurt started to squeeze out, first a half inch, then an inch, then 2 inches.......and then all movement ceased. Now use your own imagination. I'm staring at a brown tube like structure of ice-cream that is just dangling above my cone waiting below. I could tell you what I thought it looked like but that wouldn't be appropriate. However, that didn't stop the man beside me from shouting it out.

"Whooooooa, that thing's constipated!" was all I heard. The man practically yelled it out as he looked over my shoulder. It's like he wanted people to come up and see this ridiculous stunt the machine was pulling. Rather than have an audience while I waited for the obstinate "constipated" chocolate yogurt to come out I moved over to the more "regulated" vanilla. LOL!

O-M-G

As my body is still getting used to Daylight Savings I find myself up early in the mornings. With so much time on my hands I figured a visit to the Eisenhower Museum was in order. So off I drove to Abilene, KS.

As I meandered through the museum I was all alone. I don't know whether I was the first one to show up today or I was just on the opposite side of the museum from other guests, but it was very quiet in there and I felt like I had the place to myself.

I went about reading the plaques that were loaded with information about Dwight D. Eisenhower and I soon found myself in a secluded back corner of the museum. I continued reading and looking at the black and white pictures placed on the wall when I heard a strange noise behind me. It sounded as though it was coming from the ceiling and I immediately looked up but didn't see anything out of the ordinary. I turned around and continued reading where I'd left off. After a few seconds had passed I heard another sound, as if something was being ripped or moved nearby and my senses were on alert. I swung around to take in my surroundings but still found nothing out of place. The noise grew louder and closer and it was definitely creeping me out. As my eyes darted back and forth around the exhibit I couldn't see anything strange. Then all at once I gasped with fright and jumped backwards as a plaque display peeled itself off the wall and slid to the floor. The sound I'd heard was nothing more than sticky tape being pulled apart. Talk about startled!

I immediately did a 360 to see if anyone had seen what just went down but I knew if the security cameras were rolling somebody had to have seen my display of wide eyed glances and my jerky dance to the side when it all came down.

As I was leaving that part of the museum I noticed an employee walking around pushing the plaques firmly against the wall where I had just been and I wondered, "Hmmm, did they just learn from my previous mishap?" LOL!

Disappearing Act

I once heard that if you have dogs that like to dig you should refill the holes and put dog poop on top of them in order to deter the dogs from digging. Well, I have put this suggestion to the test and found it to work..........until now.

Out of the three dogs I now own I have discovered that one of my dogs occasionally goes through a poop eating phase. Much to my dismay, of course.

The dogs got into some mischief over the last week and I found myself with rake in hand as I tried to fill the holes that had appeared on either end of the house. It was an ongoing battle trying to keep the holes filled and preventing the dogs from re-digging the holes until I remembered the "poop deterrence". I immediately went outside and placed a handful of ripe poopies on each of the holes. This process has worked fabulously in the past and present but I'm noticing something missing as of late...............poop.

Every time I go outside I notice that there are less and less poops covering the holes that the dogs have dug. I thought it odd that dog poop was seeming to simply disappear until I saw it with my own eyes. Out in the middle of the yard I noticed our boy pup chomping down on something abnormal looking. After rushing outside for a closer look I soon realized who our poop culprit was. Not only does he move the poop from its strategically placed location on the holes but he also makes it disappear.

Talk about cleaning up after yourself. LOL!

Hell's Kitchen

Today I survived working in the restaurant business for the first time ever.

As much as I love watching restaurant shows and reality cooking shows on TV I have never had a desire to work in the restaurant scene. Today however gave me a glimpse into the restaurant business I won't soon forget.

I was asked by family friends to help work in their catering/drive-up lunch window restaurant. I have never worked in the food industry and have even had nightmares over working a cash register machine but low and behold I agreed to do it. I showed up bright and early this morning at the back door to the restaurant and was welcomed in by the training committee.

Before I knew it I had donned an apron and was thrown into Training 101 on how to use a cash register. My biggest foe. I believe my tummy was in a ball of knots due to the anticipation but I soon figured out how to operate the machine. While processing a few to-go orders the machine blatantly beeped at me showing displeasure at my commands but I shook it off and continued onward. I wasn't about to let the machine frazzle me and it seemed my mouth made more blunders than anything.

While I was giving a customer a description of the main entree I caught myself saying, "We have a chickadee pattie that is fried...." It was supposed to be chickpea and as soon as I said chickadee I felt like slapping my hand to my forehead in embarrassment. Not only did the customer hear my mixed words but the construction worker across the lane was staring right at me as I rambled on about chickadee and chickpea. I laughed it off and quickly corrected my blunder. (Much to the customer's amusement I'm sure.) LOL!

I sent a lady out with a pita sandwich instead of a salad today but hopefully she'll forgive me because...............

I'll be back tomorrow and will face another fast paced lunch hour of filling customers orders and taking money.

Here's to another day in my own personal Hell's Kitchen episode. (It's pure bliss!)

Swat the Season

How is it that fly swatters can be a seasonal item in stores?

I have had so much trouble with flies in our trailer. They fly in and I can't seem to get rid of them. I have looked everywhere for a fly swatter and nobody has them. I have tried using my flip flops but the flies are just too fast for the shoe slamming towards them. I find myself thinking, "Wait 2 or 3 days, then they'll slow down a bit and be easier to kill......." I'm trying to be patient but I need a fly swatter now!

Out of desperation I finally stopped at a Walgreen's pharmacy today and asked the cashier if they carried any. I informed her I looked on the mop aisle where they are typically kept and found nothing. Much to my dismay she replied that IF they had any they would be by the mops. She then went on to tell me that fly swatters are a seasonal item and they only order them once a year. Once they are out, they are out. Sold, zilch, gone.

Nearly every household in America has a fly swatter..........so why can't mine?

Why must finding a fly swatter be so difficult?!