When ya got to go......

I was visiting a local mall this evening when I decided to stop over and use the ladies room. I walked down the long tiled hallway to the restroom and after walking in I realized it was practically empty. Empty except for two young girls.

A young girl of about 6 or 7 years old came out of a nearby stall when I walked in and she breezed down the row of stalls until she came to the door that housed her friend, whose voice sounded about 8 or 9 years old. I didn't feel like doing a foot check under the stall doors which were seemed to be shut at the same moment so I did what I felt most comfortable doing and deided to seek out the stall with the open door, knowing for a fact that it would be empty. It just so happened that it was the stall right next to the young girl.

Now let me just tell you that upon walking into the restroom I was hit with the fresh smell of..........poo. As I was laying the toilet paper down on my seat preparing for my visit I couldn't help but overhear the two young girls conversation taking place in the stall next to me. This is how it went down:

Girl in Stall: "Come under the door."
Girl in Hall: "No."
Girl in Stall: "Yes, I want to SHOW you something. Come under the door."

There was a brief pause and after a second or two passed I heard the girl in the stall say, "See, I told you......when I got to go, I got to go."

I wanted to bust out laughing when I heard that but I held it in until the little munchkins were way out of ear shot. I can only imagine what was in that toilet that was worth climbing under a stall door to see.

The Art of Evasion

For the past few days we've had a cockroach at large in the house. He has been evading each and every death attempt made on his life, much to my frustration. We never seemed to have a shoe on hand when the time fit. I could only remind myself that he would slip up at some point and I WOULD catch him. His days were numbered. I was determined.

I no longer felt safe walking into my own bathroom as that was the only place he kept showing his ugly head. Imagine stepping into your bathroom with caution every time you had to use the toilet. Shaking out the hamper to see if anything would run out or pulling out the drawers with caution for fear of something running up your arm.

Well, tonight I had my chance to strike back.

I was on the phone in my bedroom when all of a sudden I heard my mom scream in the bathroom, followed by a loud commotion of movement and noises. As soon as I heard her yell I instinctively grabbed my shoe and ran to the door.

Apparently the little creeper had been hiding out on the toilet somewhere and ran down her leg when she sat down! Talk about a jump start to the ol' ticker!

As Mom was now standing on top of the toilet I cautiously pulled out the hamper where he'd run off to and prepared to give it a shake and drive him out. The movement definitely drove him out but he wasn't on the run for long. This was my chance. I raised my shoe and slammed it down with gusto!

The rest is history.

It's a Subway Day

My sister and I wanted something fresh today so we decided to head to Subway at the noontime lunch hour. (Actually, my sister just wanted to get more Scrabble game pieces for the sweepstakes that is going on at Subway right now, but that is just a side note.)

Anywho, as we were standing in line we got on the subject about how men misinterpret women at times. One simple smile from a girl and a guy thinks it's an open invitation. We were joking about how women have to put on a "mask" at times just to be left alone.

Well, we scooted on down the line towards the register and I looked away for a second to tell the guy what veggies I wanted and as I looked back to the register all I saw was my sister slightly bending over as if she'd just plucked something up off the ground. That was ALL the encouragement the man behind the register needed. The next thing I knew he was blabbing on his thank you's to my sister for catching a falling paper in midair and how good her reflexes were. Of course it didn't stop there...........

He continued on with how FAST she moved and how great she was. (At that point my sister was thinking to herself, "Where's my mask?!" HA!) We had just talked about this not 5 seconds earlier.

He raved on and on about how she saved him from walking around the counter to get the fallen piece of paper, and how he might not look old to the average eye, but he's 50 and he's been preserved by drugs and alcohol. HE SAID IT, not me! He was so appreciative for what my sister had done that he discounted her meal in a major way. (You couldn't help but see the twinkle in his glossy eyes.) Guess it pays off to have friends in "high" places cause I got my meal discounted too, just for being there, wink-wink.

