Communion Crumble

Last Sunday morning we took communion in church. The dishes of bread and juice had all been passed out and the pastor was beginning the communion. As the congregation moved to partake in the eating of the bread, aka-the cracker, I placed my little tidbit into my mouth. I took a bite and was hit with that all too familiar communion cracker taste that I have come to enjoy, but before taking another chomp on my cracker my ears were picking up on something and I decided to pause and listen.

Have you ever heard it rain in church?

I have! I paused with the cracker in my mouth and sat there a moment and listened to my surroundings. I listened as a few hundred people chewed their cracker crumb all at the same time and it was the most amusing sound. Truly! It sounded like thousands of little raindrops were hitting the church roof!

I couldn't help but smile at the sound I was hearing and sheepishly looked over at my brother sitting next to me on my left and the lady on my right. I wanted to see if they noticed the pitter-patter sounds themselves but I seemed to be the only one.

Finding amusement in the least likely of things. :)

Express to the Floor

Last night I nearly passed out as I was rummaging around in my eye for half a contact. Pahhh! Let me explain..........

I was taking my contacts out last night and as I went to extract the contact in my left eye my eyelid did something silly and shuttered shut JUST as I'd pinched the contact to pull it out. Well, my contact didn't appreciate the eye flutter and ripped itself right in half. I discarded the half contact on my finger into the trash can and immediately set to finding the other half. That involved looking in the mirror very up close and personal to try and find something that is near invisible. Not easy!

There I stood staring into the mirror, fighting with my dumb eyeball for the other half of contact that remained to be MIA. I couldn't find it but ohhhhh, could I feel it! I stood there leaning over the counter, day old mascara chunks sliding on my cheeks from tears, I had panic written in my eyes, I was starting to get hot from worry and frustration, and I was starting to make myself sick. Every time I would squeeze my eye, thinking I had the contact, I'd pull up a little bit of "something" and I couldn't tell if it was eye membrane or the half piece of contact! But just the thought and my overactive imagination was enough to do me in and I immediately started getting that warm feeling. I would have laughed out loud at myself had the moment not been so serious. I had to start fanning myself with my hand just to help cool me down and prevent the next step to passing out.

After blinking my eye in water and rubbing it more times than I could count, the little piece of contact DID in fact make it out but it sure put forth a good fight and nearly brought me to the floor in the process. All I could think about was what that clear fold of stuff was that I continued to see each time I'd pinch my eye and it was enough to gross me out.

Moments like that remind me of the first day I wore contacts at the Wal-Mart eye center and I passed out on their lobby floor. LOL! Ohhhhh, good times...............

Dispense as Follows

Last weekend I was travelling home from Southern California with my mom and sister. We made it across the California/Arizona border and decided a quick stop at the gas station was needed. As we were cruising along I decided to push it until we reached Quartzite which was just right across the border.

I let the ladies go on ahead and use the restroom while I gassed up the car.........with fuel. After they came back I left my sister to clean the front windshield and headed on into the restroom. Upon entering my stall I came face to face with a paper sign taped to the inside of the door. It read in English and Spanish:

---Please dispense all soiled toilet paper directly into the toilet.---

Now, I can only imagine WHY they would have to post something like that in the restroom. Who was the guilty culprit?

Ohhhh, how I wish I'd had my phone with me! I could've snapped a picture to go along with the story. Just remember as you set out on your travels---there are new surprises behind every door.

Heartattack Hill

Last night Dad and I decided to go for a bike ride. We set off with our destination in mind. In order to get to that destination we had to ride through a sketchy part of town, sketchy---especially at NIGHT. So off we were, peddling through this town and we came to a big hill that we had to climb. It's the bridge that leads over the freeway, and Lord help me I thought I was going to die riding up that thing! It's a climb..........that's all I could say as my lungs were burning and I gasped for air. Dad passed me when he had a clear break and charged on ahead, up the hill to the top of the bridge but it's barely a workout for him with those tree stump legs of his. Shoot, my legs were like noodles and my thighs were on fire! Halfway up this hill I realized that I would probably gain more ground if I got off my bike and walked it to the top. NO JOKE! Cars were zooming past me at 30mph and there I was going no faster than .5mph. I kid you not, I was moving at a snails pace and it felt like I was stuck in slow motion. I think I was barely moving at one point. It's as those time stood still. Pahhhhhh!