The only fine print was that he told me that my sister and I needed to come back now. HA! I could only imagine my sisters face from behind me when he said that. Oh the things we do for Scrabble letters.

So much for the "masks"!

Since she and I both won some instant prizes I suppose we'll have to go back now.

I KNOW my sister certainly earned her discount today with those lightening speed reflexes of hers. Pahhhhh!

Fly Swatter, Stat

I was so absorbed in my filing process this morning that I nearly had a heart attack when a wayward fly flew into my head and got tangled in the curls! All I heard was bzzz-bzzzzz-bzzz. Freaked me out! My heart felt like it burst out of my chest when the fly collided with my head and I can only imagine what I must have looked like as I shook the desk chair out of shock and flailed my arms up in the air with all my filing.

I'm just glad my co-worker in the front wasn't in his office at the time to see that display of "motion".

Where's a fly swatter when you need one?!

Please Let Me Disappear

I was at our local CostCo shopping with my dad this evening. He was over picking up prescriptions and I wound up on "cart duty". Mmm-hmmm, keeping an eye on the cart to make sure someone doesn't roll off with it. Well, I wasn't really a fan of standing by the "Pads" and "Poise" so I decided to move on down the line with the cart to somewhere that didn't scream out "look at me".

I looked back over my shoulder and noticed Dad was at the counter picking up his drugs. Perfect. I continued looking at items on the shelf when all of a sudden..........there it was. That ring I know all too well. My head snapped up and I quickly took in my surroundings looking for any older aged person that might be nearby that would have such a loud ring. I was secretly hoping that it wasn't my dad for the person that had the ringing phone continued to let it ring.....and ring......and ring. After a few moments of eyeing the people around me my eyes finally landed back on my dad. The phone was still ringing and I saw my dad reach for HIS phone and the loud ringing ceased at that exact moment. All I could do was shake my head in embarrassment. My dad.

I guess my only consolation during this situation was that I was 30 feet away from him when all this went down.

A blessing indeed..............until he came and stood by me. LOL!

At least his phone wasn't blaring the typical tune of "Ooooh when the saints.......go marching in......."

Office Blunder

I popped into my sisters office before leaving work today to chat for a few. Just a perk of working at the same company.

Anywho, as we were talking in walked Andrew whom I haven't seen in over a year so you can understand if my brain was a little foggy. The first thing that popped out of my mouth was, "Hi Andy! Oh wait, it's Andrew, right?"

I couldn't believe I slipped like that. You see, my sister and I enjoy watching "The Office" and working at our own "office" we've seen similarities between co-workers and the characters on the actual show. Hence, we've given them secret "names". Not that we'd ever tell them of course, but we know who anonymously plays the roles in our place of work.

My mind apparently skipped a beat because he was our "Andy, aka-Andrew Bernard" at the office and I just shouted out to the world, "Hi Andy!" It's like my brain automatically took over. Pahhhh! My cover was almost blown but at least his name was Andrew, so it was a believable mistake. Right? HA!

After he left her office she and I just looked at each other with laughter written all over our faces. I almost let the cat out of the bag!

Got to love the office.

Little did I know.......

I was on my way back to my work station today when one of my co-workers grabbed my attention and said, "I just wanted to let you know that you are NOT an alien."

My first response was a surprised, "OH! Well that's good to know."

I always thought myself a citizen of the U.S. so I couldn't imagine why they'd think I'd be an alien. I'm not from across the border and I've got papers to prove it. Pahhhh!

Of course I figured that wasn't the kind of "alien" they were referring to.

She went on to explain that my work has been so extraordinary that they thought it just had to be done by someone out of this world.

Nope. That's just my amazing skills shining through the glare of the fluorescents on the production floor.

While she went on singing my praises, she explained that her comment was meant to be taken as a compliment. I thanked her for the kind thought (LOL-as goofy as it sounded) and tried to move on as there were other people sitting around that were listening in. Other data entriers that were not told they were "out of this world". I secretly wanted her to just stop.

I don't need daggers being shot at me while I try to make my quota! LOL!