Well, I trudged on ahead and finally made it to the top of the freeway bridge without having to get off my bike. It felt like my lungs were burning a hole in my chest. LOL! I took a 10 second breather and then we rode on to the trailhead area near the mountain park we were headed to. I soon realized that the mile long rode back to the ramadas was UPHILL. (It never felt like we were going uphill in the car, but put yourself on a bike and you can feel the difference.) Once we got back there I parked my bike in front of the fountain and drank to my hearts content.

Let me just say that as Dad and I turned around to head back home, I barely had to peddle at all and it was complete BLISS! We coasted down the whole mountain rode and when we got to the freeway bridge I thought I was in heaven. I didn't even have to peddle coming down. I told my dad that we had to have broken the 25mph speed limit in town. LOL! Getting there was a real pain but coming home was oh so sweet!

Will I ever do it again? Hmmm................................I think so!

Chug-Chug-Chug

I was JUST in the kitchen getting things ready for dinner and I pulled out the glass jar of bacon bits from the fridge for our baked potatoes. I walked out of the kitchen holding the skinny jar and noticed the little bits were packed in there so I decided to shake the bottle in the air. There I was, hand raised in the air with my bacon bit GLASS jar, moving it in circles as though I was cheering on the home team.

I was shaking things up when I started yelling "chug-chug-chug" with each rotation of the arm and the next thing I know I clocked myself right above the eyebrow with that glass jar! Pahhhhhh! I think I was stunned for a second or two as I processed what I had just done and my sister who was watching the whole presentation broke out in laughter. Not that I blame her, for I was soon laughing at myself. I couldn't believe I had just clunked myself in the head. I needed something cool to put on my injury so I raised the cold bacon bit jar and placed it on the ol' forehead. Oooooooh, if you could only have seen that go down.

I think I feel a goose-egg coming on............

Attacked by a bear?!

Last night I woke up to my brother coming down the hall with his flashlight. Even though he comes in at odd hours of the night he still likes to come to my room and see the dogs. Well, I had just woken up as he came down the hall and I was in a near sitting position, leaning against my headboard when he asked me, "What are you doing?"

I responded in a sad voice that I was just thinking of our sister. I could tell from his voice that he wore a confused look on his face and he asked in an incredulous voice, "Why?"

I looked at him in disbelief and felt like asking him how he could be so insensitive. Here our sister had just been attacked by a bear in the mountains and was clinging to life by a thread and he had the audacity to ask me WHY I was thinking of her?! I couldn't believe it! I told him that she'd been attacked by a bear and he replied back with a "What? She was attacked by a bear?" He then made a comment about her dog Bella, Bella the Bear.

And then....................well, then I started to piece things together in my brain and realized it was just a dream that I had just woken up from. It had seemed so real that I thought it had truly happened and my sister WAS out there in some mountain hospital barely alive and I had to find her.

That's twice now in the past week that I've woken up from a dream thinking it had really happened and drug my brother into it. He must think I'm a nutjob. Hahaha!

Hitchhiker

Last week I drove my brother and my fiance up to Prescott, AZ for a little fun in the cooler weather. We arrived to the hotel before my dad, mom, and sister so we pulled into the parking lot and turned off the car. My brother hopped out to take a gander at his new surroundings and with hands in his pockets he scouted out the area. As he crept closer to the front of my car his head shot up and he looked back at me still sitting in the drivers seat and told me I hit something. I replied back with, "What?!" In my mind I was trying to calculate the damage done from this mystery object I must have hit driving through the mountains. The next thing I know my brother leans down and nonchalantly pulls up the front page of a newspaper that had been clinging to my grill for who knows how long. Pahhhhh! I don't know why that struck me as being so funny but I can only assume I laughed so hard because all I could think about was how long that must have been flapping in the breeze as I zoomed across the miles and what we must have looked like. I vaguely remembered a flying piece of newspaper while we were still in the Valley on the freeways, but I thought I had driven over it. Perhaps the reason I couldn't stop laughing was due to the reason that I couldn't stop picturing us driving down the road with a big old front page attached to our grill. Normally I'm the one letting out a little laugh at other people who have items stuck in their grill.

The only thing that made it worse was that I had been having chest pains and it hurt to laugh. My brother looked back at me sitting in the car as I was clutching my side, desperately trying to keep my laughing under control. I just thought the whole situation was too funny. I had to stop looking at my brother, otherwise I was going to laugh myself right into a heart attack!

It probably didn't help when he told me he'd get rid of the newspaper and threw it on the ground and began kicking it down the little hill in front of the car. That only spurred on more laughter from a girl who couldn't laugh. What a nut job............LOL!